How many 5 year olds could you fight at once?

[SpunkyJones]

I have a four year old daughter, she head butted me in the jewels once by accident. She won. I ain't fighting no 5 year olds.

 

[Agentbolt]

Oh for God's sake, it's a hypothetical question Jules. I'm not talking about beating up YOUR five year old. Unbunch your panties. If it makes you feel any better, if your kid was involved he's probably the one I would pick up by the legs to hit the other ones with. That makes him the best one.

 

[broon]

You guys are frosting wimps. I like a good quarter inch of frosting on my cake. But only if it's the homemade kind or out of a jar. None of that crap that they put on sheet cakes. If it's chocolate frosting, it can be equal parts cake and frosting.

 

[bunnyfubbles]

yes, the situation isn't spelled out well enough.

If you're enclosed in box with nowhere to escape to, and the walls are confining enough to take away tactics such as running away and then taking out the kids as they catch up, then the answer is going to be very different.

If it is out in the open and anywhere you choose, you could very well run away from them and get to something such as a staircase and stand at the top of the stairs (or any high ground with limited access) and simply play an unstoppable king of the hill.

 

[Agentbolt]

yes, the situation isn't spelled out well enough.

I said you're in a gym. How much more do I need to spell out the location? It's a normal sized freaking gym.

 

[FoBoT]

are the 5 year olds coverd in frosting? or do they just have cakes on their heads?

 

[AMCRambler]

Originally posted by: Agentbolt

yes, the situation isn't spelled out well enough.

I said you're in a gym. How much more do I need to spell out the location? It's a normal sized freaking gym.

So there are blunt objects around to beat them with like bar bells. The thing is, 5 year olds aren't normally very aggressive. If we are talking your average run of the mill 5 year old and lets say he/he is enraged because we turned off Barney while they were watching it, then probably like 40-50. You smack a 5 year old who is pissed, he/she will immediately forget whatever they were made about and start crying.
Now if these are brain washed, psychotic 5 year olds hopped up on methamphetamines that will be feeling no pain and will just keep coming at you so that you'd need to incapacitate them to knock them outta the fight then I'd say maybe 15-20.

 

[ultimatebob]

This question again?

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: AMCRambler
Now if these are brain washed, psychotic 5 year olds hopped up on methamphetamines that will be feeling no pain and will just keep coming at you so that you'd need to incapacitate them to knock them outta the fight then I'd say maybe 15-20.

i think he said they had lasers in their eyeballs


like sharks with lasers on their heads, except these are 5 year old kids with lasers in their eyeballs

 

[broon]

Originally posted by: FoBoT

Originally posted by: AMCRambler
Now if these are brain washed, psychotic 5 year olds hopped up on methamphetamines that will be feeling no pain and will just keep coming at you so that you'd need to incapacitate them to knock them outta the fight then I'd say maybe 15-20.

i think he said they had lasers in their eyeballs


like sharks with lasers on their heads, except these are 5 year old kids with lasers in their eyeballs

But what is their frosting preference? That will make a world of difference.

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: AMCRambler

Originally posted by: Agentbolt

yes, the situation isn't spelled out well enough.

I said you're in a gym. How much more do I need to spell out the location? It's a normal sized freaking gym.

So there are blunt objects around to beat them with like bar bells. The thing is, 5 year olds aren't normally very aggressive. If we are talking your average run of the mill 5 year old and lets say he/he is enraged because we turned off Barney while they were watching it, then probably like 40-50. You smack a 5 year old who is pissed, he/she will immediately forget whatever they were made about and start crying.
Now if these are brain washed, psychotic 5 year olds hopped up on methamphetamines that will be feeling no pain and will just keep coming at you so that you'd need to incapacitate them to knock them outta the fight then I'd say maybe 15-20.

Are you serious? All of my kids were aggressive by the age of 5. That's when they really like to wrestle and punch you and each other.

 

[Agentbolt]

So there are blunt objects around to beat them with like bar bells.

No! There's no weapons available, the gym is empty! Read the OP!

And yeah, I guess for some reason I thought this scenario was like, original. Guess not, sorry.

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: waggy
it really depends if am in a tank.

And the children are Chinese, and come in waves of 10,000? Would you be an Abrams or a Merkava?

Wait, what was that about frosting?

 

[theprodigalrebel]

You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear

 

[alchemize]

Interesting topic. Is there a time limit? Is this a fight to the death?

I think it would take them a couple of and hours to actually kill you. If you curled up in a ball and covered your face, all they could do is leave a lot of bruises on you. Even if they were biting you, I don't think they could draw enough blood to kill you. I would say with a time limit of say less than 2 hours, infinite number. To the death, it would probably take a full 16 hours.

Their best bet would be to try and smother you, even if it meant killing a whole bunch of their own to get a pile of bodies on you.

 

[Phokus]

take 1 5 year old by the feet, start swinging around like a tazmanian devil and all of a sudden you become a 360 degree tornado of death

 

[DougK62]

As long as you can stay moving in the room you'll be fine. Run around a bit, punching them in the head as you go. One hit should take each one out. The minute you stop moving you'll be swarmed and they'll overwhelm even large, buff adults.

 

[Agentbolt]

One hit should take each one out.

I'm really not sure I agree. Not all five year olds are going to go down with one punch.

 

[TheNinja]

Originally posted by: Phokus
take 1 5 year old by the feet, start swinging around like a tazmanian devil and all of a sudden you become a 360 degree tornado of death

That would take far too much energy and would kill your stamina. You'd be better off running and punching or kicking. Although the sheer powerful display of a 360 vortex of death might cause the rest of them to get scared.

 

[Agentbolt]

Although the sheer powerful display of a 360 vortex of death might cause the rest of them to get scared.

They are normal 5 year olds in every way except they are immune to fear. I'm pretty sure I wrote this. I'm questioning you guy's commitment to reading OPs before replying.

 

[Josh]

Find the biggest one in the room go after him take him out immediately and use him as a weapon and use my legs as well to kick as hard as I can at anyone coming at my midsection.

I could take 50 at least, even maybe without the weapon idea I could probably take 50. I box so I assume my fists are fairly strong, one punch from me I would think would knock one out eaisly. I would just be throwing haymakers....this is sick

 

[tyler811]

Originally posted by: Anubis
alot, take the first one down with 1 good kick or punch, and then use him like a bat

:Q


Swing him around like a dead cat. Oh my goodness I busted out laughing when I read this Anubis

 

[Alistar7]

I could fight an amount > bulk.

 

[HannibalX]

Say 200-300? Maybe more.

Consider that you could knock out/kill your average 5 year old with not even half of your punching power it really could go on as long as you had energy to fight.

Eventually the bodies would pile up around you though and you would have to stay on the move.

 

[classy]

Originally posted by: Anubis
alot, take the first one down with 1 good kick or punch, and then use him like a bat

I take it your a Matrix fan