My oldest daughter is 18 months, she is very smart for her age. Ever since my wife gave birth to our second child she has been very bad. She does not listen anymore, she hits me, my wife, and the new baby. While in the mall she wanted to walk on her own and when I went to hold her hand she bit me in the hand. At first I thought she may be jealous but we spend equal time with both of our kids. I tried to put in her room for 5 minutes but all she did is scream and thro all her toys aroud the room and make a mess.
How do you punish a 2 year old?
- Thread starter sean2002
- Start date
i'm not a parent, but equal time with both kids is still half the time that you used to spend with her... right? whereas before she got *all* the attention, now she gets *half*. unless i'm missing something...
anyways, maybe you could take things away from her. for example, if you had planned a trip to the toy store or something, you could take that away from her if she misbehaves.
Spankings.. It does a kid good 
And take away toys and junk, once my parents took away my bed and I had to sleep on a blow up matress (because, I was getting a waterbed)
-- mrcodedude
And take away toys and junk, once my parents took away my bed and I had to sleep on a blow up matress (because, I was getting a waterbed)
-- mrcodedude
Don't punish her.
Look for ways to communicate to her that the family is a team and she is an important part of it.
Is she really that much out of control?
It may be tiring on your part, but every time you see a problem with her, teach her the right thing. Do not tolerate anything, but I think that you should hold off any sorts of "punishments."
My siblings have been very good kids so I didn't experience troubles to the extent you did, but I've been doing what I explained above and it did wonders for us.
Look for ways to communicate to her that the family is a team and she is an important part of it.
Is she really that much out of control?
It may be tiring on your part, but every time you see a problem with her, teach her the right thing. Do not tolerate anything, but I think that you should hold off any sorts of "punishments."
My siblings have been very good kids so I didn't experience troubles to the extent you did, but I've been doing what I explained above and it did wonders for us.
1. Time Out for minor offenses. Explain that she's been bad, so she gets a Time Out. Shut her in a room, and slowly count to 10 out loud. She should be screaming and crying if you do this properly. She should also be very sorry when you let her out. Try to get her to say that she won't do it again.
2. Whack her on the hand for major offenses. (Mostly) Works with my 3-yr-old niece and 2-yr-old nephew. DON'T EVER HIT HER WHEN YOU'RE MAD (or at least until you've counted to 10). It's a bad precedent.
3. BTW, she learned to hit. You should wonder about who taught her.
4. Geez, you're up late/early.
2. Whack her on the hand for major offenses. (Mostly) Works with my 3-yr-old niece and 2-yr-old nephew. DON'T EVER HIT HER WHEN YOU'RE MAD (or at least until you've counted to 10). It's a bad precedent.
3. BTW, she learned to hit. You should wonder about who taught her.
4. Geez, you're up late/early.
Is this what they call the "Terrible twos"? Well what seems to work is be like ok fine then u stay here and well be back to get you, as soon as u walk around the corner they get all sad and want to come .
.We already tried that, she hits back, and she won't back down no matter how hard you whack her. She hit me so I lightly smacked her hand, she went and smacked my hand in return
Your obviously not hitting her hard enough. Are you scared of her?
You could try to communicate.
By the way 18 months is 1 and a half years not 2
uh where did your child learn all this behavior? do you guys have a babysitter or something? maybe you should get a spy camera or something to make sure nothing is going on...
What in the world are you doing asking this kind of question on a (predominently PC-oriented) msg board??? I'd be surprised if more than 10% of those answering in this thread actually have kids.
Parenting isn't something to take so lightly as to seek advice from people (most of them kids, themselves) on a msg board.
joe678 who suggested hitting the kid has no clue whatsoever. That suggestion is simply appaling, and the suggestion to hit her harder is even worse. I hope those people learn something about parenting before they have kids, and I hope they don't already.
Btw, joe678 posted previously that he doesn't have an issue with a mother breastfeeding her 8-year old. That shows you the type of parenting advice you are getting here.
Parenting isn't something to take so lightly as to seek advice from people (most of them kids, themselves) on a msg board.
joe678 who suggested hitting the kid has no clue whatsoever. That suggestion is simply appaling, and the suggestion to hit her harder is even worse. I hope those people learn something about parenting before they have kids, and I hope they don't already.
Btw, joe678 posted previously that he doesn't have an issue with a mother breastfeeding her 8-year old. That shows you the type of parenting advice you are getting here.
I just noticed that you were seeking stock market advice too.
C'mon Sean... get a life!
The AT forums are an excellent resource for many things... But parenting and money DEFINITELY aren't two of them.
C'mon Sean... get a life!
The AT forums are an excellent resource for many things... But parenting and money DEFINITELY aren't two of them.
Spankings and punishment followed by care, love, and affection is how my sisters and I were raised- it worked brilliantly. You have to instill this kind of stuff early or they will grow up to be brats.
I never spank or punish my little brother and sister (I'm their guardian and my parents don't live with us, btw), and they behave just fine.
I often emphasize that I am not a "leader" of any sort in the family and that we are all equals. I emphasize that the family is a team in which we are all part of. We always ask for help and give each other the freedom to say "no". We also follow some rules like not offering help unless they are asked. And yelling and violence of any shape or form from anyone (including myself) is strongly discouraged. And I try my best to sincerely apologize to an 8-year-old if I did anything wrong.
It works beautifully. We are constantly learning to love ourselves more and love each other more than we did before as well.
In families that have problems, the family members are not very good at expressing their needs. They never ask but expect stuff from others, which build up to a huge frustration. Also, it is often "led" by the parents (and often the father or the mother) who try hard to maintain some sort of a hierarchical structure. I think that the family functions best when all these hierarchies are flattened and the family members should express their needs and speak rationally as much as possible (except for those times when they are relaxing and having fun). Children should also be encouraged to point out any flaws from their parents. And parents shouldn't get too carried on with crap like "but I do all the cooking and all the housework" or "but I earn all the money for this goddamn family".
