how do you pump gas?

[Looney]

There's a gas bar, a hose, and a hole. You pay the gas bar, then use the hose in the hole. The entire process is very similar to sex (although the experience may be slightly different).

 

[Mermaidman]

Originally posted by: Looney
There's a gas bar, a hose, and a hole. You pay the gas bar, then use the hose in the hole. The entire process is very similar to sex (although the experience may be slightly different).

You should consider the audience

 

[Schfifty Five]

Originally posted by: Mermaidman

Originally posted by: Looney
There's a gas bar, a hose, and a hole. You pay the gas bar, then use the hose in the hole. The entire process is very similar to sex (although the experience may be slightly different).

You should consider the audience

You should be banned for bumping a nearly 1 year old thread.

Preemptive LOL @ those who post after me thinking that the thread is current. And you know there will be lots of dolts who don't even bother looking at the posting date.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Savij
1. Make sure you pull up to gas pump with gas cap side closer to pump.
2. Swipe credit card.
3. Open gas cap as card is processing.
4. Select proper fuel grade and insert nozzle
4a. Some older places have a slider or a lever to turn on the pump. It will be written in nice large letters if you need to do so.
5. Squeeze and hold until pump stopsl
6. Press yes for receipt.
7. Remove nozzle and place it back on the pump.
8. Tighten gas cap till it clicks.
9. Take receipt.
10. Drive away as fast as you can.

gas cap should click more than once, most say at least 3 times. You really can't overtighten it.

If you are at a BJ's you scan your membership card on the right, not swipe it. You swipe your CC card on the left, not scan it.

If you aren't a member, GTFO we hate waiting for your sorry broke ass. Spring for the membership, buy some stuff.

 

[lozina]

1. pull upto pump
2. swipe card, select grade
3. remove cap, pick up nozzle, insert
4. jam your gas cap between the nozzle trigger and trigger guard so it keeps pumping wihout you having to hold it down
5. call random friend on cell phone
6. light up a cigarette
7. grab your handy silk cloth from glove compartment and a glass rod and rub them together near the nozzle and swipe you hand across it
8. repeat step 7 a few times
9. when done, drive away without removing nozzle from your tank

 

[duragezic]

This calls for WikiHow.com

I'm sure they have an article on how to pump gas.

 

[FlashG]

I use to pump ethyl but her sister got mad.
Shows my age I guess.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Originally posted by: Schfifty Five
Preemptive LOL @ those who post after me thinking that the thread is current. And you know there will be lots of dolts who don't even bother looking at the posting date.

Well done.

Cheers to loki8481 for having the testicular fortitude to post a topic that makes him look stupider than people who pump gas for a living. I'll fully admit that I didn't have to pump my own gas until last year (Oregonian, I was in Seattle at the time). The thing is, I was unsure if I was doing it correctly, but I damn sure wasn't going to ask for help. I have enough problems in my life without people thinking I'm retarded to boot.

So, did it work out for you?

 

[natto fire]

So, even though this thread is a year old, you did make sure to have at least three (3) roman candles lit while pumping, correct? I not your car has not been getting it's full MPG potential.

Also, an electric motor does all the pumping, you just have to know how to operate said motor.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: Captain Howdy
So, even though this thread is a year old, you did make sure to have at least three (3) roman candles lit while pumping, correct? I not your car has not been getting it's full MPG potential.

Also, an electric motor does all the pumping, you just have to know how to operate said motor.

I like to use the 10 shot roman candles when I'm going on a long trip. I usually put one in each pocket and hold the other one with my mouth.

 

[Rubycon]

Watch out for suspicious looking pump numbers or you may get ripped off. This explains why (NSFW language!) :laugh:

 

[jai6638]

Originally posted by: Nebor
I think it's funny that there are people who don't know how to pump their own gas.

Umm in some countries in Asia and here in the Middle East, there is no concept of Self Service.. $1.81 per gallon for 98 octane gas FTW!!

 

[spaceman]

when it comes to pumping gas, you just have to act like you've been there before.

 

[duragezic]

How to Pump Gas


WikiHow FTMFW

The articles on that site... it's like you'd think its suppose to be a joke but its actually not.

 

[Gamingphreek]

If I ever go to New Jersey or Oregon I am pumping my own gas. I don't care what the guy pumping thinks he is going to do, I'm filling up my car how I want it.

