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How good of a friend are you?

S

SuperGroove

Diamond Member
This happens to me all too often. Anyways...let me tell how things usually go. I usually ask my pals to do something the same day. I don't like to plan things way out in advance, and usually if they agree to doing something without much notice, well I would think they'd stick to it.

My friends are all about being as popular as they can. Just the last month, my friend grew out some sideburns...and the last time we met, he was "too cool" to talk to us, and too STINGY to help out with the tip at the restaraunt and yells at me for not paying for it. Then we went to go play basketball that night, I had made a play where I stuffed him. I do this all the time. However, he tries to put in a cheap shot whenever he can to get back at me. Well he finally did get back at me, and tripped me while I was running. I went down hard, and he got back up, and started laughing as he ran away.

I don't hang out with this guy anymore, because I gave him a huge ego when he was down, saying he was so cool, and didn't need a certain girl when she rejected him. Its inflated, and he goes so far as to mock me in front of people who can make him more popular.

My other friend met a girl online. I asked him to do something tonight, and he agreed. Well I just wanted to confirm things for the night, and he told me he might do something tonight. Well, I told him to call me back anyhoo, before I left, which would be seven. Well I waited past that cause I didn't want to get him made. I missed the movie, and had to settle for another one. I tried to be cool, but my anger got the best of me, and I asked him what he had to do that would make him back out of tonight. He said he met this girl online and she agreed to meet him. She said she couldn't. Well, okay, that's fine with me, until he tries and justifies it. He said he felt bad because he didn't end up doing anything. WTF?! Then I tell him, that's why you feel bad? He goes, don't do this to me. WTF...why kind of answer is that. Selfish answer. Whenever I go out with the guys, my friend Pablo is the most popular guy at school. Well, it doesn't take more than a second for my "good friend" to ditch me like that and, stop talking to me for the night.

However, when all goes bad, and they can't take anymore, and they resort to calling themselves losers...who do they come to? It's always about them them them. This e-mail is about me me me...but I usually try to reserve my bitchiness when it comes to matters like this.

Do I have sh*tty friends? I mean, whenever I am in need of money...do they ever lend it to me? No. However, since I work at a Cleaners, I always hear, "Come on man...I do so much for you, I thought we were friends. Can't you clean this for me just once?". All is fine if it's a small order...but a tuxedo? A leather jacket? Sigh...

I've also got this friend who only is friends with me because, well it makes him happy. I'm happy he's happy...however I can't call the guy a good friend. I mean...I'm only friends with him because he's gone through 4 dads. He's also very fragile emotionally. So he's always around me, going to the bathroom with me, sitting by me, yelling my name through the halls, cutting a guy off so he can sit by me at lunch. Sigh...

I've got some messed up friends. Maybe once I'd like to be listened to...or at least acknowledged as a friend.

Everybody needsa friend. Just not a sh*tty one.

Why oh why do I feel like I'm going to hear, "Suck it up, real men can hack it out, you p*ssy."?

Paul
 
I wont tell you to suck it up..I would tell you to find some new friends. ow old are you by the way? if these are high schoolers, then dont sweat em..move on.
 
Sigh, I know. Girlfriends aren't much better. For some odd reason they don't want to be seen with me when, "Mr. Quarterback" comes walking by. I mean it's cool they listen, but they're so deceptive. They've got the ability to seem like they're listening just as well as men. So when I yap yap yap, they think, "When will he shut up...it's distracting me...must get back to thinking about that N'Sync concert!"

Paul
 
"Suck it up, real men can hack it out, you p*ssy"

yeah there's my 2 cents... aw shi+ you already called that one!!!! @#*&#

but you are right. People, and especially friends, can be scum. Sounds like recently you have had some hard cases. That internet girl thing must have felt bad. I hate it when friends call off doing things to do stuff on the internet instead. The key to friendship has always been onestep ahead of me. I try to do the best with what I have at my fingertips and survive with friends more or less. Gl with finding people who want more than your wallet....
 
Friends are agood thing...I mean we all rank on each other for not getting out enough, and spending too much time here. What am I gonna do without friends? Go to dinner by myself. That's so degrading. Go out partying by myself...degrading...go to movies by myself...whoa that sucks...and hangin out by mysle...well I can do that. I can hang out with myself for the longest of times, but I feel like I have obligations to my "friends".

