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How do you get your other to clean up after themself?
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43st
Diamond Member
I have the exact same situation.
We've lived together for 4 years now and I must admit it's getting better. I simply don't beat around the bush anymore. If I want the kitchen floor to be cleaned I simply say "please clean the kitchen floor today sometime". What doesn't work is "why is the kitchen floor so dirty?" and "wow... look at that dirty kitchen floor!"
She also has some other rather bad habits that drive me nuts. She tears the paper towel sheets so they rip at one corner. I've ended up just removing the ripped parts and hiding them in her wallet or work bag. But that's more in fun than anything else. It gives me an outlet and it gives her something to laugh at when she finds a new paper towel corner.
It does get better, or at least it can. You just need to be honest about it with her.
We've lived together for 4 years now and I must admit it's getting better. I simply don't beat around the bush anymore. If I want the kitchen floor to be cleaned I simply say "please clean the kitchen floor today sometime". What doesn't work is "why is the kitchen floor so dirty?" and "wow... look at that dirty kitchen floor!"
She also has some other rather bad habits that drive me nuts. She tears the paper towel sheets so they rip at one corner. I've ended up just removing the ripped parts and hiding them in her wallet or work bag. But that's more in fun than anything else. It gives me an outlet and it gives her something to laugh at when she finds a new paper towel corner.
It does get better, or at least it can. You just need to be honest about it with her.
imported_Strang
Platinum Member
And a pancake.
MomAndSkoorbaby
Diamond Member
Skoorbie is pretty darn untidy. He gets threatened, yelled at and bascially I beat him up until he gets his act in gear. 😛 He won't fight back his pregnant wife either! For the most part, he does what he is told. 😀
Anubis
No Lifer
DrPizza
Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Welcome to my world. Kids are the same way. It's not that it's dirty, just a lack of organization, or the finishing touches. Examples: miscellaneous dirty dishes throughout the day are placed in the sink. But, 3/4 of the time, the person who washes the dishes does everything but drain the sink... so, the dishes sit in the sink water all day. By the time I get around to the dishes, the water is cold, and filled with floating uneaten cereal, etc. Rather than rinse, it just goes into the water. (and why can't they rinse and put them in the dishwasher??)
But, if that's your biggest complaint about your significant other, then forget about it... hopefully you can deal with just one thing. Her biggest complaint about me would probably be that it takes forever for me to finish home projects. We remodeled the kitchen - I still have 2 pieces of tile to put in, and scrape the paint from the windows (didn't mask - but I'm not the one who painted them)... it'd probably take 10 minutes total, but it's been about a month now.
But, if that's your biggest complaint about your significant other, then forget about it... hopefully you can deal with just one thing. Her biggest complaint about me would probably be that it takes forever for me to finish home projects. We remodeled the kitchen - I still have 2 pieces of tile to put in, and scrape the paint from the windows (didn't mask - but I'm not the one who painted them)... it'd probably take 10 minutes total, but it's been about a month now.
imported_Strang
Platinum Member
No, but a pancake is still funnier than butter.
imported_Strang
Platinum Member
My gf is fairly neat on most days, but thinks that the house is always messy, so she will actually schedule us to have guests in the house so that she has the motivation to give it a full-on cleaning. I'm a little sloppy myself and so we balance out okay (although I'm sure she would disagree -- I could see her making the original post).
Babbles
Diamond Member
My woman is like that and it is driving me crazy. It is so bad now that it is really affecting my relationship with her. I am somewhat anal in how I keep things, but I do think I am reasonable around the house (yes I live with her in her house). I don't think it is a big deal to maybe kick off your shoes into a no-shoe zone, but they out to be put in their place eventually.
Anyhow, somebody else mentioned the kitchen and that is the worse problem for her. She loves to cook but she is entirely too lazy to clean up, even stupid little things like putting broken eggshells in the trash. The kitchen just totally disgusts me, and it has beaten me down and frankly I just dont' feel like cleaning it anymore.
In our computer/office room thing (where we probably spend most of our time) there is just junk all over the place. I have felt embarassed as hell when we had to have the cable guy come over then again when the AC repair guy. In fact now I refuse to be in the house if somebody does have to come over because I just feel too embarassed to be seen living with her pig-sty lifestyle.
Anyhow, like the original poster mentioned, I really do care about my girl and all, but this is just getting to be too big of a deal for me.
You should see the lawn 🙁
Anyhow, somebody else mentioned the kitchen and that is the worse problem for her. She loves to cook but she is entirely too lazy to clean up, even stupid little things like putting broken eggshells in the trash. The kitchen just totally disgusts me, and it has beaten me down and frankly I just dont' feel like cleaning it anymore.
