How do you get your other to clean up after themself?

[eno]

Been dating her for the last 6 years.

One big thing is how she keeps her living quarters. I am not super super clean but I do like somewhat of a organized living area. She will make some mac n cheese then just let the box chill on the counter for a couple days unless I throw it away for her. Now granted she doesn't ALWAYS do this but it is defiently on a regular basis leaving stuff around the house. She will get ready in the mourning and place cloths all around the house. Leave her bras hanging in the bathroom to dry all day (sometimes week). I noticed this trait when I first started dating her, I saw her room and it was hella tore up, cloths hanging over everything, random S*** here and there, everywhere. Half empty/full glasses of whatever chilln around the house. Basically what you would call a pig pen. Wouldn't exactly say dirty like cornchips smashed into the carpet but basically no since of order or cleanlyness.

I have talked with her about it and she tries to turn it around on me. I mean I can just pick up after her but that just seems kinda lame. Her mother was one to pick up after her all the time.

I am not trying to change her as a person but how to coax someone into living a little bit cleaner. I know it must sound silly but its a pain in the ass. I am the type that likes to get chores n stuff completed before I can truly kick back and relax. If the house is a mess I have to at least pick up and do a quick vaccum.

I didn't spend a whole lot of time trying to express all that I am trying to say so feel free to ask away.

 

[AlienCraft]

Welcome to being her bitch. First she had Mommy, now she has you.
Move out, that'll do it.

 

[eno]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft
Welcome to being her bitch. First she had Mommy, now she has you.
Move out, that'll do it.

Well of course thats a option, but i love her to death and can't see myself living the rest of my life with anyone else, its just a thorn in my side.

 

[MichaelD]

Like most women, your GF is a slob. I have been faced with the same situation with 99% of the women I've dated in the past 15 years.

Women are bigger pigs than men, actually.

Unfortunately, the one woman I dated that was as neurotic about housekeeping as I am is also an emotionally dependent, unable to hold a job, psycho bitch.

Which brings me around to the statements:

1. ALL women are psycho. Some less than others, but they all are looney toons

2. Women: You can't shoot them, and you can't have a heterosexual relationship without them

 

[IamElectro]

My girl is the same way sometimes. Just stand behind her and ask her if shes gonna clean that up when shes done it works for me. Be warned she will get p!ssed, but after a few times of nagging her she will get the idea.

 

[Fiveohhh]

I'm in the same boat., but just with kitchen stuff she's tidy everywhere else...

 

[silverpig]

Clean her stuff up for her and put it in very random places.

Like once her bras are dry, stick them in the hallway closet. When she bitches, tell her if she didn't want you cleaning up her sh!t, then she should do it herself.

 

[bolido2000]

I'm very fortunate that my gf is pretty much like me when it comes to tidiness
My sister is like your gf tho.

 

[eno]

When I nag her , its brings back feelins of her old bossy prick of a step dad, so any time I hint to pick up after her she kinda clams up and acts as if I am trying to be her father.

 

[zzzz]

refuse to have sex with her.

 

[eno]

Originally posted by: zzzz
refuse to have sex with her.

Ouch....

 

[eno]

BTT

 

[eno]

Originally posted by: oniq
DH ITB. Then DTB.

Edit: DH ITB without the space is a censored word? WTF?

Not even sure what that means? What is ATOT as well why I am asking.

 

[waggy]

I can tell you from experience IF you do not like it or put a stop to it now GET A NEW GF.

My wife is the same way. She will make something and leave the package on the counter. I have tried letting the place get so dirty she gets tired of it. But i don't think there is a point where she gets tired of cleaning.

I have fought with her over the 8 years we been living together. she keeps saying she will start but never does.

TRUST me when i say if you don't like it now MOVE ON.

 

[Bowmaster]

Things like this will only get worse. She won't change and it'll drive you more and more nuts. You can either pick up after her FOREVER - and accept it - or leave her for someone who doesn't do this.

 

[shimsham]

im sure you have a friend that always gives her a hard time, right? just have him over one day when the house is mess and let him start commenting on it. one of two things will happen: she will be embarrassed, get the hint, and change or she will attack him(as my wife wanted to).

i was lucky, as my wife and i both grew out of our slob stage now that we own a home and have children.

 

[eno]

I am hoping once I buy a home and get married* that she will kick into more of a grown up mode and start living cleaner since there will be kids around , but you never know, it could just stay like that forever. But its not as easy as just "leaving her". I love her to death and can't see myself with anyone else, we have been together 6 years.

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

What is ATOT as well why I am asking.

AnandTech Off Topic.

 

[imported_Strang]

Originally posted by: eno
I am hoping once I buy a home and get married* that she will kick into more of a grown up mode and start living cleaner since there will be kids around , but you never know, it could just stay like that forever. But its not as easy as just "leaving her". I love her to death and can't see myself with anyone else, we have been together 6 years.

Don't count on her changing after you get married. Everyone seems to think that all of their SOs bad traits will disappear after marriage b/c they'll instantly be more mature. If anything, she'll just get fat while she's being messy and lazy.

(hey, someone was gonna say it.)

 

[Azraele]

A clean house is a happy house, just don't go so far as Danny Tanner clean on her.

Perhaps a bit of reverse psychology (ie you leave a nasty mess and see how she reacts)?

Or maybe share the chores (make a chore list) so you're not having to clean up after her all the time? That way she can see that it's a shared effort.

 

[Kipper]

I think that's cool...I'm pretty messy myself. Clean up every so often, but only when things get too messy and get in the way. Hyper-neat people disturb me. A lot.

 

[jeep02tj]

Do what I do to my dog and rub her nose in it.

 

[maziwanka]

you'd think after 6 yrs you could just tell her.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

Originally posted by: zzzz
refuse to have sex with her.

That doesn't help you now does it....

 

[eno]

Originally posted by: MadCowDisease
I think that's cool...I'm pretty messy myself. Clean up every so often, but only when things get too messy and get in the way. Hyper-neat people disturb me. A lot.

Like I said first and foremost, I am not super clean myself, I don't have to open doors 3 times each time I pass through it or get the shakes when I see dust, no , not at all, I am talking about her leaving the house unorganized usually everyday before she heads off to work. She will sit and do her makeup as she watches some good mourning show , then when I ask her if she can help me pick up before she leaves, she looks at me like I am insane, " I only have 10mins before I can leave". This just happened no less then 15mins ago, will this ever stop. I dont expect her to be able to clean if she has to leave for work but wasting time everyday before and after work and not setting some time aside to live even somewhat organized.

I like the idea of making a list, but its not just the chores like mopping the kitchen every other week, its just random stuff like put away S*** that you use, don't leave a brownie box on the counter top with a brownie pan empty full of crumbs for 4days.(she damn good looking and not fat, trust me)

Making my head spin cause she tries to turn it around on me!