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How do you constitute a real friend?

C

CoolTech

Platinum Member
So, my one friend usually picks me up around the front of this building when I get off work. One day, Im like, can you pick me up around the back, and he says some snive remark about me walking or taking the bus or him not coming unless I met him out front. Is this what a true friend would do? I mean the back and front are a few hundred feet apart and he is in a vehicle. Whenever he needs something, I am there for him, but for some reason he is reluctant to go the extra mile for me. He even had the nerve to say, you should be happy you even got a ride. Am I wrong in being offended and disgruntled about this so-called friend?
 
Originally posted by: CoolTech
Am I wrong in being offended and disgruntled about this so-called friend?
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He is doing you a favor. If you don't like his terms, find some other way home.

 
Originally posted by: CoolTech
So, my one friend usually picks me up around the front of this building when I get off work. One day, Im like, can you pick me up around the back, and he says some snive remark about me walking or taking the bus or him not coming unless I met him out front. Is this what a true friend would do? I mean the back and front are a few hundred feet apart and he is in a vehicle. Whenever he needs something, I am there for him, but for some reason he is reluctant to go the extra mile for me. He even had the nerve to say, you should be happy you even got a ride. Am I wrong in being offended and disgruntled about this so-called friend?
Click to expand...

🙁
 
Originally posted by: minendo
Originally posted by: CoolTech
Am I wrong in being offended and disgruntled about this so-called friend?
Click to expand...
He is doing you a favor. If you don't like his terms, find some other way home.
Click to expand...


If I were doing the same favor, I would not bitch to go the extra 200ft, this is my point, its more principle than anything. The relationship doesnt seem reciprocal in nature.
 
Originally posted by: minendo
Originally posted by: CoolTech
Am I wrong in being offended and disgruntled about this so-called friend?
Click to expand...
He is doing you a favor. If you don't like his terms, find some other way home.
Click to expand...


Granted, beggars can't be choosers, but yeah he does soud like an asshat.

If he does not give fully and willingly, if he gives with stipulations and reservations then I'd say he's not really giving at all. He's enduring granting you a favor because he thinks he has to, not because he wants to. That being the case, I'd say you should just ask him to stop coming since it appears to be such a burden on him.
 
Originally posted by: CoolTech
The relationship doesnt seem reciprocal in nature.
Click to expand...
What is he? Your lover. So you go the extra distance and he does not. Big deal. He is still picking you up and that should be enough. You are obviously not grateful for that so walk home.

 
I think your friend sounds like a dick in this case, but I wouldn't base an evaluation of your friendship on one incident. Unless he does this kind of thing all the time and you really do go out of your way for him a lot, I'd let it drop....
 
Originally posted by: CoolTech

If I were doing the same favor, I would not bitch to go the extra 200ft, this is my point, its more principle than anything. The relationship doesnt seem reciprocal in nature.
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Are you paying him gas money?

I assume there's more circumstance beyond what was presented above, but I'm not seeing the reciprocity here.
 
Originally posted by: minendo
Originally posted by: CoolTech
Am I wrong in being offended and disgruntled about this so-called friend?
Click to expand...
He is doing you a favor. If you don't like his terms, find some other way home.
Click to expand...

*ding* Correct answer.

I once was picking up a coworker every day b/c he wrecked his car and he said it would be a few weeks until he had $$$ to buy a new one. He really had no other way to get to work, so I figured I'd do the right thing.

He lived about a 10-minute drive "out of my way." After about four days I said "um...I'm low on gas..." So, I pull into the gas station, put it in park...and sat there....and waited for him to reach for his wallet. He just sat there.

I said "hey, I could use some help with gas money." *hint-hint!*

His response was "oh, I don't have it...I'm saving for a car. :|

Needless to say, that didn't go over too well w/me.

Don't be an ungrateful bastard. If he wants you to come out of a different exit every single day, you should still kiss his toes that he's being nice enough to drive you around!
 
A real friend doesn't sleep with your girlfriend. :disgust: :frown:

but, yeah.. he sounds like an ass. I wouldn't mind doing that for one of my closer friends.
 
Originally posted by: CoolTech
The relationship doesnt seem reciprocal in nature.
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You're right, it doesn't. It seems like he gives you rides home, and you give him nothing but a hard time about how he should pick you up somewhere else.
 
he doesnt give rides all the time, he has maybe picked me up 5 to 6 times, over the last semester. Also, this was one of the only times I asked him to pick me up around back and he bitched about it. AND IF HE EVER EVER EVER NEEDS ANYTHING FROM ME LIKE THIS. I DO NOT BITCH LIKE THIS. I EVEN OFFER FAVORS IF I SENSE HE NEEDS THEM.
 
Originally posted by: CoolTech
he doesnt give rides all the time, he has maybe picked me up 5 to 6 times, over the last semester
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If it is causing so much distress to you, dump him and move on.

 
Originally posted by: CoolTech
he doesnt give rides all the time, he has maybe picked me up 5 to 6 times, over the last semester. Also, this was one of the only times I asked him to pick me up around back and he bitched about it. AND IF HE EVER EVER EVER NEEDS ANYTHING FROM ME LIKE THIS. I DO NOT BITCH LIKE THIS. I EVEN OFFER FAVORS IF I SENSE HE NEEDS THEM.
Click to expand...

from the above, it doesnt seem like a huge deal..but obviously its bothering you.
why not talk to him about it?
 
does he go to work or go to school? perhaps he's too busy or tired to cater to special needs all the time. also, does he go out of his way to pick you up, or is it on the way home or something like that? my friends would be there for me, but if im without a car, and its feasible for me to take a bus or something, why inconvience others? now say i got car-jacked in t.j. and needed a ride, thats a whole different story, id expect a friend to come get me, thats understandable.
 
so, you're saying that your friends should not be inconvenienced? I would gladly give a friend a ride instead of making him take the bus if he isnt doing anything at home.
 
Originally posted by: CoolTech
so, you're saying that your friends should not be inconvenienced? I would gladly give a friend a ride instead of making him take the bus if he isnt doing anything at home.
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This is no different than your friend. He is picking you up, just not at the back door as your requested. If something like this bothers you so much, I can only imagine the YAGT's you will be throwing at us if and when you meet an actual female.

 
This guys sounds like an asshat.

Drop kick his ass. If he won't even go a few extra 100ft in a dam CAR and he has no better things to do that day or something important hes a muppet.

A friend would do more for you.
 
jesus christ what are guys ? a bunch of whiny pussys. ohhh he didnt pay for my gas or booohooo he wouldnt pick me up in the back of the building, a friend wouldnt ask a guy who is broke to fill up his gas tank nor should a friend bitch about getting picked up in the rear (or shouldnt even change the location, if its only a few hundred feet just walk the distance and get picked up where you usually do.) i don't think most of you would have any clue what a friend is.
 
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