A family that functions best is a family where each family member looks into the problems within themselves (and others) and subsequently fix the problems of the family. It may be a huge challenge to send such messages to a 2-year-old but it never hurts to raise the kids to behave in such manner from early age.
I often emphasize that I am not a "leader" of any sort in the family and that we are all equals. I emphasize that the family is a team in which we are all part of. We always ask for help and give each other the freedom to say "no". We also follow some rules like not offering help unless they are asked. And yelling and violence of any shape or form from anyone (including myself) is strongly discouraged. And I try my best to sincerely apologize to an 8-year-old if I did anything wrong.
It works beautifully. We are constantly learning to love ourselves more and love each other more than we did before as well.
In families that have problems, the family members are not very good at expressing their needs. They never ask but expect stuff from others, which build up to a huge frustration. Also, it is often "led" by the parents (and often the father or the mother) who try hard to maintain some sort of a hierarchical structure. I think that the family functions best when all these hierarchies are flattened and the family members should express their needs and speak rationally as much as possible (except for those times when they are relaxing and having fun). Children should also be encouraged to point out any flaws from their parents. And parents shouldn't get too carried on with crap like "but I do all the cooking and all the housework" or "but I earn all the money for this goddamn family".
A family that functions best is a family where each family member looks into the problems within themselves (and others) and subsequently fix the problems of the family. It may be a huge challenge to send such messages to a 2-year-old but it never hurts to raise the kids to behave in such manner from early age.
First of all, you should speak to your pediatrician for some advice. But here's my 2 cents.
Please don't spank an 18 month old baby. You really can't 'talk' to an 18 month old either. Anything longer than a sentence and they really won't pay attention.
So when you say she wont listen, I'm wondering, listen to what? Will an 18 month old clean up her toys all by herself? No. But she will clean them up with you if you make a game out of it. Use her intelligence there. Ask her if she can put away all the red blocks, then blue blocks, etc. And you have to do it with her.
If you have to put her for a time out, 5 minutes is too long. The going rate for time outs is 1 minute per age of the child. So a 2 year old gets 2 minutes, 3 yr old 3 minutes, etc.
I know you say you are spending time with both of them, but try to spend time with just her, at least 15 solid minutes at a time, reading stories, watching barney together, whatever.
My youngest used to be a biter, never bit me, just her sister. If you try to anticipate when she's getting frustrated and distract her with something more fun, she'll forget all about it. You have to be there, and in tune with when she's getting frustrated.
I hope that helps. Sorry for going on so much, but I saw some silly advice here, and want to add something sane.
edited to say, I don't think your advice is silly joohang
Please don't spank an 18 month old baby. You really can't 'talk' to an 18 month old either. Anything longer than a sentence and they really won't pay attention.
So when you say she wont listen, I'm wondering, listen to what? Will an 18 month old clean up her toys all by herself? No. But she will clean them up with you if you make a game out of it. Use her intelligence there. Ask her if she can put away all the red blocks, then blue blocks, etc. And you have to do it with her.
If you have to put her for a time out, 5 minutes is too long. The going rate for time outs is 1 minute per age of the child. So a 2 year old gets 2 minutes, 3 yr old 3 minutes, etc.
I know you say you are spending time with both of them, but try to spend time with just her, at least 15 solid minutes at a time, reading stories, watching barney together, whatever.
My youngest used to be a biter, never bit me, just her sister. If you try to anticipate when she's getting frustrated and distract her with something more fun, she'll forget all about it. You have to be there, and in tune with when she's getting frustrated.
I hope that helps. Sorry for going on so much, but I saw some silly advice here, and want to add something sane.
edited to say, I don't think your advice is silly joohang
Originally posted by: Tangerine
First of all, you should speak to your pediatrician for some advice. But here's my 2 cents.
Please don't spank an 18 month old baby. You really can't 'talk' to an 18 month old either. Anything longer than a sentence and they really won't pay attention.
So when you say she wont listen, I'm wondering, listen to what? Will an 18 month old clean up her toys all by herself? No. But she will clean them up with you if you make a game out of it. Use her intelligence there. Ask her if she can put away all the red blocks, then blue blocks, etc. And you have to do it with her.
If you have to put her for a time out, 5 minutes is too long. The going rate for time outs is 1 minute per age of the child. So a 2 year old gets 2 minutes, 3 yr old 3 minutes, etc.
I know you say you are spending time with both of them, but try to spend time with just her, at least 15 solid minutes at a time, reading stories, watching barney together, whatever.
My youngest used to be a biter, never bit me, just her sister. If you try to anticipate when she's getting frustrated and distract her with something more fun, she'll forget all about it. You have to be there, and in tune with when she's getting frustrated.
I hope that helps. Sorry for going on so much, but I saw some silly advice here, and want to add something sane.
edited to say, I don't think your advice is silly joohang
No worries. If anything on your post sounded as though you were disagreeing or insulting me, I would've asked for your intention any ways.
If you'd have started raising her right to begin with, she might actually respect you. You're the parent. You know what's best. Spank her ass. If she hits you back, spank her again.
Oh, and a spanking isn't a light tap on the fanny. It's intended to cause pain. Mind you, don't leave marks of any kind, but if you were to get a feather across your cheek every time you did something wrong, would you learn?
nik (HATES stupid fscking "P.C. Parenting" bullsh!t)
No, but you obviously didn't learn respect for the way other people were raised. So I'd think there's something lacking.
nik
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