How far involved is considered cheating?

[yoda291]

whatever would make the other guy/girl uncomfortable. Sex, I imagine or heavy kissing would probably make 99% of all "other guys" uncomfortable.

A close friend of mine used to constantly mess up my hair and I used to poke her in the tummy cuz I always get really short haircuts and she's like rail thin so it's like (nice hair mophead) vs (getting pudgy I see). I had to stop because the pokey turned out to make the new bf uncomfortable and really, the whole point of inappropriate contact is respect for the current relationship.

Of course she dropped him because he was cheating a while later...irony eh?

 

[Horus]

I was severly tempted to bang one of my floormates on my last night in rez. I was also extremely drunk.

But then I remembered that I would be castrated if I cheated, so I decided not to. Yes, she has threatened me with it, and I think she would actually go through with it.

 

[cruthick7]

I would say petting is where i draw the line

 

[Azurik]

Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
It all has to do with intent. A friendly kiss isn't cheating, but the same kiss with romantic feelings behind it is.

Umm, ok, by your definition, it's ok for another girl to go down on me as long as I don't have romantic feelings behind it and I'm just looking to get my rocks off, right?

Restate please.

 

[lavagirl669]

hand down the pants count?

 

[iwantanewcomputer]

as far as the physical line, a quick peck on the cheek is pushing it. emotional is tough to say, cause what is the line between friend and wanna be lover?

 

[Monkey muppet]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
For those of you who still don't get it:

1) The OP isn't attached
2) The girl he's making play for is
3) He wants to know what your limits are in his position

Quit getting your sh!t all assbackwards, people.

- M4H

Wow!!

I'm amazed. There are some people that do read posts.

just to summerize a little more:

- I'm not attached
- She is
- Both have made it known that feelings between us exist
- I would personnaly draw the line at petting - but not heavy (groping) petting
- My morality says to me that if any lying takes place then it's cheating
- Very heavy flirting is currently taking place and I need to make clear where the boundaries are as we are both thinking (is this OK, is this right)
- She is not happy in her current relationship (but that is no excuse either way)

 

[angedinoir]

Wow!!

I'm amazed. There are some people that do read posts.

just to summerize a little more:

- I'm not attached
- She is
- Both have made it known that feelings between us exist
- I would personnaly draw the line at petting - but not heavy (groping) petting
- My morality says to me that if any lying takes place then it's cheating
- Very heavy flirting is currently taking place and I need to make clear where the boundaries are as we are both thinking (is this OK, is this right)
- She is not happy in her current relationship (but that is no excuse either way)

You said:

OP == How far will or could you get involved with someone before morality kicks in and says NO!! - that's too far to go with someone who is involved

I said:

A. What you consider to be in the bounds of personal loyalty.
B. What is considered acceptable by your partner.

I'm sorry for misreading, but this still applies, it just something she will need to get back to you on in her personal relationship.

If she's comfortable and indicates no problems from the current BF, then it's really up to you how far you're willing to go. As with any relationship, communication is key.

If she can't work it out, won't talk about it, etc, then I would be fairly conservative. Maybe you should just make sure your feelings are known, step back for a bit, and wait to see what happens.

 

[NogginBoink]

*sigh*

If you talk to my wife, me walking into a titty bar is cheating on her.

 

[EagleKeeper]

Originally posted by: NogginBoink
*sigh*

If you talk to my wife, me walking into a titty bar is cheating on her.

Lucky you - try to just drive by one.

And that is a problem out here - every other block.

with respect to the origianl post (and it may have been answered)

If you can not tell your SO about it, then you are going to far.

 

[cerebusPu]

Originally posted by: AntiEverything

Originally posted by: tm37

Originally posted by: angedinoir
Cheating pretty much comes down to a mesh of two things:

A. What you consider to be in the bounds of personal loyalty.
B. What is considered acceptable by your partner.

It's possible that hugging and a peck on the cheek may be completely unacceptable, either because you feel that way, or because it makes your SO jealous.

On the other hand, I know plenty of relationships where the couples are very emotionally strong and bonded, and have safe sex with other people/couples all the time.

Well you hang out with some pretty interesting people.

Me and my wife have done some swapping with another couple, and just last week I brought a hottie home with me and me and the wife both had some fun with her. It's not as uncommon as some might think. As long as everyone involved knows what's going on and is OK with it, it's not cheating.

umm..if only my SO were so open....
btw, the collective of ATOT demands pics.

 

Originally posted by: AntiEverything

Originally posted by: tm37

Originally posted by: angedinoir
Cheating pretty much comes down to a mesh of two things:

A. What you consider to be in the bounds of personal loyalty.
B. What is considered acceptable by your partner.

It's possible that hugging and a peck on the cheek may be completely unacceptable, either because you feel that way, or because it makes your SO jealous.

On the other hand, I know plenty of relationships where the couples are very emotionally strong and bonded, and have safe sex with other people/couples all the time.

Well you hang out with some pretty interesting people.

Me and my wife have done some swapping with another couple, and just last week I brought a hottie home with me and me and the wife both had some fun with her. It's not as uncommon as some might think. As long as everyone involved knows what's going on and is OK with it, it's not cheating.

I'm going to regret this forever if I don't call "SHENS" on this post.

SHENS.

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: Monkey muppet

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
For those of you who still don't get it:

1) The OP isn't attached
2) The girl he's making play for is
3) He wants to know what your limits are in his position

Quit getting your sh!t all assbackwards, people.

- M4H

Wow!!

