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How should we handle this situation?

D

Damn Dirty Ape

Diamond Member
Ok, nice sticky situation..

Wife has a sister (divorced, 2 kids, 1 is 18, 1 is 23). We went to a concert last week and they had $10 lawn tickets for Lynyrd Skynyrd/38 Special and Bret Michaels. Wife calls up sister and asks her if she'd like her to get a ticket and then reimburse her. (sister doesn't get out a whole lot).

Sister says yes, can you get 3, I'd like to bring your niece and nephew. Ok so I wade through the scores of blankets and come back with 3 tickets. Said sister lives about 90 minutes away from where we live so we met her at a QuikTrip after the concert which was closer to her than us and she paid us back.

Now, sister has a complete total dirtball of a boyfriend, tattoos all over, nipple rings, druggy as he could possibly be, foul-mouthed, chainsmokes and you name it. They have been seeing each other for about 3 years, he lives with them, refuses to come to any family get-togethers. When wife's sister was in the hospital last year for 6 days w/ back surgery he was there during the surgery then took off and was not seen again until she came home. She has 1 car and he will routinely take the car and go out barhopping and leave her stranded.

Now obviously he's using her for all it's worth, he has no job, borrows money from her, smokes the house and car up even though she's quit smoking.

Today my wife gets an IM from her niece saying that mom is taking the boyfriend instead of her. She's all upset. Originally this dirtball had 'other things to do'. Would not have gotten more than 1 ticket had we known what was going to happen.

Wife's sister is looking forward to a great time with all of us during the concert.

Is there any way to make it pretty clear if he can't come to family functions and mistreats her as he does AND that the tickets were supposed to be for her 2 kids and her, that we'd rather he not be there?

None of the family likes him and he doesn't particularly care for us, as we're too 'uptight' for him.

it's always something.
 
You fail for going to a lynyrd skynyrd concert in the first place. Your sister's BF would fit right in there...you'd be the one who is out of place.
 
Tell the sister that you sold the tickets since she couldn't make it....then sell them or give them away and go enjoy the concert.
 
Damn Dirty Ape said:
thought has crossed my mind, but I want to once in my life see free bird done live and right.
Click to expand...

"Of [Lynyrd Skynyrd's] original members, only Gary Rossington remains with the band as of 2010."

404 Legit Free Bird Not Found.

P.S - I'm just joshing you, I'm sure it will be fun.

P.S.S - Choke that dude out and leave him unconscious and go to the concert.
 
Tea Bag said:
"Of [Lynyrd Skynyrd's] original members, only Gary Rossington remains with the band as of 2010."

404 Legit Free Bird Not Found.

P.S - I'm just joshing you, I'm sure it will be fun.

P.S.S - Choke that dude out and leave him unconscious and go to the concert.
Click to expand...

You're right though...it won't really be Lynrd Sknyrd...just a bunch of misc. musicians playing their music...using their name.

We saw The Marshall Tucker Band a few years back at the county fair. Only one original member of the group...and they sucked so badly that nowadays, if I hear their original music...I keep remembering the butcher job...and have to change the radio station. 🙁
 
shiner said:
Man up and tell him he is not welcome.
Click to expand...

and finally let him know why... that treatment is not acceptable in any culture...

You do not have to kiss your sister in laws ass anymore.. she sounds like a big girl who can appreciate a good bit of domestic abuse with her sex...

^^ meaning he is a real piece of shit by the sounds of things and until someone clearly tells him **politely so as not to be like him* that he is not wanted anywhere near the civilized part of the family he will continue to think those who accept him "accept" him
 
Well, the choice is simple as I see it (but hard):
  • Have a sit-down with your sister-in-law and say that the BF's behavior is intolerable and is unwelcome in your company. Quite possibly (and likely) if she's been with him for several years you've already had the talk with her.
  • Confronting the dude's not really going to do anything at this point: sounds like he's too much of a chode to really listen anyways. Think about it - even if you told him he's not welcome, what are you going to do if he shows up again? Call the police? Confronting the BF is really not your business IMO, but rather something to be handled by your sister-in-law IMO.
  • If she still decides to stick around with the guy, which unfortunately it sounds like it is the case - then you're going to have to shut all of them out of your family gatherings, if only to send a message to your sister-in-law. And obviously this is the last resort short of calling the cops on the BF for using drugs/whatever or even filing for the niece/nephew's custody.

It sounds like it's pretty clear-cut, but a terrible position to be in. I feel for ya man. 🙁
 
For the love of god, someone tries to get a little "real" advice and all he gets are replies that are so idiotic its no wonder you still live at home.

Its the blind leading the blind - get a clue and a road map before you reply just for the fact you want a higher post count.

Now for some real advice:

The real problem is not that your niece is unable to go to the concert, but rather the problem that your wife's sister has a boyfriend that adds up to nothing more than a pile of shit.

There is no need to confront him on this issue at all. So you can put the baseball bat away and stop worrying if you can beat his ass (violence does not resolve anything unless it ends in death and in that case leads to a whole new line of issues).

You and your wife need to sit down alone with her sister and talk over the "boyfriend" situation, just like you would do with your own kid.

Explain to her that he is not assisting her in life, but rather digging the whole for her inevitable demise. Explain how its leading to issue after issue and that it needs to stop. She has real flesh in blood she needs to concern herself with and stop

Once you break the glass with that nice opening line, bring in her kids and then go over the "current" situation. Make sure she gets that she just completely fucked over her own daughter just to get some more dick in her.

At the end of that have your backup plan for the concert ready, saying that you will be taking the kids to "dinner or movie, etc." so she can go on the new "date" - poor on the guilt.

After that, give her support and help her out of her whole. It is quite possible that she is so blinded by her so called "relationship" that she has no clue in hell of what is really going on.

People get wrapped in things and lose all perspective all the time.

Rinse, repeat - basically avoid the boyfriend and get rid of him be helping your sister-in-law unload his ass. If it does come down to violence, do the real thing and just call the cops and have someone who is paid to deal with this do it.

Before all you guys poor on "he is a pussy", this choice is reflecting back to a event that happened a while back when a close friend had his daughter shot by the bitch ass ex. - Be safe, no need to get your ass beat.
Click to expand...

End rant.
 
BoomerD said:
You're right though...it won't really be Lynrd Sknyrd...just a bunch of misc. musicians playing their music...using their name.

We saw The Marshall Tucker Band a few years back at the county fair. Only one original member of the group...and they sucked so badly that nowadays, if I hear their original music...I keep remembering the butcher job...and have to change the radio station. 🙁
Click to expand...
Even if all original band members showed up; we're talking a band and a song from the early 1970s... at least 35 years ago!

When was the last time Freebird could have been "done live and right"??
 
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