How do you know when you're ready to date again?

[badmouse]

I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

 

[shiner]

Have you woken up with an erection?

That's your body saying "DATE DAMN YOU!!!! DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DATE!!!!! I NEED TO GET LAID!!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's generally how you know when you are ready to date again.

 

[Mr N8]

If badmouse gets an erection, I'm going to run in fear.

 

[badmouse]

Originally posted by: shinerburke
Have you woken up with an erection?

That's your body saying "DATE DAMN YOU!!!! DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DATE!!!!! I NEED TO GET LAID!!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's generally how you know when you are ready to date again.

I'm female, but I get the general idea. Funny, though, that was how I knew it was time to get divorced.

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: badmouse

How do you know when you're ready to date again?
after a divorce

I don't know. When you find out, let me know.

Just had the Ax swung on me after 14 years.

Right now I don't feel I'll ever date and certainly never marry again.

 

[Phoenix86]

Well, you will be ready when your knee jerk reactions isn't to say 'no, I'm not ready'

Sounds silly and simple, but you will know when someone strikes your fancy and you won't hold yourself back with that line.

Hmm, maybe if you keep getting asked out all the time, your sending signals..?

 

[shiner]

Originally posted by: MogulMonster
If badmouse gets an erection, I'm going to run in fear.

Yeah....I missed that part of her post. Guess it's because It's normally just a bunch of hard up guys that post in here........

 

[djheater]

It's likely that if you're able to ask the question, you'll know when the time is right.

I can only guess, I've not been in your shoes.

Love was revealed to me when I stopped pursuing it. Perhaps it will be the same for you.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

date, go out. have fun.

there is nothing wrong with dating and even soon after your divorce. Just don't get to involved.

And by dating you get to figure out if they're a "loser".

Hopefully your loser-radar is more sharply honed. And don't forget your womenly needs.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: badmouse
general idea. Funny, though, that was how I knew it was time to get divorced.

You knew it was time to get divorced because you woke up with an erection? If my wife woke up with an erection, I think I'd feel the same way.

Sorry I can't help with your question as I've never been divorced or married. How old are you and how long have you been divorced?

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: Phoenix86
Well, you will be ready when your knee jerk reactions isn't to say 'no, I'm not ready'

Sounds silly and simple, but you will know when someone strikes your fancy and you won't hold yourself back with that line.

Hmm, maybe if you keep getting asked out all the time, your sending signals..?

I agree with Phoenix86

 

[badmouse]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: Phoenix86
Well, you will be ready when your knee jerk reactions isn't to say 'no, I'm not ready'

Sounds silly and simple, but you will know when someone strikes your fancy and you won't hold yourself back with that line.

Hmm, maybe if you keep getting asked out all the time, your sending signals..?

I agree with Phoenix86

Well of course I'm sending out signals, everybody does, and they don't always mean what we think nor are they recieved in the spirit in which they're sent . Guess I have to work on my signal-sending. This stuff is confusing. Life is confusing. Single-malt whiskey is confusing, but I'm making some progress on that one.

Also I apologize to all the wonderful men here, I didn't mean to imply that all males were losers - just the few that have been getting friendly to me lately (none of whom are technically competent enough to post here at ATOT).

 

[eakers]

i think when you meet someone you actually want to date you'll know you're ready.

 

[Epoman]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

date, go out. have fun.

there is nothing wrong with dating and even soon after your divorce. Just don't get to involved.

And by dating you get to figure out if they're a "loser".

Hopefully your loser-radar is more sharply honed. And don't forget your womenly needs.

If you have kids raise your damn kids first then date, Think of your kids. They're the most important thing in your life right now. Why bring sausage around to confuse your kids. If you have NO kids get out there and have fun. Date for a long time before you get married again.

/flamesuit on

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

When you feel you want to bang the guy that asked you out...

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Epoman

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

date, go out. have fun.

there is nothing wrong with dating and even soon after your divorce. Just don't get to involved.

And by dating you get to figure out if they're a "loser".

