How old is too old to live with your parents?

[Fausto]

As a parent, I am going to say 13. That's about the age kids turn into douches.

I dunno, I've met some kids who seem to have been born into a perpetual state of douchiness.

 

[jiffylube1024]

It really depends on the situation. For children that are just mooching off their parents, yeah, some of them probably need tough love and to be kicked out. For people who don't know how to save and blow all of their income, they also probably need to learn some lessons.

Here in Toronto/Canada, it seems much more common for kids to keep on living with their parents at least temporarily in their mid and sometimes even late 20's. I'm 28 and currently rent; one of my friends from University who was living in Ottawa (a city about 3 hours north of Toronto; Ottawa is our Nation's capital, while Toronto is the province's capital - I know it's confusing) recently lost his job and has temporarily moved back in with his parents because rent here is very expensive (a typical place is $1000/month; the cheapest roach-infested place I moved into - and then out of - over a year ago was $700/month!) and housing is ridiculously expensive (small bungalos in the Toronto market go for $500-600K CDN and up! It is cheaper in the suburbs...).

One benefit of the housing market crash in the states is that housing is affordable in many places; we never even allowed sub prime mortgages here in Canada (and certainly didn't allow mortgages with 0% down) so housing prices have kept high.

 

[OverVolt]

Kids seem to have a different view of living at home than when I grew up. Today, "youts" are concerned with having a home/condo down payment or, completing school or, paying off the new car first.

In my day, parents started charging their kids rent after HS, owning your own home was a future dream and, anything that was paid for and moved under it's own power was a good car. Some parents paid for school but, it wasn't as common as it is today. So, if you were still at home a year after HS, people started to look at you funny.

You could also grab a blue collar job that paid enough to afford rent on an apartment. Now all those jobs are overseas.

 

[alkemyst]

It really depends on the situation. For children that are just mooching off their parents, yeah, some of them probably need tough love and to be kicked out. For people who don't know how to save and blow all of their income, they also probably need to learn some lessons.

Here in Toronto/Canada, it seems much more common for kids to keep on living with their parents at least temporarily in their mid and sometimes even late 20's. I'm 28 and currently rent; one of my friends from University who was living in Ottawa (a city about 3 hours north of Toronto; Ottawa is our Nation's capital, while Toronto is the province's capital - I know it's confusing) recently lost his job and has temporarily moved back in with his parents because rent here is very expensive (a typical place is $1000/month; the cheapest roach-infested place I moved into - and then out of - over a year ago was $700/month!) and housing is ridiculously expensive (small bungalos in the Toronto market go for $500-600K CDN and up! It is cheaper in the suburbs...).

One benefit of the housing market crash in the states is that housing is affordable in many places; we never even allowed sub prime mortgages here in Canada (and certainly didn't allow mortgages with 0% down) so housing prices have kept high.

You may want to read this:
http://www.rabble.ca/news/2009/10/canadas-sub-prime-mortgage-time-bomb

 

[pcgeek11]

You could also grab a blue collar job that paid enough to afford rent on an apartment. Now all those jobs are overseas.

I have to throw a bullshit flag on that play.

 

[pcgeek11]

One benefit of the housing market crash in the states is that housing is affordable in many places; we never even allowed sub prime mortgages here in Canada (and certainly didn't allow mortgages with 0% down) so housing prices have kept high.

You may want to read this:
http://www.rabble.ca/news/2009/10/canadas-sub-prime-mortgage-time-bomb

Owned!

Small quote from the link:

Ottawa: The biggest sub-prime lender in the world

But what few Canadians realize is that the housing market has avoided collapse (prices are down 32 per cent in the U.S.) because the Harper Conservatives directed the CMHC to change the mortgage rules to effectively make the Canadian government the biggest sub-prime lender in the world. What’s almost as alarming as this reckless policy is that no one in the financial media is talking about it, even though everyone knows the facts. I was alerted to the scandal by David Lepoidevin, a financial advisor with National Bank Financial, in a warning letter to his clients. (Blogger Jonathon Tonge has all the CMHC charts and graphs on his blog.)

 

[Mursilis]

"Living with" is a misleading term. IMHO, there should be no reason to be too old to "live with" your parents. Saves money for everyone (assuming you help pay bills) and you can help them out as they become older and less able to do things for themselves they were once able to do. Anywhere but in the Western world it is common to find these living arrangements because of those benefits. Unfortunately, we look at taking care of the elderly as a disdainful chore.