Is it really against the law? One of those crazy people hasn't contested that it isn't constitutional yet (I mean it isn't, but no use in arguing about it)?

-Kevin

 

[nageov3t]

Is it really against the law? One of those crazy people hasn't contested that it isn't constitutional yet (I mean it isn't, but no use in arguing about it)?

it really is against the law.

every couple years, there's movement to have the law repealed, but nothing much ever comes of it. there's no real compelling reason to when we've already got some of the lowest gas prices in the union, and I'd imagine it keeps insurance costs down at the gas stations.

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy

Cheers to loki8481 for having the testicular fortitude to post a topic that makes him look stupider than people who pump gas for a living. I'll fully admit that I didn't have to pump my own gas until last year (Oregonian, I was in Seattle at the time). The thing is, I was unsure if I was doing it correctly, but I damn sure wasn't going to ask for help. I have enough problems in my life without people thinking I'm retarded to boot.

So, did it work out for you?

worked out fine. you put the nozzle in the thing and pull the lever.

nothing really complicated about it, I was just curious about the whole process having never done it before and I'd rather have looked like a fool in front of AT than the guy I went on the trip with.

 

[Gamingphreek]

Originally posted by: loki8481

Is it really against the law? One of those crazy people hasn't contested that it isn't constitutional yet (I mean it isn't, but no use in arguing about it)?

it really is against the law.

every couple years, there's movement to have the law repealed, but nothing much ever comes of it. there's no real compelling reason to when we've already got some of the lowest gas prices in the union, and I'd imagine it keeps insurance costs down at the gas stations.

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy

Cheers to loki8481 for having the testicular fortitude to post a topic that makes him look stupider than people who pump gas for a living. I'll fully admit that I didn't have to pump my own gas until last year (Oregonian, I was in Seattle at the time). The thing is, I was unsure if I was doing it correctly, but I damn sure wasn't going to ask for help. I have enough problems in my life without people thinking I'm retarded to boot.

So, did it work out for you?

worked out fine. you put the nozzle in the thing and pull the lever.

nothing really complicated about it, I was just curious about the whole process having never done it before and I'd rather have looked like a fool in front of AT than the guy I went on the trip with.

I would love to see a court try and fine me because I pumped my own gas. I'm sorry this is the first I have ever heard of this haha. What do the police do if a gas station calls and is trying to detain someone for pumping their own gas?

-Kevin

 

[nageov3t]

Originally posted by: Gamingphreek

I would love to see a court try and fine me because I pumped my own gas. I'm sorry this is the first I have ever heard of this haha. What do the police do if a gas station calls and is trying to detain someone for pumping their own gas?

-Kevin

I'd imagine that the cop would write you a ticket for whatever statute the gas thing is covered under. before that point, the gas station attendant would probably remove the pump from your car and tell you to get the fuck out if you insisted on breaking the law.

it really doesn't happen, though. I mean, who cares if someone pumps your own gas? they've probably pumped gas into more cars in a week than you have in a lifetime.

 

[Gamingphreek]

Originally posted by: loki8481

Originally posted by: Gamingphreek

I would love to see a court try and fine me because I pumped my own gas. I'm sorry this is the first I have ever heard of this haha. What do the police do if a gas station calls and is trying to detain someone for pumping their own gas?

-Kevin

I'd imagine that the cop would write you a ticket for whatever statute the gas thing is covered under. before that point, the gas station attendant would probably remove the pump from your car and tell you to get the fuck out if you insisted on breaking the law.

it really doesn't happen, though. I mean, who cares if someone pumps your own gas? they've probably pumped gas into more cars in a week than you have in a lifetime.

I'm very particular about people messing with my car. (Especially after I had to bring it to a mechanic and they messed it up). I know it is only gas, but I don't like others messing with the car.

-Kevin

 

[wetcat007]

Originally posted by: duragezic
How to Pump Gas


WikiHow FTMFW

The articles on that site... it's like you'd think its suppose to be a joke but its actually not.

holy crap, I didn't know I went through so many steps every time lol

 

[potato28]

Take gas nozzle out, wait for it to reset, select grade, put end of nozzle into tank opening, fill until it stops, pay, go. And how the hell would it be illegal to pump your own fucking gas?