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How do you get more gratification out of work/life?

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Originally posted by: DigDug
Raised as a Buddhist, I guess my philosophy above is obviously influenced by Buddhist principles, but I don't see anything wrong with that. I never saw the appeal of Western religion's way of taking responsibility off of man and placing it upon something to which man can fear, worship, love, and hate.

That's a problem with today's "religion". God was never meant to be a scapegoat. The entire purpose of the bible's history - Noah, Moses, Jesus - was to make Mankind responsible for their actions. Being cast out of the garden for eating the forbidden fruit, the flood, the plagues, wandering the desert for 40 years, etc. But not of this was religion - it was education, direction, inspiration. Then we end up with doctrines that totally missed the point. Confession and communion were not supposed to be free cards. Just a way to ease your guilt and give you some ease of mind. Your life is the real test, and too often I see christians forget this - so many people so misled... Jesus was meant to be a mentor, not a Santa Claus you ask for presents from once a year.

Buddhism is inspiring, I like the concept of Karma. But just as with any religion, I observe a flaw in it's practice, I have seen people try buddhism, people that are sick of christianity and what they perceive it to mean - but if that person is already troubled, they never grow because they have no mentor. No example - just another scapegoat to use.
 
Originally posted by: SP33Demon
Originally posted by: acemcmac
In each of my three jobs, the attitute is always completly unappreciative and a "you need us more than we need you" mentality. Everyone in my life treats me like sh!t except for my buddies. I go through girls like tissues. Academics completley fail to motivate me... I'm in college just to get a lousy piece of paper that will declare me qualified to do things I could have done out of high-school. My life has no direction at all. The only serious goal I currently have in my life is to get a second, signifigantly faster car (you guys remember my trans am threads im sure), but being a college kid and thus having no credit, unless my dad cosigns, the financing will be completley impractical, thus making a dumb idea (temporary gratification from material gain) even more of a dumb idea.

Oh, and it's not anxiety over the career future either. I'm pretty much on an idiot proof track of connections leading to connections which will virtually gaurentee me a very secure and well paying upper level IT management job, if for any reason I decide not to persue an even more lucrative career on the legal side of IT compliance.

Thus my original question.

How do you get more gratification out of work/life? It's not material, and it's not getting back to nature (I catch at least two sunsets a week and frequently stargaze), and im fairly sure that it's not something I'm going to find in a relationship. I've done well in the past simply trying to make other people happy, but it always seems to blow up in my face somehow. I also have stalkers for this reason.

sorry for the long post, but I think that this is the first time I have ever been able to get all of my thoughts down in one place and organized... this has been on my back ever since my last steady girl dumped me (she cheated on me) just prior to thanksgiving.
What you face is not a common problem, many college kids have to face this question. It's basically, what makes me happy in life? What do I enjoy doing? This will lead you to either what you want to do as a career and/or a hobby. You said you like fast cars, and are "well off". Why not try rebuilding muscle cars? Ever think of being a mechanic as a career? You should probably take a "career compatibility" text. Most colleges offer them. This could help you in your search for happiness... who says IT is the way to go? Maybe designing fast cars would give you more gratitude?

I could co-host top gear. :beer: 😉

Watching that guy flog the stuffing out of that ferarri climbing the alps.... I'd kill to do something like that for a living lol

to be on that kind of mission... to have such a clear purpose... I can relate to that on such a deep level.... lol
 
Originally posted by: shuan24
just relax dude....take a hit or two...

Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, join a band, write a book, help the needy, cut the grass......

First of all, Alcohol is a drug. Drug will always drive you futher into depression. They are temporailiy ways to make you feel good. They will not last forever, this is the same thing with sex. You can bang as many sluts as you want, but what happens when your 30? or 40? or 50 years old? As for religion, well its pretty much bullsh1t. I mean honestly, do you really beileve someone rose from the dead to die for us? Do you think there is some kind of system that measures that amount of bad things we did? Religion is the wrong path, but if it makes truely makes you feel have a meaning in life then good for you. Just don't enforce them on other people. 😉
 
Originally posted by: acemcmac
Originally posted by: SP33Demon
Originally posted by: acemcmac
In each of my three jobs, the attitute is always completly unappreciative and a "you need us more than we need you" mentality. Everyone in my life treats me like sh!t except for my buddies. I go through girls like tissues. Academics completley fail to motivate me... I'm in college just to get a lousy piece of paper that will declare me qualified to do things I could have done out of high-school. My life has no direction at all. The only serious goal I currently have in my life is to get a second, signifigantly faster car (you guys remember my trans am threads im sure), but being a college kid and thus having no credit, unless my dad cosigns, the financing will be completley impractical, thus making a dumb idea (temporary gratification from material gain) even more of a dumb idea.

Oh, and it's not anxiety over the career future either. I'm pretty much on an idiot proof track of connections leading to connections which will virtually gaurentee me a very secure and well paying upper level IT management job, if for any reason I decide not to persue an even more lucrative career on the legal side of IT compliance.

Thus my original question.

How do you get more gratification out of work/life? It's not material, and it's not getting back to nature (I catch at least two sunsets a week and frequently stargaze), and im fairly sure that it's not something I'm going to find in a relationship. I've done well in the past simply trying to make other people happy, but it always seems to blow up in my face somehow. I also have stalkers for this reason.

sorry for the long post, but I think that this is the first time I have ever been able to get all of my thoughts down in one place and organized... this has been on my back ever since my last steady girl dumped me (she cheated on me) just prior to thanksgiving.
What you face is not a common problem, many college kids have to face this question. It's basically, what makes me happy in life? What do I enjoy doing? This will lead you to either what you want to do as a career and/or a hobby. You said you like fast cars, and are "well off". Why not try rebuilding muscle cars? Ever think of being a mechanic as a career? You should probably take a "career compatibility" text. Most colleges offer them. This could help you in your search for happiness... who says IT is the way to go? Maybe designing fast cars would give you more gratitude?

