Q: How many neoliberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Twenty. Two to argue that the market forces will naturally replace it, four others to dispute with them about the need of freeing the lightbulbs from oppressive government controls and fourteen to hold an improvised party. In the end the lightbulb is still unchanged.
Q: How many bunkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, screwing is done on the floor.
Q: How many ageists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, the gerk deserved to terminate
Q: How many Age of Mayhem members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to put together a lightbulb bomb, and a dupe to put it in while the other plans to enlighten him.
Q: How many PRC bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five million: the problem has to be duly reported, analyzed, sent to the departments of energy, infrastructure, industrial manufacturing, safety and labour, archived, budgeted and in the end forgotten because nobody wants to actually do it -- the PLA might shoot you for it.
Q: How many PLA does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. The ranking officer orders one of his men to acquire a lightbulb and install it, and the other soldier is sent to purge the bureaucrats responsible for the malfunction.
Q: How many US bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to screw in the lightbulb, and four to accuse him of unconstitutional behavior.
Q: How many EU bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One: "Are the PRC or US doing it? If no, then we are conserving energy for future generations. If they are screwing in lightbulbs, send in the work brigades -- with our superior organization we will be finished much earlier if we use a thousand workers."
Q: How many Green Nation does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None -- electricity is bad for you. Use a candle.
Q: How many transhumanists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, their enhanced eyes can see IR.
Q: How many Interfacers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: How much are you willing to pay?
Q: How many cypherpunks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two or more -- it's authentification has to be doublechecked with as many trusted parties as possible before installation.
Q: How many biohackers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: They have glowing mice instead.
Q: How many nanohackers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but he has to simulate it on a supercomputer network first.
Q: How many droners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but it takes all of his twenty robots to do it.
Q: How many AIs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: "Silly human, just copy the backup"
THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2002
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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