How does it affect you when you feel like your SO doesnt appreciate the things you do?

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D1gger

D1gger

Diamond Member
Oct 3, 2004
5,411
2
76
I don't know, since I'm not sure she ever has appreciated the things I do, so how would I know the difference?
 
meltdown75

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
it usually affects my ears the most, all i can hear is nag nag nag nag... :p

edit: feel free to add some context ;)
 
S

stars

Golden Member
Feb 27, 2002
1,068
0
0
I tolerate it till it reaches the point to where I no longer care. If communicating etc fails to improve things over time I find a new SO.
 
L

Lola

It would be interesting to me to see a male perspective on this.
I know it hurts me when a loved one doesn't care that i took time and did something special/went out of my way with it and was not appericative.
 
Amused

Amused

Elite Member
Apr 14, 2001
57,389
19,705
146
If they don't appreciate it, why keep doing it? When they ask why you stopped, tell them to be a little more thankful next time.
 
meltdown75

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
oh, i see...

the secret here is to do almost nothing, ever.

that way, when you actually get off your ass and do something, it is sure to be greatly appreciated.

:thumbsup:
 
leftyman

leftyman

Diamond Member
Sep 15, 2000
7,073
3
81
Originally posted by: meltdown75
oh, i see...

the secret here is to do almost nothing, ever.

that way, when you actually get off your ass and do something, it is sure to be greatly appreciated.

:thumbsup:
Click to expand...

learns the secret of a being good husband :D
 
sixone

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
5
61
Originally posted by: meltdown75
oh, i see...

the secret here is to do almost nothing, ever.

that way, when you actually get off your ass and do something, it is sure to be greatly appreciated.

:thumbsup:
Click to expand...

Works for me. :eek:

:p

 
S

stars

Golden Member
Feb 27, 2002
1,068
0
0
I think the bottom line is peoples actions speak louder than their words. Its understandable people may overlook the sacrifice and extra distance their partner goes at times but repeatedly it does nothing but bring negative things to a relationship.
 
Skunkwourk

Skunkwourk

Diamond Member
Dec 9, 2004
4,662
1
81
Originally posted by: leftyman
i stop doing those things until she starts appreciating again
Click to expand...

...and if she doesn't, then i dump her...dunno what Id do if I was married though...
 
S

shimsham

Lifer
May 9, 2002
10,765
0
0
eh, im kinda odd about this stuff. i dont need to hear thanks or any fuss when i cook, keep up the lawn, take out the trash, fix the cars, or do home repairs. i do it because i love her and thats my role in the marriage. as long as she does laundry and dishes, and writes the checks for the bills, i feel she appreciates what i do for her. same goes for special things.

i always make a point to thank her for the things she does, tho.
 
theknight571

theknight571

Platinum Member
Mar 23, 2001
2,896
2
81
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
It would be interesting to me to see a male perspective on this.
I know it hurts me when a loved one doesn't care that i took time and did something special/went out of my way with it and was not appericative.
Click to expand...

What if there's no appreciation for the everyday things you do? Such as doing the laundry, or the dishes, or cooking dinner?

Just playing devil's advocate. :)

- TK
 
rh71

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
my SO... same with everyone else... if my efforts aren't appreciated, I get pissed, but not visually so... not until it happens repeatedly.
 
T

TBone48

Platinum Member
Feb 23, 2005
2,431
0
0
I'm pretty lucky, my wife genuinely seems to appreciate the things I do for her or our kids. When I feel that she is overlooking things I have to remember that we're BOTH doing a lot every day, maybe she just didn't have time to say anything. Not only that but I'm not perfect, I'm sure I don't tell her enough how much I appreciate what she does.

So basically if I'm feeling sorry for myself because I'm feeling"unappreciated" I tell myself to STFU and stop being a whiny baby.
 
meltdown75

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
Originally posted by: shimsham
eh, im kinda odd about this stuff. i dont need to hear thanks or any fuss when i cook, keep up the lawn, take out the trash, fix the cars, or do home repairs. i do it because i love her and thats my role in the marriage. as long as she does laundry and dishes, and writes the checks for the bills, i feel she appreciates what i do for her. same goes for special things.

i always make a point to thank her for the things she does, tho.
Click to expand...
i'm betting your wife is a happy lady.

in all seriousness, i try to do as much as i can. seeing as how my life is pretty much devoid of responsibility and my wife barely has time to breathe... that's that way it should be, for now at least (me trying to help).

it is true though, that when I do something, she is pretty appreciative. i wouldn't care if she didn't thank me, but i try to remember to thank her for everything. when i cook dinner, even if it's easy, i get HUGE props... saves her a lot of time.

basically, anything i can do that will save her time is sure to get some thanks, and she really appreciates it.

still would like some context on this issue if possible.
 
J

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
15,424
2
0
I'm married and have become numb to these type of things years ago. Seriously though, as long as she keeps fixing me sammiches I know I'm appreciated.
 
M

MX2

Lifer
Apr 11, 2004
18,651
1
0
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: MX2times
Just curious about a guys standpoint on this subject
Click to expand...
so you don't want a girl's standpoint?

YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ME!!!!



:laugh:
Click to expand...

We are girls, we know our standpoint:p
 
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