There is a problem though if you're "living off" your parents.

Words of wisdom.

 

[darkewaffle]

I think 22-30 is too broad. Probably like 22-25 is more on the "ok" side and past that not so much.

 

[DivideBYZero]

Almost 200 votes from perpetual basement dwellers.

 

[Fausto]

Almost 200 votes from perpetual basement dwellers.

OP has found the justification he was seeking.

 

[rcpratt]

Almost 200 votes from perpetual basement dwellers.

Not our fault that the OP fails at poll-making. I don't think there's anything wrong with being at home if you're 22 or 23 depending on the circumstances, but he rolled that in with the 22-30 range.

 

[Fausto]

...and tell your mom I want more waffles. I'd make them myself but I'm halfway through Zelda for the 12,504th time.

 

[Venix]

Its nonsense to characterize anyone living at home as "mooching", latecomers to adulthood, sacrificing self-respect etc... While I lived at home, I carried my own weight, paid bills and even helped care for elderly grandparents and my sister. I was always grateful that my parents allowed me this opportunity to save money and advance further than my peers. Hearing how slowly friends of mine saved money vs myself bankrolling paychecks for a future house purchase should have had me kissing my father's feet for what he did for me. Where my family comes from, this is common-place and in no way reflects poorly on a man's or even a family's status, dignity or self-respect. To have kids and let them loose at a young age, with no help (especially when parents are capable of helping), is disgraceful. And, families who raise lazy kids that take advantage of parent's love and help with no plan to grow up; they are both disgraced. I believe there is nothing wrong with families helping their kids, as long as the kids understand the good deal they are receiving and accordingly act and reciprocate back to the parents (which IMO is a sign of maturity and proof of adulthood status on the part of the children). There is absolutely no room for bums or moochers in this situation. Those are the ones getting the boot at 18.

While your accomplishments are admirable, especially for the age you achieved them, yes you probably could have been more successful if you had more backing from your parents. I don't know your situation, but that's my guess.

"Carrying your own weight" means supporting yourself. If you paid your fair share of living expenses, your situation was no different than living with roommates. Why would you kiss your father's feet for giving you an opportunity that's no better than renting an apartment with some guys from Craigslist?

But of course that's not what happened. Your parents were paying the vast majority of your living expenses, and while you may have contributed something, you were still a dependent. I started paying for my own clothing, lunch and transportation when I was 16, but that didn't make me an adult, just a more responsible child. Adulthood requires more than just reaching a magical age and getting a job.

For many people, making your own way in life is more important than maximizing financial gain. Traditional life achievements like buying a home just aren't much of an accomplishment when they're subsidized by other people.

 

[AMDZen]

Your ranges are too broad, but I'd say 24-26 is too old.

 

[Heller]

Im so glad i left at 17, my parents wanted me to stay and help pay bills with them but there batshit crazy, i knew by 16 i had to gtfo, I'm very happy living by myself and being independent(with the help from the government for schooling)

 

[FelixDeCat]

Your ranges are too broad, but I'd say 24-26 is too old.

If I get one more complaint about my glorious, ingenious and essential thread because of the poll, Im going to be crestfallen!

The poll options were limited to only four when I created it.

 

[HAL9000]

If I get one more complaint about my glorious, ingenious and essential thread because of the poll, Im going to be crestfallen!

The poll options were limited to only four when I created it.

The poll is too broad.

 

[darkewaffle]

If I get one more complaint about my glorious, ingenious and essential thread because of the poll, Im going to be crestfallen!

The poll options were limited to only four when I created it.

And you should feel terrible about it.

 

[FelixDeCat]

The poll is too broad.

I wasnt trying to differentiate between broads and dudes, but that would be an interesting twist on the topic.

 

[dpodblood]

Like a lot of people have said it's entirely dependent on the situation. If you are saving money while getting through college, or just out of college saving up some money to get a head start that's great. If you are mooching off your parent(s), sitting at home jobless, and not contributing anything then than is unacceptable. There can be no hard and fast rule, but I will say this; if you are not out by 30 you better have a damn good reason, like your parents are ill and you are helping to take care of them.

Personally I lived at home for a year after graduating high school, and worked to save up money for college. I also paid a small amount of rent during this time. The following year I moved out, and only returned for 3 months during the summer. Since then I have been completely independent. I'm currently living in an apartment with my GF, and don't think I could ever go back to living at home, or even with roommates for that matter.

