How does money laundering work?

Accipiter22

Banned
Feb 11, 2005
7,942
2
0
Say I make 100,000 in a month from selling coke. Now I have a legitimate business I run as well. How do I launder that 100,000? Fake receipts from my business to make it look like the legit end is more profitable than it actually is?
 

isekii

Lifer
Mar 16, 2001
28,578
3
81
I'd probably bury it somewhere and leave it there till I retire. Take some every now and then till I need to use it
 

KingGheedora

Diamond Member
Jun 24, 2006
3,248
1
81
Good evening, sir. My name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack, but now I'm off and trying to stay clean.

That is why I am selling magzine subscriptions.

And I was hoping you could help me out--
 

AnonymouseUser

Diamond Member
May 14, 2003
9,943
107
106
Originally posted by: Accipiter22
Say I make 100,000 in a month from selling coke. Now I have a legitimate business I run as well. How do I launder that 100,000? Fake receipts from my business to make it look like the legit end is more profitable than it actually is?

I have already contacted the IRS and FBI. Expect a visit soon.













:p
 

XZeroII

Lifer
Jun 30, 2001
12,572
0
0
You put it in your pants and run your pants through the washing machine.

Now your money has been laundered.
 

darkeneddays

Senior member
Jan 10, 2002
439
1
0
Originally posted by: KingGheedora
Good evening, sir. My name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack, but now I'm off and trying to stay clean.

That is why I am selling magzine subscriptions.

And I was hoping you could help me out--


I thought the same thing when I read the title... :p
 

preslove

Lifer
Sep 10, 2003
16,754
64
91
You open up a resturaunt or store and use the cash as fake purchases. You just inflate the earnings of the business. This is the common way for low to mid-level drug dealers to launder money, there are bigger scale operations that a really complicated.

oh, and repost.
 

Shawn

Lifer
Apr 20, 2003
32,236
53
91
Originally posted by: KingGheedora
Good evening, sir. My name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack, but now I'm off and trying to stay clean.

That is why I am selling magzine subscriptions.

And I was hoping you could help me out--

Hahahaha!
 

killface

Golden Member
Aug 17, 2001
1,416
0
0
That's about the safest way to do it. As long as you have a low-overhead, potentially high-profit business and aren't bringing in too much money from the illegal activities, you can do it this way. If you need to launder LOTS of money, you'll need a *friend* at a bank. One thing you can do is go to the bank, take out a loan for, say $1 mil. For loan collateral, you put up, say $1.2 mil in cash. You default on the loan, the bank keeps the cash, and you still have your, now legal, $1 million loan.

There are lots of other ways too. It mostly depends on the amount you need to rinse.
 

sniperruff

Lifer
Apr 17, 2002
11,644
2
0
1) get a lot of dirty money
2) pick a suitable location. places with drive-through's are the best
3) get some tide and snuggle from the supermarket
4) ...
5) profit!
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: Accipiter22
Say I make 100,000 in a month from selling coke. Now I have a legitimate business I run as well. How do I launder that 100,000? Fake receipts from my business to make it look like the legit end is more profitable than it actually is?

You open a laundry mat.

That way you take the money gained illegally and pump it into the laundery mat. I believe this is where the term came from.
 

thehstrybean

Diamond Member
Oct 25, 2004
5,727
1
0
Originally posted by: KingGheedora
Good evening, sir. My name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack, but now I'm off and trying to stay clean.

That is why I am selling magzine subscriptions.

And I was hoping you could help me out--

Hahaha...I :heart: Office Space!
 

kingtas

Senior member
Aug 26, 2006
421
0
0
Any deposit over ten grand has to be reported to the feds by law, is what I have heard.

Cash is king.
 

mchammer

Diamond Member
Dec 7, 2000
3,152
0
76
"I don't know anything about money laundering, I'm really an unemployed software engineer."
 
Jun 4, 2005
19,723
1
0
Originally posted by: killface
That's about the safest way to do it. As long as you have a low-overhead, potentially high-profit business and aren't bringing in too much money from the illegal activities, you can do it this way. If you need to launder LOTS of money, you'll need a *friend* at a bank. One thing you can do is go to the bank, take out a loan for, say $1 mil. For loan collateral, you put up, say $1.2 mil in cash. You default on the loan, the bank keeps the cash, and you still have your, now legal, $1 million loan.

There are lots of other ways too. It mostly depends on the amount you need to rinse.

How the hell could you put up $1.2 mill in cash, if you're taking out a $1 mil loan? How would that make any sense?
 

FelixDeCat

Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
30,935
2,656
126
The Cayman Islands, Bermuda, and the Bahamas, for example, do not have any income taxes. Other jurisdictions, such as Jersey, Liechtenstein, and Hong Kong, have low-rate, flat tax systems. Equally important, these nations and territories usually have "source based" or "territorial" tax systems, meaning that the jurisdictions do not tax income earned outside their borders and do not help other nations tax income that is earned inside their borders.
 

FelixDeCat

Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
30,935
2,656
126
Originally posted by: kingtas
Any deposit over ten grand has to be reported to the feds by law, is what I have heard.

Cash is king.

Where have you been? 5 big ones generate a SAR now. You would already be in jail.
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
The Cayman Islands, Bermuda, and the Bahamas, for example, do not have any income taxes. Other jurisdictions, such as Jersey, Liechtenstein, and Hong Kong, have low-rate, flat tax systems. Equally important, these nations and territories usually have "source based" or "territorial" tax systems, meaning that the jurisdictions do not tax income earned outside their borders and do not help other nations tax income that is earned inside their borders.

Which is why you incorporate in jersey.
 

Slacker

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,623
33
91
Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
Originally posted by: kingtas
Any deposit over ten grand has to be reported to the feds by law, is what I have heard.

Cash is king.

Where have you been? 5 big ones generate a SAR now. You would already be in jail.
Felix is correct, to my knowledge it has been $5k for more than 5 years now.