How do you handle death?

[lokiju]

Just wondering what everyone else felt on the subject since it seems like such a range of views seem to vary from person to person.

Edited:

Maybe that was to much personal info?

 

[David Webb]

I seem to handle it rather well. By 'well', I mean I feel/show very little emotion. Both of my parents died in recent years, and I was surprisingly unreactive to it. I have no idea why. It actually bothers me a little.

 

[LordMorpheus]

Originally posted by: David Webb
I seem to handle it rather well. By 'well', I mean I feel/show very little emotion. Both of my parents died in recent years, and I was surprisingly unreactive to it. I have no idea why. It actually bothers me a little.

welcome to ATOT.

Only family I've lost was my grandfather about 8 years ago. I was faily close but I didn't get all that emotional - I felt bad because everyone else was and I faked some, though.

I don't know how I'd handle losing someone closer.

 

[Unheard]

The only time I have had to deal with death in my 22 years of life was when I lost my best friend in high school. I found that I became very much a seperatist. I didn't want to talk about it, and I didn't want to be around anyone else who had connections with him. It took a good year or so before I was finally able to bring him up and hold regular conversations about him. I had great feelings of guilt, thoughts that I should have been able to do something to prevent his death (a result of a drug overdose, and I could go into a lengthy discussion on our friendship and how we were both into things, and then I got out, but here is not the place), and it still haunts me in the back of my head. But as the years have passed (5 years now) I have almost let go of any repressed feelings that I had. Things are much easier now when a conversation comes about him, but I still do get choked up when I visit his grave, or see something that reminds me of him. Just remember, time heals all wounds, and death is a big mother fvcking wound.

RIP Jon.

 

[Estrella]

almost nothing, when one is gone they are gone

 

[Lola]

i go in stages of dealing with it.
Depending on the quickness of the death, the person, etc.
For very close loved ones, if they have been suffering for a long time, eventhough i am sad to have them pass, i know that they no longer have to be in pain.
I still grieve and cry but i find myself doing those things at the onset of knowing their passing and then at the end of the funneral. Durring the wake, i am fine.

I will be honest though, with my Cahtolic family, there are certain songs that are played at the funeral mass... when i hear that song then... that is the lowest point for me for some reason.

I do not ignore the fact that someone died, i accept it as best i can, even if that includes crying.

 

[iamme]

the only person close to me who has died, was my grandfather.

it was tough because we have a big family, who are all very close.

because of my spiritual beliefs, it made coping easier. i still miss him and think about him from time to time, but i do believe he's in a better place. also, i believe those around him are better because of him, so i'm more happy than sad when i remember him.

 

[UTmtnbiker]

I think it depends a lot on your relationship with the person that passed.

My grandfather passed away 3 weeks ago. I considered myself very close to him, probably between my sister and me, we had the closest relationships with him out of 16 grandchildren. I was pretty sad, especially early on, when he was on his death bed and we could all tell the inevitable was going to happen. It was a short time later that he passed, but by the time of the funeral, most of my emotions (EMO!) were played out. I had to (wanted to) give an eulogy, and I got a little choked up then, but not too badly.

I also think the older you get the more death starts to affect you. ATOT is predominantly teens and 20-somethings. I'm hitting my mid 30's and although death isn't around the corner, the idea of living forever isn't there either. I've started to accept my own mortality, which I think will really hit me when our first kid comes.

 

[Syrch]

MY uncle died years ago of cancer in his bones. It was somethign that we knew was going to happen after he was diagnosed. Being it was something that was expected I was able to take it well but when i saw my mother (his sister) just about on her knees in tears...that got me. Still does actually..

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: David Webb
I seem to handle it rather well. By 'well', I mean I feel/show very little emotion. Both of my parents died in recent years, and I was surprisingly unreactive to it. I have no idea why. It actually bothers me a little.

Welcome, sorry to have such a downer subject be used for your first post.