Hopefully your loser-radar is more sharply honed. And don't forget your womenly needs.

If you have kids raise your damn kids first then date, Think of your kids. They're the most important thing in your life right now. Why bring sausage around to confuse your kids. If you have NO kids get out there and have fun. Date for a long time before you get married again.

/flamesuit on

Oh man...

The presence of kids is not a reason to deny yourself the pleasure and experience of being human.

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: Epoman

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

date, go out. have fun.

there is nothing wrong with dating and even soon after your divorce. Just don't get to involved.

And by dating you get to figure out if they're a "loser".

Hopefully your loser-radar is more sharply honed. And don't forget your womenly needs.

If you have kids raise your damn kids first then date, Think of your kids. They're the most important thing in your life right now. Why bring sausage around to confuse your kids. If you have NO kids get out there and have fun. Date for a long time before you get married again.

/flamesuit on

so, if you have children, when is it ok to date again? when they are 18 and off to college?

 

[Epoman]

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: Epoman

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

date, go out. have fun.

there is nothing wrong with dating and even soon after your divorce. Just don't get to involved.

And by dating you get to figure out if they're a "loser".

Hopefully your loser-radar is more sharply honed. And don't forget your womenly needs.

If you have kids raise your damn kids first then date, Think of your kids. They're the most important thing in your life right now. Why bring sausage around to confuse your kids. If you have NO kids get out there and have fun. Date for a long time before you get married again.

/flamesuit on

so, if you have children, when is it ok to date again? when they are 18 and off to college?

Yes! Raise your kids first you brought them into this world you already fvcked up there life by now not having a mom and a dad at home. When you make a decision to have kids they should be your top priority in life, Its about what the kids NEED not because you're horny. The kid or kids will miss their dad as it is why bring more havoc into there lifes. The parent should concentrate on raising their kids so they don't make the same mistake they did. I believe this goes for fathers as well. But its just the way I think. DO what ever you want if you're a female and have a kid or two SURE go out and date and screw and make MORE kids so you can get another divorce and Fuvk up some more kids.

What happens if you're a woman and you got a divorce and you have a kid or two and you start dating and it gets serious and you want to get married again, But your new husband has to move out of state because of his new promotion. Then you leave the state, But what happens to the father of the kids?

This is just ONE example of drama that happens.

 

[Epoman]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Epoman

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

date, go out. have fun.

there is nothing wrong with dating and even soon after your divorce. Just don't get to involved.

And by dating you get to figure out if they're a "loser".

Hopefully your loser-radar is more sharply honed. And don't forget your womenly needs.

If you have kids raise your damn kids first then date, Think of your kids. They're the most important thing in your life right now. Why bring sausage around to confuse your kids. If you have NO kids get out there and have fun. Date for a long time before you get married again.

/flamesuit on

Oh man...

The presence of kids is not a reason to deny yourself the pleasure and experience of being human.

Of course why put your kids needs FIRST. :roll:

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: Epoman

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: Epoman

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

date, go out. have fun.

there is nothing wrong with dating and even soon after your divorce. Just don't get to involved.

And by dating you get to figure out if they're a "loser".

Hopefully your loser-radar is more sharply honed. And don't forget your womenly needs.

If you have kids raise your damn kids first then date, Think of your kids. They're the most important thing in your life right now. Why bring sausage around to confuse your kids. If you have NO kids get out there and have fun. Date for a long time before you get married again.

/flamesuit on

so, if you have children, when is it ok to date again? when they are 18 and off to college?

Yes! Raise your kids first you brought them into this world you already fvcked up there life by now not having a mom and a dad at home. When you make a decision to have kids they should be your top priority in life, Its about what the kids NEED not because you're horny. The kid or kids will miss their dad as it is why bring more havoc into there lifes. The parent should concentrate on raising their kids so they don't make the same mistake they did. I believe this goes for fathers as well. But its just the way I think. DO what ever you want if you're a female and have a kid or two SURE go out and date and screw and make MORE kids so you can get another divorce and Fuvk up some more kids.

what if your kid(s) ARE the top priority in your life? does that mean you can't seek adult companionship? btw, no one is talking about one-night stands and promiscuous sex.

by your logic, aren't married couples bound by the same restrictions? should married couples have to forgo their romantic lives for the sake of their children? isn't that more detrimental to the kids? the unhappiness of the parents (divorced or married) will probably be reflected onto the kids.