I could co-host top gear. :beer: 😉

Watching that guy flog the stuffing out of that ferarri climbing the alps.... I'd kill to do something like that for a living lol

to be on that kind of mission... to have such a clear purpose... I can relate to that on such a deep level.... lol
There ya go. Since you're well off, why not open up a garage? In your free time, you could rebuild classic engines, or "supe" up modern ones. You would have very good connections to get these parts cheap. At the same time, you are helping people while facing the responsibilities of running your own business! 🙂
 
Originally posted by: acemcmac
In each of my three jobs, the attitute is always completly unappreciative and a "you need us more than we need you" mentality. Everyone in my life treats me like sh!t except for my buddies. I go through girls like tissues. Academics completley fail to motivate me... I'm in college just to get a lousy piece of paper that will declare me qualified to do things I could have done out of high-school. My life has no direction at all. The only serious goal I currently have in my life is to get a second, signifigantly faster car (you guys remember my trans am threads im sure), but being a college kid and thus having no credit, unless my dad cosigns, the financing will be completley impractical, thus making a dumb idea (temporary gratification from material gain) even more of a dumb idea.

Oh, and it's not anxiety over the career future either. I'm pretty much on an idiot proof track of connections leading to connections which will virtually gaurentee me a very secure and well paying upper level IT management job, if for any reason I decide not to persue an even more lucrative career on the legal side of IT compliance.

Thus my original question.

How do you get more gratification out of work/life? It's not material, and it's not getting back to nature (I catch at least two sunsets a week and frequently stargaze), and im fairly sure that it's not something I'm going to find in a relationship. I've done well in the past simply trying to make other people happy, but it always seems to blow up in my face somehow. I also have stalkers for this reason.

sorry for the long post, but I think that this is the first time I have ever been able to get all of my thoughts down in one place and organized... this has been on my back ever since my last steady girl dumped me (she cheated on me) just prior to thanksgiving.

First off, it's common to be depressed around the holidays, very common, the whammy of your GF & the holidays is prob what got you into this slump.

Second off-the whole car thing is a fools game, sure they're cool, but I promise you you're not that shallow that a physical posession will change your life, beyond the basics, food, clothing, shelter & transportation.

It appears you're looking for meaning & perhaps being afraid there may be no deeper meaning in life.

It's also normal to question these issues @ your age.

Fact is, wether life has any meaning beyond an involuntary muscle spasm or two and a pleasant taste in your mouth has been debated since before written history, you're not going to find any simple answers here.

Spend some time with family & people that care about you if you can, maybe go to church or check out a book on philosophy.

You may be taking the first step towards your own personal enlightenment😀

edit, you're going to have to explain the stalkers though😉
 
That's a problem with today's "religion". God was never meant to be a scapegoat. The entire purpose of the bible's history - Noah, Moses, Jesus - was to make Mankind responsible for their actions. Being cast out of the garden for eating the forbidden fruit, the flood, the plagues, wandering the desert for 40 years, etc. But not of this was religion - it was education, direction, inspiration. Then we end up with doctrines that totally missed the point. Confession and communion were not supposed to be free cards. Just a way to ease your guilt and give you some ease of mind. Your life is the real test, and too often I see christians forget this - so many people so misled... Jesus was meant to be a mentor, not a Santa Claus you ask for presents from once a year.

That may be true, but the reality is that you are a Christian as defined by belief and not behavior. That fundamental principle sets the tone for "cookbooking" religion in the Western context - people think that if they believe, then action becomes irrelevant. The result is what we see today.

Buddhism's whole point is to shy away from ritual and belief. Though, there is some circularity with a religion that says that belief is not necessary, as Buddhism does, the man points I believe are valid:

1. That life is suffering. Not in the pessimistic since of that sentence, but rather, that life consists of pain interspersed throughout.
2. That our pain comes from our attachment to things, our unwillingness to accept that transient nature of everything around us. No matter what we say, our pain comes from the fact that we fear change, crave stability and reassurance, and dread being alone or without.
3. That once we internalize the transient nature of things, and truly see things as they are and not as we want them and hope them to be, what buddhists call "looking through defiled lenses", or insecurity and fear, and desire for peak experience goes away, leaving a stable contentment and peace of true awareness. (This is called "enlightenment").

Why I am drawn to this:
1. There's no doctrinal demand, like in western religion: The Buddha himself said not to believe what he says because he says it, but to observe life and you'll begin to see, even despite the warped view we have, that the above makes sense.
2. That our position is defined by our behavior and NOT our belief: there's no attempt or temptation to pay lip-service to the religion by just wearing a pendant and going to a church on sunday. Either you are being buddhist or you are not. Its a way of life. I remember growing up and watching my mother say things like "Mother Theresa was an amazing Buddhist". To me, that perfectly demonstrates what Buddhism truly is.
3. That is makes sense with prevailing science: The concept of karma is simply Newton's law. Engaging in meritoriosu behavior precipitates its return upon you, and the same with bad behavior. While our meritorious or bad action may not be the same as a rock falling to the ground, it is action nonetheless and it is interesting to see that it obeys the same laws.
4. It's sensible: placing this against religions that speak of earth being created in six days, and angels and demons and all that, it isn't really much of a choice for me. 🙂
5. Its completely passive: Not one DROP of blood has been spilled in the name of Buddhism. The only death I can think of has been monks who went on hunger strikes or set fire to themselves to protest.
 
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