 

[dpodblood]

Oh an may I add:

What an epic troll battle! That was my entertainment for the morning. :thumbsup:

 

[BW86]

I'm 24 and still living at home. I wish I could afford an apartment, but Long Island is so expensive its ridiculous. I'm honestly waiting for my gf to finish grad school then we'll look for apartments.

 

[FelixDeCat]

I'm 24 and still living at home. I wish I could afford an apartment, but Long Island is so expensive its ridiculous. I'm honestly waiting for my gf to finish grad school then we'll look for apartments.

Dont worry, nobody cares if you live at home the rest of your life. Frankly it makes more sense than being forced to buy somebody else's overpriced roach infested shack for $600k+ (which they paid $150k for just 10 years ago).

 

[NetWareHead]

"Carrying your own weight" means supporting yourself. If you paid your fair share of living expenses, your situation was no different than living with roommates. Why would you kiss your father's feet for giving you an opportunity that's no better than renting an apartment with some guys from Craigslist?

But of course that's not what happened. Your parents were paying the vast majority of your living expenses, and while you may have contributed something, you were still a dependent. I started paying for my own clothing, lunch and transportation when I was 16, but that didn't make me an adult, just a more responsible child. Adulthood requires more than just reaching a magical age and getting a job.

For many people, making your own way in life is more important than maximizing financial gain. Traditional life achievements like buying a home just aren't much of an accomplishment when they're subsidized by other people.

You call it "subsidizing" and where I come from it is called help. You subsidize people you do business with in order to achieve a goal of your own; somewhere down the line you will recoup the subsidy cost in one way or another, much like an investment. My father selflessly helped us, not to gain anything in return but rather out of pure love and concern for his children.

This is how the wealth and hard efforts of a previous generation help the next at the hardest stages in their adult lives: the beginning. Why should the next generation have to start from scratch when they have a potentially powerful backer who can elevate them further? My dad worked hard to get to where he is now and is sitting comfortably. He could not stand idly by and watch his children have to work as hard and painstakingly save like he did when he first came to this country. He gave us all vital help to advance faster and further. This is one of the many reasons my sister and I honor and appreciate our father for his ongoing sacrifices and concerns for us. Hopefully, if I have kids, I want to help him/her/them more than my father did for my sister and I. I would be proud if my son can buy a house at an earlier age than I did.

There is no shame or pride issues in accepting help like this from your own flesh and blood. That's the reason you are family, to pool together, trust, help and rely on one another. To be proud of your own. And I have had this discussion with many American born ppl and they don't get it. Europeans, Indians, Asians and other foreigners do understand without all of this explaining.

 

[Venix]

You call it "subsidizing" and where I come from it is called help. You subsidize people you do business with in order to achieve a goal of your own; somewhere down the line you will recoup the subsidy cost in one way or another, much like an investment. My father selflessly helped us, not to gain anything in return but rather out of pure love and concern for his children.

This is how the wealth and hard efforts of a previous generation help the next at the hardest stages in their adult lives: the beginning. Why should the next generation have to start from scratch when they have a potentially powerful backer who can elevate them further? My dad worked hard to get to where he is now and is sitting comfortably. He could not stand idly by and watch his children have to work as hard and painstakingly save like he did when he first came to this country. He gave us all vital help to advance faster and further. This is one of the many reasons my sister and I honor and appreciate our father for his ongoing sacrifices and concerns for us. Hopefully, if I have kids, I want to help him/her/them more than my father did for my sister and I. I would be proud if my son can buy a house at an earlier age than I did.

There is no shame or pride issues in accepting help like this from your own flesh and blood. That's the reason you are family, to pool together, trust, help and rely on one another. To be proud of your own. And I have had this discussion with many American born ppl and they don't get it. Europeans, Indians, Asians and other foreigners do understand without all of this explaining.

You can call it whatever you want. All I'm saying is that you either "carried your own weight" or were supported by your parents; the two are mutually exclusive. You cannot simultaneously be dependent and independent.

Whether or not you feel ashamed of living on your parents' dime for so long is your own business. I don't necessarily think it's something worthy of shame, but insisting that you can be an independent, fully functioning adult while living like a child is just silly. Personally, I prefer knowing that all my accomplishments are due to my own hard work.