In our computer/office room thing (where we probably spend most of our time) there is just junk all over the place. I have felt embarassed as hell when we had to have the cable guy come over then again when the AC repair guy. In fact now I refuse to be in the house if somebody does have to come over because I just feel too embarassed to be seen living with her pig-sty lifestyle.
Anyhow, like the original poster mentioned, I really do care about my girl and all, but this is just getting to be too big of a deal for me.
You should see the lawn 🙁
I've got a good friend who has been married to a woman for 5 years now and
she has 2 adult children living with her and him and he's told me stories that
would curl your hair about the filth and mess in her house (she was married
before and he moved in with her after they married so it's not actually his house).
I'm not talking about leaving a few things laying around.....I'm talking about
food laying around for weeks and laundry laying in the floor and never
hanging anything up. If you want a shirt or a pair of blue jeans you go and
pick them up out of a pile. They had 2 dogs living in the house and if the dogs
threw up or pooped in the house the kids and mom would just lay a napkin over
the spot on the carpet and it would stay there.
After 5 years he's had enough of the filth and he's moved out and filed for divorce
because she will not admit that she has a problem or get counseling about her problem.
He was ashamed to tell me about what he's been dealing with for the last 5 years and
sounds like he has really done everything he can (short of living in this squallor) until he's
finally moved out.
Said he and the wife slept on the fold out couch the 1st year they were married because
she didn't want her son to have to give up the master bedroom. The son was going to get
married and moved out for about 3 months and in the meanwhile they moved into the bedroom
and when the son moved back in he took the fold out couch.
Her children are in their mid 20's and don't work and are not concerned about getting
a job as long as mom pays their bills every month.
So what am I saying? If you are even considering marrying this person
make sure you can deal with her bad habits.......because people generally
don't change just because they are married and it's only because my friend
really believes in his marriage vows that it has taken this long for him to reach
the breaking point or he would have been out of there within the 1st month.
she has 2 adult children living with her and him and he's told me stories that
would curl your hair about the filth and mess in her house (she was married
before and he moved in with her after they married so it's not actually his house).
I'm not talking about leaving a few things laying around.....I'm talking about
food laying around for weeks and laundry laying in the floor and never
hanging anything up. If you want a shirt or a pair of blue jeans you go and
pick them up out of a pile. They had 2 dogs living in the house and if the dogs
threw up or pooped in the house the kids and mom would just lay a napkin over
the spot on the carpet and it would stay there.
After 5 years he's had enough of the filth and he's moved out and filed for divorce
because she will not admit that she has a problem or get counseling about her problem.
He was ashamed to tell me about what he's been dealing with for the last 5 years and
sounds like he has really done everything he can (short of living in this squallor) until he's
finally moved out.
Said he and the wife slept on the fold out couch the 1st year they were married because
she didn't want her son to have to give up the master bedroom. The son was going to get
married and moved out for about 3 months and in the meanwhile they moved into the bedroom
and when the son moved back in he took the fold out couch.
Her children are in their mid 20's and don't work and are not concerned about getting
a job as long as mom pays their bills every month.
So what am I saying? If you are even considering marrying this person
make sure you can deal with her bad habits.......because people generally
don't change just because they are married and it's only because my friend
really believes in his marriage vows that it has taken this long for him to reach
the breaking point or he would have been out of there within the 1st month.
azazyel
Diamond Member
A few things you can do..
Set a cleaning day, you take something and she takes something. For most women I would imagine that the closet is her weak spot. So, you do a bathroom she does her room. Also, it may help just to be in the room while she is cleaning to give her some company/conversation.
Take pictures of her room, blow them up and tape them to the door.
Remove the door and invite company over. Tell her that her parents are comming over in 2 hours, you will see some real cleaning then.
Ask her to invite her mom over to help her clean.
Set a cleaning day, you take something and she takes something. For most women I would imagine that the closet is her weak spot. So, you do a bathroom she does her room. Also, it may help just to be in the room while she is cleaning to give her some company/conversation.
Take pictures of her room, blow them up and tape them to the door.
Remove the door and invite company over. Tell her that her parents are comming over in 2 hours, you will see some real cleaning then.
Ask her to invite her mom over to help her clean.
BatmanNate
Lifer
Or the freezer. Trust me, they really hate that.
GTaudiophile
Lifer
What have you done with Skoorbie? Locked him in the dungeon?
imported_Strang
Platinum Member
That idea makes me wish my gf was messier.
:evil:
GTaudiophile
Lifer
When I was at Tech, one of my roommate's GFs left her USED tampons more or less in the open, like wrapped in kleenex on the bathroom sink. WTF?!?
imported_Strang
Platinum Member
I wish the "disgusted" emoticon was more appropriate specifically for moments like this.
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