How do you handle death?

[dud]

Some of us never recover from it. I am in my 40's and am the oldest living person in the family. When I have a familt reunion I got to the cemetary. I wish I could just let it go but I felt a severe, significant loss when my parents lef me. I as on a business trip when my Dad died. It wasn't a good trip ...

 

[Fenixgoon]

we're all going to die and it's just a matter of time... unless it was someone REALLY close to me, i can't say i'd be that emotional. a girl in my class in HS died in a car accident. i hardly knew her though, so i didn't give much a reaction(and i felt bad cause everyone else was crying, heh)

 

[tweakmm]

Originally posted by: tealk
My sister died in May from cancer. Im happy for her since she's home now. She is healed! I took it well. Of course I miss her. But I will see her again soon. So no worries.

We see the purpose God described in Romans verse 28 where Paul says, ?And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.?
This is what I have found to believe from those versus that continues to help me during this time:

We find hope in God?s unfailing love, because he has set an end to this life for us. The hope we share this day is that which goes beyond the grave.

"God" is the universe, and her plan for you and everyone you love, hell everyone, is to die, decompose in the ground and return to the universe...her.
Thus completing and repeating the cycle that has been going on for longer than I can fathom.

 

[purepolly]

Slowly and compassionately. It's weird but when we have a CMO on the floor that's really when you see the team part of nursing come out - even when you don't work in a team environment. Everyone makes the time to spend observing and caring for the patient -even on the busiest of nights - you just slow down and make the mental space available. And you would think people would run from the "bagging and tagging" detail - but that really doesn't happen, rather those nurses that feel the need to spend some final time with the pt do the task. It's really a rather sweet experience to say goodbye to the gents.

Now dealing with the family can be an entirely different issue

 

[Orsorum]

I cannot erase the emptiness that exists in my soul for the people around me who have died, those that I knew well and those that I never knew at all. I cannot stop myself from clawing at fate and saying, this is not justice, this is not right. Justice cannot exist where a husband is taken from his family of 15 children and his wife in the prime of his life. Justice cannot exist where a man stands by his wife of 75 years and watches her deteriorate from coherence to incoherence and eventually death. Death does not bring healing, it just brings more misery, and loneliness, and pain.

This is not justice, I feel in my heart, except the knowledge that we all must pass and receive that cold solace. And maybe there is some comfort in that, even if it makes me withdraw even tighter into myself. It makes me more willing to forgive those that harm me and my family, because I understand how frail and ignorant we all are, how little time we have to do anything of value.

How do I handle it? I grieve internally, I cry, I kick, I scream, I write, I curl into a ball and weep. Not all at once, but usually spread over a period of several years. I try to be strong for my family and my friends, the best I can. In the end, I say goodbye, and step back onto my shaking legs, and carry on, because I am not ready to die myself. That's all any of us can do.

 

[cherrytwist]

Originally posted by: dud
Some of us never recover from it. I am in my 40's and am the oldest living person in the family. When I have a familt reunion I got to the cemetary. I wish I could just let it go but I felt a severe, significant loss when my parents lef me. I as on a business trip when my Dad died. It wasn't a good trip ...

I miss my father who passed away a few years ago. Still seems like yesterday from time to time.

 

[purepolly]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
I cannot erase the emptiness that exists in my soul for the people around me who have died, those that I knew well and those that I never knew at all. I cannot stop myself from clawing at fate and saying, this is not justice, this is not right. Justice cannot exist where a husband is taken from his family of 15 children and his wife in the prime of his life. Justice cannot exist where a man stands by his wife of 75 years and watches her deteriorate from coherence to incoherence and eventually death. Death does not bring healing, it just brings more misery, and loneliness, and pain.

This is not justice, I feel in my heart, except the knowledge that we all must pass and receive that cold solace. And maybe there is some comfort in that, even if it makes me withdraw even tighter into myself. It makes me more willing to forgive those that harm me and my family, because I understand how frail and ignorant we all are, how little time we have to do anything of value.

How do I handle it? I grieve internally, I cry, I kick, I scream, I write, I curl into a ball and weep. Not all at once, but usually spread over a period of several years. I try to be strong for my family and my friends, the best I can. In the end, I say goodbye, and step back onto my shaking legs, and carry on, because I am not ready to die myself. That's all any of us can do.

{Orsorum} and that is more than enough. Just let death be, and accept it. LThen you will be free from fear.

 

[Conky]

I feel bad for most people who die, especially decent and kind people.

But, in the end, we will all die. There is no cheating this simple truth.

 

[PrinceofWands]

It depends. It's always solemn to me (even if it's an animal), but how I react is largely dictated by my relationship to the person, and the current surrounding factors. I can stuff it down if the situation requires it for others benefit, but eventually I have to deal with it. That usually sucks. If I'm not being required to act a certain way then I generally get very emotional. I'm natually emotional anyway, and am greatly affected by the emotions of others, so it's usually pretty extreme.

 

[DurocShark]

I'm still a wreck...

My grandmother died last May. That was REALLY rough to me, and a total surprise. She had kidney cancer. Now I'm dealing with my mom who's going to die soon. Lung cancer, COPD, diabetes, osteoperosis (bones break almost daily), etc. I hope for sooner rather than later because of the hell she's going through right now. And no amount of drugs is helping her. What really sucks is she's only 57.

 

[thirdlegstump]

Originally posted by: DurocShark
I'm still a wreck...

My grandmother died last May. That was REALLY rough to me, and a total surprise. She had kidney cancer. Now I'm dealing with my mom who's going to die soon. Lung cancer, COPD, diabetes, osteoperosis (bones break almost daily), etc. I hope for sooner rather than later because of the hell she's going through right now. And no amount of drugs is helping her. What really sucks is she's only 57.

I feel your pain Duroc. My mother also has lung cancer as well as spinal cancer that's inhibiting her from walking which at one point totally paralyzed her legs. She's even younger at 47.

I'm not afraid of death but there are things I want to accomplish in life. Not sure what I even think of it but it's not scary.