 

[Epoman]

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: Epoman

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: Epoman

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: badmouse
I keep getting asked out, and I always say no, I'm not ready. But it's really because the only guys who've asked me out are guys I can't stand, and couldn't stand either back when I was still married.

But it got me wondering, how do you know when the time is right? I'm still in the "I didn't go to all the trouble of getting divorced just so I could date another loser" stage, but I assume it gets better. Someday. Right?

date, go out. have fun.

there is nothing wrong with dating and even soon after your divorce. Just don't get to involved.

And by dating you get to figure out if they're a "loser".

Hopefully your loser-radar is more sharply honed. And don't forget your womenly needs.

If you have kids raise your damn kids first then date, Think of your kids. They're the most important thing in your life right now. Why bring sausage around to confuse your kids. If you have NO kids get out there and have fun. Date for a long time before you get married again.

/flamesuit on

so, if you have children, when is it ok to date again? when they are 18 and off to college?

Yes! Raise your kids first you brought them into this world you already fvcked up there life by now not having a mom and a dad at home. When you make a decision to have kids they should be your top priority in life, Its about what the kids NEED not because you're horny. The kid or kids will miss their dad as it is why bring more havoc into there lifes. The parent should concentrate on raising their kids so they don't make the same mistake they did. I believe this goes for fathers as well. But its just the way I think. DO what ever you want if you're a female and have a kid or two SURE go out and date and screw and make MORE kids so you can get another divorce and Fuvk up some more kids.

what if your kid(s) ARE the top priority in your life? does that mean you can't seek adult companionship? btw, no one is talking about one-night stands and promiscuous sex.

by your logic, aren't married couples bound by the same restrictions? should married couples have to forgo their romantic lives for the sake of their children? isn't that more detrimental to the kids? the unhappiness of the parents (divorced or married) will probably be reflected onto the kids.

what if your kid(s) ARE the top priority in your life? does that mean you can't seek adult companionship? btw, no one is talking about one-night stands and promiscuous sex.

Companionship is fine, If no one is talking about sex than its fine, Have male friends go on a date. But don't get serious and start screwing. BUT we all know not many guys will wait to have sex. Men want sex its a fact of life. And in a moment of weakness things happen. I understand people have needs but the kids should come first.

 

[StageLeft]

If it was me and I had initiated the divorce, i'd be ready right away. If I was the intiatee, I am not sure!

 

[Azraele]

You may not be sure when the right time comes, it might sneak up on you by suprise. Or there may come a day when you say "I'm ready." It takes time, but things do get better.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: dmcowen674

Originally posted by: badmouse

How do you know when you're ready to date again?
after a divorce

I don't know. When you find out, let me know.

Just had the Ax swung on me after 14 years.

Right now I don't feel I'll ever date and certainly never marry again.

Took me about 6 months but I think the nights of constant drinking were behind it.

j/k


For me, it was when I bounced back w/the ex a couple of times and finally realized I could never stand living w/her again and needed to move on. But, other things kept me out of dating a bit longer (going unemployed for a bit and losing the house)...but...give yourself time to get through at least one round of winter holidays. Those seem to be the worst. Memories flood like mad then.


Oh, and ignore Epoman. He's apparently of the mindset the woman's place is in the home and should obey her man. Wow...

 

[Pliablemoose]

You won't have the doubts you currently talk about when you're ready.

I didn't date after my divorce for a long time (~ a year), & I would NEVER have remarried unless I met current wife or someone nearly exactly like her.

It was such an instant connection that grew into a long term mindset it blew me away. I had a lot of trust issues to resolve before I could re-commit to anyone.