How to convince my GF to move far away from home...

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CrackRabbit

CrackRabbit

Lifer
Mar 30, 2001
16,642
62
91
This is kind of a continuation of this thread. I have talked to my GF about moving if I am offered a job in Portland, and she seems to be dead set against going.
I see going as the only way to advance my career and move forward in life, but she doesn't want to move away from her current job that she enjoys or 2000 miles away from her family.
I can't think of any convincing argument for why she would enjoy living there. Basicaly the whole thing would be for my advancement and she would kind of get the shaft, and I don't want to do that to her.
I am stuck at a roadblock as to what to do.

CrackRabbit...

Edit: My GF and I have been together almost 5 1/2 years, its a very serious relationship. It isn't like I have been dating her for 3 weeks and then asked her to move cross country with me.
 
T

T3C

Diamond Member
Jun 3, 2003
5,324
0
0
Do what you feel. Do you love her and want to start a family? If so stay. Is your job the most important to you at this point in your life? If so go for it.
 
S

sonz70

Banned
Apr 19, 2005
3,693
1
0
There will always be more girls in your life, its either chanin yourself to her here, or leave and take and go forward.

Another things is fine things from there that you can do. Take her to the city, show her around, fine things you like, put money aside so she can fly back to her family, find out if her job can tranfer her to said city, ect ect
 
R

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Originally posted by: CrackRabbit
This is kind of a continuation of this thread. I have talked to my GF about moving if I am offered a job in Portland, and she seems to be dead set against going.
I see going as the only way to advance my career and move forward in life, but she doesn't want to move away from her current job that she enjoys or 2000 miles away from her family.
I can't think of any convincing argument for why she would enjoy living there. Basicaly the whole thing would be for my advancement and she would kind of get the shaft, and I don't want to do that to her.
I am stuck at a roadblock as to what to do.

CrackRabbit...
Click to expand...

Take a look at your argument, reverse it. Thats why she doesn't want to move, because she's probably in a job that will advance her career.

I don't think it's got anything to do with moving away from home..

So whats the problem here.

Edit: She's just a girlfriend man, you're not married. I'd NEVER ask my girlfriend to move with me if she didn't want to.

 
CrackRabbit

CrackRabbit

Lifer
Mar 30, 2001
16,642
62
91
Originally posted by: RyanSengara


Take a look at your argument, reverse it. Thats why she doesn't want to move, because she's probably in a job that will advance her career.

I don't think it's got anything to do with moving away from home..

So whats the problem here.

Edit: She's just a girlfriend man, you're not married. I'd NEVER ask my girlfriend to move with me if she didn't want to.
Click to expand...

That is the crux of the matter, with her current job she has advanced very quickly because she is good at what she does. But the company has a site in the Portland area that I am pretty sure she could transfer to with no problems, but she may not be able to keep her position, senority or respect she has earned here.
 
E

erub

Diamond Member
Jun 21, 2000
5,481
0
0
sounds like this is more of a permanent situation, but my girlfriend recently moved from Texas to Nebraska for a 2 year position, while I'm still at Texas A&M finishing my senior year, and maybe going somewhere else for graduate school..it was the only job opportunty she got..i originally told her i didn't want to date if she moved farther away; after much deliberation i decided to stay with her although she promised to move to where I am when her position ends; i'm still not sure if its the right chioce i made i guess I'll find out in a couple years
 
D1gger

D1gger

Diamond Member
Oct 3, 2004
5,411
2
76
I have been there and done that. 20 years ago I convinced my then gf to drop her career and move 2,000 miles away from her family so I could take a job I wanted. It was the worst decision we ever made. She has never forgiven me for losing her career aspirations, and I was burdened with a wife that wasn't satisfied with anything I tried to do.

Take my advice, you must do what is right for you and your career if that is important to you, but do not try to convince your GF to do anything against her desire, it will haunt you for the rest of your life.
 
O

Ornery

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
20,022
17
81
Find a job/career where you are. Her family is there, and probably yours too, right? She's settled in in her job/career, and is happy there. Having family nearby is HUGE. Why upset things if you don't have to?
 
S

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
You guys just have to split up.

You won't compromise and neither will she.

Happens all the time. So do what you gotta do.

Do you really wanna be with such a selfish woman who doesn't consider what is in the best interest of both of you instead of herself all the time? You guys aren't married so find another one.

-edit- If my SO wouldn't move with me then I'd be thinking very seriously about dumping her. I think you girl just showed her true colors and you should be seriously reevaluating if it should go on or not.
 
A

AntMan530

Senior member
Dec 22, 2000
769
0
0
we went far...now we're home....its so much nicer being around family....it makes everything easier....
 
S

Shame

Platinum Member
Dec 28, 2001
2,730
0
71
Originally posted by: CrackRabbit
Originally posted by: RyanSengara


Take a look at your argument, reverse it. Thats why she doesn't want to move, because she's probably in a job that will advance her career.

I don't think it's got anything to do with moving away from home..

So whats the problem here.

Edit: She's just a girlfriend man, you're not married. I'd NEVER ask my girlfriend to move with me if she didn't want to.
Click to expand...

That is the crux of the matter, with her current job she has advanced very quickly because she is good at what she does. But the company has a site in the Portland area that I am pretty sure she could transfer to with no problems, but she may not be able to keep her position, senority or respect she has earned here.
Click to expand...

They don't have strip clubs where your moving? :p
 
M

mercanucaribe

Banned
Oct 20, 2004
9,763
1
0
You say you don't want to give her the shaft, but you DO, or you wouldn't be trying to convince her of anything.
 
O

Ornery

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
20,022
17
81
Originally posted by: D1gger
Originally posted by: Anubis
Originally posted by: OrneryHaving family nearby is HUGE.
Click to expand...
i dissagree with that 100%, ideally id like a 12 hour (drive) buffer between myself and my parents
Click to expand...
You got that right!
Click to expand...
If you live near your parents, and don't want to see them, you don't have to. If your wife and kids live hundreds of miles from their parents/grandparents, and want to see them, it's a huge hassle. Women ALWAYS want to be near their parents and family.
 
E

effee

Golden Member
Sep 4, 2004
1,797
0
0
No matter what they say in the movies about not sacrificing your love life for your career.

Its not true.

Go for the job.
 
Anubis

Anubis

No Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
78,712
427
126
tbqhwy.com
Originally posted by: Ornery
Originally posted by: D1gger
Originally posted by: Anubis
Originally posted by: OrneryHaving family nearby is HUGE.
Click to expand...
i dissagree with that 100%, ideally id like a 12 hour (drive) buffer between myself and my parents
Click to expand...
You got that right!
Click to expand...
If you live near your parents, and don't want to see them, you don't have to. If your wife and kids live hundreds of miles from their parents/grandparents, and want to see them, it's a huge hassle. Women ALWAYS want to be near their parents and family.
Click to expand...

i grew up 5 hours from my dads nearest relative and 15 from my moms, its was glorious, both my parents liked it that way also
 
Rumpltzer

Rumpltzer

Diamond Member
Jun 7, 2003
4,815
33
91
Originally posted by: Ornery

  1. There are no positives, only negatives, especially at $2.50 per gallon now!
Click to expand...
If you search around, you can find $2.86 per gallon around here.

You can find girls in Portland who shave NOTHING. Is that not incentive enough to move and see if she follows??!

NOTHING.
 
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