how long would/should you wait?

pontifex

Lifer
Dec 5, 2000
43,806
46
91
i know this girl that is getting divorced and i've been attracted to her for awhile. how long would you wait after the divorce to try to hook up?
 

monk3y

Lifer
Jun 12, 2001
12,699
0
76
Wait until she doesn't talk about the divorce all the time. *shrug* I really don't know but that seems reasonable to me :p
 

krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
0
Originally posted by: pontifex
i know this girl that is getting divorced and i've been attracted to her for awhile. how long would you wait after the divorce to try to hook up?


Um, Im not sure really. Just make a presence and give her enough time. I think you'll know when she's ready, although I dont think it will be within 6 months.
 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,389
1,778
126
It depends on whether or not she's the one wanting the divorce or not. Women tend to go through a single phase after divorce....it's like a man-hating phase they need to go through until they get lonely.

You might as well ask her out for a drink just to talk, but don't press your luck until you know what she wants. Chances are it will be a while before she'll want to be serious again.

 

freakflag

Diamond Member
Mar 22, 2001
3,951
1
71
If she's breaking up with your best friend, she's breaking up with YOU. Period.

I love those commercials. BTW.....wait? Why?
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,529
3
76
Originally posted by: Sentinel
She is going to use you for a rebound or welcome to friend-zone.

Hell yeah; rebound sex FTW!!!! That's all he's interested in anyway, right?

Recent divorcees are dangerous, for YOU, mentally to be heavily involved with. (Ask me how I know :eek:) They WILL drag you into their horrible little world of divorcee decrees and GOD HELP YOU if they have kids. She will make YOU answer the door when her ex comes over on Friday night to get the little heathens.

Hit it, but be distant. She WILL fall in love with you right off the bat if you're caring and there for her. You do NOT want this.
 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
25,061
3,410
126
It varies tremendously from person to person.

For me, the decision to get a divorce took ~4 years. The last year was mostly me convincing myself that an unattractive computer nerd could find someone else even remotely as good as the ex (looks exactly like Jennifer Love Hewitt) and had a near perfect personality match to me. I thought it was impossible. So I stretched out a failed relationship for years longer than I should.

By the time I finally convinced myself to take that divorce leap, I was ready to get rid of my ex. I had no feelings at all for her. Heck, I was pretty much over with the feelings of anger too. I filed for divorce, and met my current GF within a week. I wasn't after a rebound either. However, I didn't let myself date. I wanted the ex to first move out and the divorce to be mostly finalized. I met my current GF again 2 months later (this was the next time we saw each other) and asked her out. We started dating a couple weeks before the divorce was finalized, but my GF was cool with that. Things have been pefect for a year now.

So basically, I was ready immediately but didn't let myself date for 2 months. I would really worry about someone if he/she still had feelings for the ex or who was still in the anger period, or who is looking for a rebound. Those people may need another year.
 

Kyanzes

Golden Member
Aug 26, 2005
1,082
0
76
Originally posted by: pontifex
i know this girl that is getting divorced and i've been attracted to her for awhile. how long would you wait after the divorce to try to hook up?

Wait till she leaves the court room.