I honestly have trouble believing that.
Perhaps you lack faith?

. There is a point when one realizes how meaningless everything is. As far as I can tell, there are certain options available to people today who seek to make something of their lives or who are cursed and blessed with a rarefied intellect. They can pursue a path of science and rationality. These people continually have to face meaninglessness. These people confront their own selves as they are alone and go through life like this. With meaninglessness/rationality some have attempted to solve the problem with egoism, Objectivism, empiricism, pragematism, consumerism and consumptionism, the cult of individualism, group-think, unity, existentialism, and all sorts of attempts right up to absurdism. But at the end of it all, even with laughter and laughing in the face of everything and finding joy in everything, one still wants to commit suicide. Every day when I wake up the first thought that comes to mind is, "should I kill myself today"? The ensuing thought is "today is a gift" and "God, you are my God, I know no other". The other large option I think that is available is faith. Faith requires an abandoning of reason. Of course theists would claim that that's the point of faith, that is is somehow above reason and that this gives them divine mandate or authority. I don't exactly subscribe to that. Through this, life has a meaning. We have purpose, we have salvation, we are human beings with goals, with structure and order, with society, and with culture. We have God. We are children, there is the possibility of a life beyond or a better time. There is hope and joy and prayer and worship. There is great knowledge gained through the humble pursuit of one's spiritual path. There is so much happiness and mirth that I am sometimes lost thrown into ecstasies experiencing that aspect of being human. This is faith.
Faith has been the solution to many problems. Some people say that this is the only solution, that meaning is found in faith. And of course the atheists go right in and say that the ones who have faith are sheep and so are illogical and abandon reason. After all, it is repugnant to associate myself with someone who cannot even hold a decent conversation. Why societies are built on this. We must have reason they cry. They disprove and prove and debate and argue. And I experience that aspect of humanity and there is much tension and much grief possible there. So much separation and so much dislike. Words hurt.
And then once in awhile, a crazy guy shows up who doesn't have faith and doesn't have meaninglessness. You ask him if he believes in God and the response is "what is God". You ask him "why is there something rather than nothing" and he says "I am". The theist, perplexed, says "look I have twelve proofs about God and God's existence" and goes about proving that God exists. The atheist goes about and says "no, you're wrong, these are irrational". The agnostic sits, unwilling to commit and simply engaging in religious window-shopping instead of starting a crazy project like Noah and says, "I don't know, let's look into it" and looks into it for a long, long, long, long time trying to find ample proof. And so all three are perplexed and they keep asking why and keep looking. They ask "why" of the crazy man and the crazy man points outside and says "you fools, you've just missed God, He passed by here in a flash mumbling about some meeting". The atheists laughs, mocking the crazy man. The theist weeps and prays. The agnostic ponders and asks questions. The crazy man lowers his hand and says, "I am".
The crazy man here is linuxboy. I say all is joy because all is joy. I have faith. I am faithless. I stand on the sidelines, I throw myself into crazy projects. How much joy? JOY ! Rejoice, humans, God is.
Faith creates meaning. Faithlessness creates a lack of meaning. Meaningless meaninglessness creates thoughfulness. Isness and existentialism creates responsibility in the face of an empty universe. Creating meaning out of life is making meaning. Destroying meaning creates destruction of meaning. Joy, all is joy.
Is this an ideology? In a different situation, I would have likely said something that contradicts one of my ideas here. An ideology of paradoxes and contradictions is not exactly an ideology, unless that's the real point.
You express your attitude but not the beliefs that cause it? Come come, Pav, give us more than that!
Kay.
I talked here about how I understand the world and the three hard lessons I had to learn in life and that are with me when I wake up and when I lie down to sleep. namely, "should I kill myself? Today is a gift. God you are my God, I know no other" If I have beliefs, those could be beliefs, although it's not exactly the words that make a difference.
The theist asks why. With her proofs, she still asks why. The atheist ask why as well. The agnostic asks why and hunts for the whys feverishly. Do I ask why? No, I don't ask. I don't believe strictly in the normal sense, Paige. I know. (though I suppose one could say I believe as some have... but some have called me a heathen so go figure) Rejoice !
Cheers !