Paul
 

true freinds are the people who stick with you through the $hit, whether they are an a$$hole the rest of the time is a factor of the individual's personality.
 
With true friends your "obligations" don't seem that way because you will both enjoy doing for each other and you will not want to disappoint each other.
In short, off ?em.
I don?t mean kill them, but just don?t associate with them anymore. 🙂
They are creeps and users. When you get older this type will be easier to spot.

Jimbo
 
SuperGroove: I hear what you are saying. I only have one really good friend that I consider a true friend, he's a really nice guy. On the other hand, one of my former friends, who I now call an acquaintance only calls me when he wants something. We used to be close, then he got into a relationship with a raving bitch of a girl (none of our friends like her), now we never talk. He would only call me when he had a problem with his computer or needed something else.

Just the other day one of our mutual friend's brother, who I haven't seen a few years, came over to my house to get my address to send me an invitation to his wedding. He said he had first asked the friend I was talking about above for my phone number and that friend told him he didn't know my number anymore! I have known the guy for 10 years, and now he just up and forgot my number because he can't hang with his friends because he has a relationship? I bet he'd figure out my number real quick if he needed Windows 98 reinstalled on his computer. I could go on and on about the garbage this guy has done since his relationship started, but I won't bore you guys.
 
remember, you have many acquaintances, and only a few true friends. I consider my friends almost as close as family (there's only a few, less than I could count on one hand...). Just a thought
 
SG,
It sounds like those people are using you for a door mat. Personally, I have only a few friends, but a lot of acquaintances (sp?). The friends I do have will bend over backwards to help out and you'd do likewise. I'd rather have a small number of people you can depend on as opposed to minions of fair-weather friends.

 
i have no real friends... well one, whom i've known for years, but we were never that close.

i have lots of acquaintances... no chums...
 
Flakes, that is what they are .. They are not dedicated to plan a event or date... They are impulsive, they cant decide what they want .
I.E. Neurotic or Character flawed.. It is a tough a life.
I have prolly 5 good friends that I can trust totally, as far as money and spending goes .. Every weekend we go out there is no bickering on the dining /bar/greens fees/bills...I have learned who real friends are...
 

take advantage of them also man!!! It sounds to me they treat you like this because they see you as an easy hookup. You know the nice guy that almost always does what they ask. What you have to do is assert yourself man. I really mean it. Be impetuious once in a while, don't plan everything. Remeber you don't always have to be the shoulder to be cried on, your a person, your young, you should do what you want when you want. Next time you want to ask them a favor and they say no, just remind them of all the times you hooked them up. Then they might go..."oh your going there huh"? And simply say "Yeah I'm going there". No rant, no bitching just say "Yup". Right now they don't see you as an equal. They just see you as someone to take advantage of. And that isn't right man, reassurt yourself. Take your stand now.
 
i cant imagine life without really good friends =[ i mean acquaintances are just waiting for their turn to talk
 
naw wut u said was straight from the heart it was dope. yea, fake friends suck tremendous balls. if they do shiet like that u should ditch em and diss em. of course no matter how good of friends u got, they will always annoy u , or anger u. guess u just got to work it out and stuff. i got the MOST hate for people's WEAKassed attepts to become the POPULAR kid. damn i swear, why can't people just chill sometimes. their effort can be spent somewhere else doin somethin mor productive. they try too much to be in the IN crowd.i actualy see this in college to(thought it was only hs). i also disrespect in general people with the most stupid attitudes, and the stupid actions they take.

For ME, I'd rather be the guy chillin in a parking lot drinkin beer and kicking it with friends, than the suposedly fake "cool guy" who will be out at some fancy restaurant with some silly trickedout fake hoes who dont know better. oh yea, sumtimes people CARE to much about the most stupidest shiet.

um heh i think im gettin off the topic, but im right!
 
A good friend won't tell anyone when you kill somebody.

A REALLY close friend will help you kill somebody.

