How to be good Democrat

[Riprorin]

Someone e-mailed this to me. Not sure where it originated but I thought it was pretty funny.

How to be a good Democrat

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by
a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who
can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow
qualified to teach them about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of
law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S.
nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese
communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures
are less affected by cyclical documented changes in
the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies
driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are
artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment, but
support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create
oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care
about nature, but loony activists who've never been
outside of Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more
important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt
politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it
supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the
ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the
Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low,
but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and
Gloria Steinmen are more important to American
history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee
or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests
are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really
a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason
socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is
because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the
truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender
belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades
displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should
be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic
party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best
interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that this letter is part
of a vast right wing conspiracy

 

[datalink7]

How to be a good Republocrat:

1. Blame all of the country's problems on the Demublicans

 

[sciencetoy]

Ha, ha. Now I want to see the one about how to be a good republican . . .

 

[Quixfire]

The sad thing is most of that is true. And to add insult to injury, the Democrat Party is having an Identity crisis right now.

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

It appears I am not a good anything by that criteria. Bully for me!

 

[Stealth1024]

so true, so true...

 

[XZeroII]

too true

 

[UltraQuiet]

There's some truth to all of those except for 16 which was just a cheap shot.

 

[BDawg]

HOW TO BE A GOOD REPUBLICAN



1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.

4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.

5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.

6. You have to believe everything Rush Limbaugh says.

7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.

8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.

9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.

11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.

13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.

14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.

16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.

18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

 

[3L33T32003]

HOW TO BE A GOOD REPUBLICAN

You have to believe that affirmative action is wrong, unless you are talking about getting into an Ivy League school that your daddy attended.

You have to believe that when the Dems are in power, government cannot be trusted, but you can blindly follow a Republican leader.

You have to believe that the Iran-Contra investigation was a waste of time and money, but spending 70 million to uncover a blowjob was a worhtwhile adventure.

You have to believe that extramarital sex involving a Democrat is bad, but extramarital sex involving a Republican is ok.

You have to believe that conscientiously objecting the Viet Nam war was bad, but getting an undeserved deferrment or admittance into the Reserves is OK. And that it is ok to avoid serving during Nam and then expecting children other than your own to die for oil company interests.

EDIT:

OBTW...

Someone e-mailed this to me. Not sure where it originated but I thought it was pretty funny.

This is only about the 100th time that this has been posted on ATOT. It is old and tired, but it keeps making the rounds so that the blind faithful can have a good chuckle.

 

[dpm]

Hmm. you're all starting to make me think that To Be a Good Voter in America

1. You must be retarded

 

[docmanhattan]

Originally posted by: 3L33T32003

HOW TO BE A GOOD REPUBLICAN

You have to believe that affirmative action is wrong, unless you are talking about getting into an Ivy League school that your daddy attended.

You have to believe that when the Dems are in power, government cannot be trusted, but you can blindly follow a Republican leader.

You have to believe that the Iran-Contra investigation was a waste of time and money, but spending 70 million to uncover a blowjob was a worhtwhile adventure.

You have to believe that extramarital sex involving a Democrat is bad, but extramarital sex involving a Republican is ok.

You have to believe that conscientiously objecting the Viet Nam war was bad, but getting an undeserved deferrment or admittance into the Reserves is OK. And that it is ok to avoid serving during Nam and then expecting children other than your own to die for oil company interests.

EDIT:

OBTW...

Someone e-mailed this to me. Not sure where it originated but I thought it was pretty funny.

This is only about the 100th time that this has been posted on ATOT. It is old and tired, but it keeps making the rounds so that the blind faithful can have a good chuckle.

...because democrats aren't blind faithfull...

 

[docmanhattan]

the US really needs to get more political parties involved. the dem v. rep schtick is just getting dull and over played.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: BDawg
HOW TO BE A GOOD REPUBLICAN

1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.

4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.

5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.

6. You have to believe everything Rush Limbaugh says.

7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.

8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.

9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.

11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.

13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.

14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.

16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.

18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

See the difference between this and the first one, is that except for the cheap shot (you know, humor) with #16, all of them on the first list is true, whereas the Republican points here are just meaningless spite. Notice the few lines that mention God and Jesus - Democrats are just angry whiny babies, IMHO. Angry at God, the world, anyone that opposes their viewpoint... I mean look at #11, Liberals took Christianity out of schools, then force kids to pray to Allah for 3 weeks while wearing turbans and memorizing the Kuran. And that's the Republican's fault?

 

[Orsorum]

You have to believe that hunters don't care
about nature, but loony activists who've never been
outside of Seattle do.

I resent that remark...

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: BDawg

18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

My only question: should I give a fvck what a student with a disciplinary history and bad grades does? We are products of our own choices more than we are products of our environment.

 

[FeathersMcGraw]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

See the difference between this and the first one, is that except for the cheap shot (you know, humor) with #16, all of them on the first list is true.

If you really believe that, then I fear for the future of political debate and democracy.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: 3L33T32003


OBTW...