I'm amazed. There are some people that do read posts.

just to summerize a little more:

- I'm not attached
- She is
- Both have made it known that feelings between us exist
- I would personnaly draw the line at petting - but not heavy (groping) petting
- My morality says to me that if any lying takes place then it's cheating
- Very heavy flirting is currently taking place and I need to make clear where the boundaries are as we are both thinking (is this OK, is this right)
- She is not happy in her current relationship (but that is no excuse either way)

So basically, you are getting used by a married woman who is currently unsatisfied with her relationship.

The man in me says "Tread carefully." The boy in me says "Hit that $@&!!"

 

[shilala]

Originally posted by: brigden

Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
It all has to do with intent. A friendly kiss isn't cheating, but the same kiss with romantic feelings behind it is.

Exactly.

Ditto.

 

[xirtam]

Originally posted by: jumpr

Originally posted by: AntiEverything

Originally posted by: tm37

Originally posted by: angedinoir
Cheating pretty much comes down to a mesh of two things:

A. What you consider to be in the bounds of personal loyalty.
B. What is considered acceptable by your partner.

It's possible that hugging and a peck on the cheek may be completely unacceptable, either because you feel that way, or because it makes your SO jealous.

On the other hand, I know plenty of relationships where the couples are very emotionally strong and bonded, and have safe sex with other people/couples all the time.

Well you hang out with some pretty interesting people.

Me and my wife have done some swapping with another couple, and just last week I brought a hottie home with me and me and the wife both had some fun with her. It's not as uncommon as some might think. As long as everyone involved knows what's going on and is OK with it, it's not cheating.

I'm going to regret this forever if I don't call "SHENS" on this post.

SHENS.

Yeah, there's no way somebody in this forum is married.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
For those of you who still don't get it:

1) The OP isn't attached
2) The girl he's making play for is
3) He wants to know what your limits are in his position

Quit getting your sh!t all assbackwards, people.

- M4H

Perhaps he should ask her husband what his "limits" are ?

Exactly. If anyone has any kind of issue with a question like this, the correct answer is to look at your SO and ask yourself what would you tolerate them doing.

In addition, "cheating" per se is not about physical or emotional contact with someone outside of your immediate relationship, but more about hiding this from your SO, or otherwise acting without approval from your SO.

 

[AntiEverything]

Originally posted by: jumpr

Originally posted by: AntiEverything
Me and my wife have done some swapping with another couple, and just last week I brought a hottie home with me and me and the wife both had some fun with her. It's not as uncommon as some might think. As long as everyone involved knows what's going on and is OK with it, it's not cheating.

I'm going to regret this forever if I don't call "SHENS" on this post.

SHENS.

Whatever you want to think. There's at least one member here who has met me and my wife, and can verify that my wife is a stripper. We get offers all the time from men and women alike. Believe me or not, makes no difference to me.

We're also bikers (as in the Harley variety), and that group tends to be a bit more liberated than than your average white bread American.

 

[Quasmo]

Originally posted by: MaverickBP

Originally posted by: xirtam

Originally posted by: Phokus

Originally posted by: shuan24

Originally posted by: SampSon
If you have to ask ...

qft

ok wtf does qft stand for?

Quoted for truth.

all this time i thought it meant "quit fvckin talking" ...go figure

me too LOL...

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: Monkey muppet

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
For those of you who still don't get it:

1) The OP isn't attached
2) The girl he's making play for is
3) He wants to know what your limits are in his position

Quit getting your sh!t all assbackwards, people.

- M4H

Wow!!

I'm amazed. There are some people that do read posts.

just to summerize a little more:

- I'm not attached
- She is
- Both have made it known that feelings between us exist
- I would personnaly draw the line at petting - but not heavy (groping) petting
- My morality says to me that if any lying takes place then it's cheating
- Very heavy flirting is currently taking place and I need to make clear where the boundaries are as we are both thinking (is this OK, is this right)
- She is not happy in her current relationship (but that is no excuse either way)

fvck that. if she isn't married then she is open game. who cares what her SO thinks, if she is into it and you are into it go for it.


shoot, every woman i ever dated was attached to another guy when i met her.

 

[dderidex]

Originally posted by: Monkey muppet
Wow!!

I'm amazed. There are some people that do read posts.

just to summerize a little more:

- I'm not attached
- She is
\b{- Both have made it known that feelings between us exist}
- I would personnaly draw the line at petting - but not heavy (groping) petting
- My morality says to me that if any lying takes place then it's cheating
- Very heavy flirting is currently taking place and I need to make clear where the boundaries are as we are both thinking (is this OK, is this right)
\b{- She is not happy in her current relationship (but that is no excuse either way)}

So....what's the hangup with the word 'cheating', here?

You are associating with her with the intent of breaking up her existing relationship and picking her up yourself?

No matter HOW you cut that, that's "cheating". Period! If she is thinking seriously about - and engaging in activities to move forward on - a relationship with anybody other than who she is currently with, that IS the definition of "cheating".

The appropriate and honest thing to do would be for her to break off her relationship with the guy she's with if she's *really* not happy with it, and then you are free to advance however you want without worrying about "cheating".

 

[focusyn]

i say if they're in different zip codes, it doesn't count. but that's just me.

but seriously. would you want to be involved in someone that could potentially cheat on their significant other? what's there to say that she won't do the same to you somewhere down the line?

i'd just cut things off.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: SampSon
If you have to ask ...

yep.
also, ask what you would consider cheating if she did it.

 

[kranky]

When the OP said the woman was "attached", he meant she was married.

 

[Monkey muppet]

Originally posted by: kranky
When the OP said the woman was "attached", he meant she was married.

with two adopted children