Trust me. I know.
🙂

Just kidding.
Really.
🙂
 
Supergroove

Yeah it sounds like your friends need some lessons. BUT I have a friend who sounds a bit like you - well I'm not saying he is, its hard to tell from your post, but here is how he is...well actually no what he would think of me is probabaly what you think of your current friends, so maybe I can offer some perspective from the other side.

----

I met this guy at work 5 months ago or whatever, we've started doing things like playing paintball and stuff like that, but anytime you make a plan with him - even a very tentative one he gets all bi*chy when u break it. By tentative I mean something like "Ok, I will aim for paintball on sunday", then on fri/sat I may say "damn, it doesn't look good for paintball on sunday, I prolly can't go", then I'll find like 2 messages on my answering machine sunday morning, then him bitching at me when I don't return his calls. You know why I don't return them all the time? Because i'm not his Bi*ch. If he wants to treat his gf like this thats fine, but you don't treat other guys like this. Yes you return a person's call, but if I do he'll just be like "Man, are you even serious about paintball at all? I just can't count on you anymore, I'm getting really tired of this." Man the guy is SO frigging uptight, and he complains about his other friends, so I imagine he does the same with me. He is just so damn un-laid back I'm really tiring of his company now, and beginning to close things off a bit, I just can't stomach it anymore. I think sometimes I half lead him on, because he acts like such a whiney B*tch when something doesn't pan out. He is 29, I'm 22. I feel more mature than him, go figure!

If I say I _will_ be around for something I will be. If not I'll cancel it with good reason - that doesn't mean I can suddenly get the "yeah yeah more excuses, all you ever do is give excuses" treatment. Jesus, I get enough of that from my girlfriend 😎

Brooks
 
Brooks,

Oh no...I don't make plans like that. I mean, I was only mad because he'd rather go out with a gal he met online, through AOL. I mean,those things never work out...right? So he'd rather see a 19/F/Colorado than me, his friend that has always been there for him. I've seen him cry, I've seen him pissed off, I've seen him lonely...I've seen it all, and all I am to him is a number. As in, the number of friends he's got to brag to everyone else. Well that's how I feel anyways.

If someone cancels something, they don't really need to have a reason. I mean, I back out of things all the time, if I'm sick, or just don't plain feel like doing it. I'd only be a hypocrite if I got mad at someone for the same reason. It's the trivial things like AOL girl, I wanna hang out with the popular dudes...or "I have to wait by the phone, I think this girl from my work might call me"...you know the drill.

Paul

 
Yeah I see what you're saying 😛 Hanging out with the "popular dudes" is very lame, I can't stand people who do that, in an attempt to make themselves more popular. And hanging around by a phone is pretty sad too !

brooks
 
SuperGroove--your "friends" sound a little like my ex-friends from college. I hung out with 3 girls and a guy (one of the girls was dating the guy). I guess, at the time, I'd have been considered a doormat. The four of us would make plans, only to have the 2 dating friends decide they'd rather do something by themselves, and the remaining friend would decide SHE didn't want to do anything if THEY didn't want to do anything. This would all happen like an hour before we were supposed to go anywhere. Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem with the two dating friends doing stuff alone, but this kind of stuff was happening EVERY time we made plans. But I put up with it. Once I was in a relationship though, and all of a sudden I wasn't just sitting around waiting for the dating friends to decied we were worthy of hanging out with and actually did things on my own, the dating friends and the other friend decided that I NEVER did anything with them anymore, only cared about being with my guy. While, yes, I did enjoy that, I was more than willing to do something with them, not necessarily with my boyfriend involved. But the couple just never got over that and quit inviting me to anything at all. Eventually I decided they weren't ever friends to begin with and I quit calling them. The third friend was only my friend through the couple, so we quit hanging out, too. Sad? Yeah, but in the long run I felt better about myself when I wasn't being their lap dog. You'll find good friends someday, just treat these so called friends like the acquaintances they really are.
 
Mrs. AntiSocial Virge,

That's so sad to hear...it seems like people don't change...however, there still some quality people in the world, witnessed here🙂

Paul
 
Well SuperGroove, I'm guessing you're in high school? We were in college 18-21 isn't all that different than 16 & 17, I guess. It just sucks that I have no friends now. At work either people are old enough to be my parents, or they have kids and a whole different focus in their life.
 
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