Someone e-mailed this to me. Not sure where it originated but I thought it was pretty funny.

This is only about the 100th time that this has been posted on ATOT. It is old and tired, but it keeps making the rounds so that the blind faithful can have a good chuckle.

I'd rather be a blind faithful than a deaf idealist.

 

[3L33T32003]

See the difference between this and the first one, is that except for the cheap shot (you know, humor) with #16, all of them on the first list is true, whereas the Republican points here are just meaningless spite. Notice the few lines that mention God and Jesus - Democrats are just angry whiny babies, IMHO. Angry at God, the world, anyone that opposes their viewpoint... I mean look at #11, Liberals took Christianity out of schools, then force kids to pray to Allah for 3 weeks while wearing turbans and memorizing the Kuran. And that's the Republican's fault?

Please, please list the mind altering drugs you take...so I know what to avoid if my shrink ever wants to prescribe them to me. I could refute every single line of that first post, but that would be lost on you or anyone else who could possibly find any truth in such propoganda.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: FeathersMcGraw

Originally posted by: SagaLore

See the difference between this and the first one, is that except for the cheap shot (you know, humor) with #16, all of them on the first list is true.

If you really believe that, then I fear for the future of political debate and democracy.

Just to be clear, I don't agree with the statements themselves, but rather that the Dem's believe it.

Just look at each line. It gives you a this but that, and every this and that reflects what I've observed the (political) democrats to stand for.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: 3L33T32003

See the difference between this and the first one, is that except for the cheap shot (you know, humor) with #16, all of them on the first list is true, whereas the Republican points here are just meaningless spite. Notice the few lines that mention God and Jesus - Democrats are just angry whiny babies, IMHO. Angry at God, the world, anyone that opposes their viewpoint... I mean look at #11, Liberals took Christianity out of schools, then force kids to pray to Allah for 3 weeks while wearing turbans and memorizing the Kuran. And that's the Republican's fault?

Please, please list the mind altering drugs you take...so I know what to avoid if my shrink ever wants to prescribe them to me. I could refute every single line of that first post, but that would be lost on you or anyone else who could possibly find any truth in such propoganda.

This from the person who parroted bullsh!t, mindless propaganda in the Estrada thread.

Oh, the irony...

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: 3L33T32003

See the difference between this and the first one, is that except for the cheap shot (you know, humor) with #16, all of them on the first list is true, whereas the Republican points here are just meaningless spite. Notice the few lines that mention God and Jesus - Democrats are just angry whiny babies, IMHO. Angry at God, the world, anyone that opposes their viewpoint... I mean look at #11, Liberals took Christianity out of schools, then force kids to pray to Allah for 3 weeks while wearing turbans and memorizing the Kuran. And that's the Republican's fault?

Please, please list the mind altering drugs you take...so I know what to avoid if my shrink ever wants to prescribe them to me. I could refute every single line of that first post, but that would be lost on you or anyone else who could possibly find any truth in such propoganda.

Drugs? I'm a nutritionalist. I stick with herbs. At least I'm not the one with a shrink. :Q

 

[FeathersMcGraw]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Just to be clear, I agree with the statements themselves, but rather that the Dem's believe it.

Just look at each line. It gives you a this but that, and every this and that reflects what I've observed the (political) democrats to stand for.

False correlation does not imply truth, and to assume that a political opponent subscribes directly to ideas clearly stated as parody is a great way to halt a reasoned debate before it starts.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: FeathersMcGraw

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Just to be clear, I agree with the statements themselves, but rather that the Dem's believe it.

Just look at each line. It gives you a this but that, and every this and that reflects what I've observed the (political) democrats to stand for.

False correlation does not imply truth, and to assume that a political opponent subscribes directly to ideas clearly stated as parody is a great way to halt a reasoned debate before it starts.

False correlation? You're right, but unfortunately there is no false correlation. But who's debating, can't you see we're just having a laugh at the democrat's expense?

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: Riprorin
Someone e-mailed this to me. Not sure where it originated but I thought it was pretty funny.

How to be a good Democrat

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by
a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who
can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow
qualified to teach them about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of
law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S.
nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese
communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures
are less affected by cyclical documented changes in
the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies
driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are
artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment, but
support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create
oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care
about nature, but loony activists who've never been
outside of Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more
important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt
politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it
supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the
ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the
Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low,
but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and
Gloria Steinmen are more important to American
history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee
or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests
are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really
a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason
socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is
because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the
truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender
belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades
displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should
be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic
party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best
interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that this letter is part
of a vast right wing conspiracy

The Republicans have taken a page out of French history with their use of Slander to demonize their opponents.Like the French of old, the Republican level so many ridiculous accusations at their opponents that the lesser educated , addle minded and the dumbounded started to belive that they were true..kind of like the dumbfounded single minded buffoons here who are ignorant enough to think that these lists are true. The Democrats do it too but aren't as succsessful because nobody believes them