I'm the same way though with the most recent being my grandpa's passing last year, I didn't get upset of cry or anything like that. I was pretty close with him also, not like a grandparent I never saw or anything like that, I was sad he was gone also just not "torn up" about it I guess.

 

[Patt]

I dealt with the passing of my brother well, mainly because I had to. My parents reverted to the opposite end of the spectrum, and I had to care for them, and be strong for them because when I didn't hold it together, they sure as hell didn't.

 

[Mucho]

I always look at the stiff and say to myself, "hmm your troubles are now over."

 

[monk3y]

To be honest... no one REALLY close to me has passed away. My grandparents were the 'closest' and I only cried for one of their deaths. I know my parents death will cause me an emense amount of pain. I am positive I will lose it.

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: Mucho
I always look at the stiff and say to myself, "hmm your troubles are now over."

Every time I've ever been to an open casket I always think "thats not them".

It just to me is a shell that housed the person that I knew.

 

[nakedfrog]

I'm not sure, I haven't died yet.

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog
I'm not sure, I haven't died yet.

:Hit's nakedfrog over had with stick;

Ugg.

Should have seen that coming

 

[tealk]

My sister died in May from cancer. Im happy for her since she's home now. She is healed! I took it well. Of course I miss her. But I will see her again soon. So no worries.

We see the purpose God described in Romans verse 28 where Paul says, ?And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.?
This is what I have found to believe from those versus that continues to help me during this time:

We find hope in God?s unfailing love, because he has set an end to this life for us. The hope we share this day is that which goes beyond the grave.

 

[DaShen]

Depends on the person, but death affects me only slightly if I am not close to the person. When it is someone I know, the reason it affects me is I begin to miss that person's company (it is the same feeling you get when a friend moves away, except you know you won't see them till you are dead).

Dying doesn't scare me all that much though (dying unfulfilled/unaccomplished, dying horribly, or dying alone scares me a bit)

 

[David Webb]

Thanks for the welcome everyone. Don't worry about the solemn subject. Like I said, it doesn't seem to affect me like it does most people. I loved my parents and I miss them a lot, but I was pretty deadpan during both events. Wish I could exlain/change it...

 

[krunchykrome]

I only knew 1 person close enough that when he passed away, I didnt handle it well. I got myself piss drunk, drank some more, drove my car an hour to my ex's house and cried.

That guy was a friend. Im not sure if I would react to a death in my family the same way or differently.

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: David Webb
Thanks for the welcome everyone. Don't worry about the solemn subject. Like I said, it doesn't seem to affect me like it does most people. I loved my parents and I miss them a lot, but I was pretty deadpan during both events. Wish I could exlain/change it...

:laugh:

Here we are all welcoming this "new" user and it was really jborne77 before his perma-ban from yesterday.

 

[The Green Bean]

When my baby sister passed away, it was very hard to control my tears but I never "lost it" Same thing happened when my grandfather passed awy a few months later.

 

[TraumaRN]

I hate to say it but I'm fairly cold to death. No pun intended. At my current job I've 'tagged and bagged' as we affectionately call it 7 people in barely a year of work. Once i transfer down to ER it'll probably be more. The latest patient to die kinda got me tho just because he was only 56. And my dad is 55 so it freaked me out a little bit. Plus we couldnt get his eyes to stay shut. Beyond that tho, it didnt/doesnt phase me anymore.

I view it as something natural and they are at peace and home with God. They shall suffer no more.

 

[dud]

 

[tweakmm]

Death is just another part of life.

I've had conversations with my mom about how I'm not going to be sad when she or my father passes and she thinks I'm right on the money. I mean, I'll certainly miss them to some degree, but seriously, that's what people do...die.
She has this strange idea of wanting to have her funeral at a restaurant, although generally I definitely think she's thinking upon the right lines.
I'd like people to have a huge ass party in celebration of my life, instead of mourning my death.