How do I get out of jury duty?

[SlitheryDee]

So I got subpoenaed for jury duty. The date I have to appear is December 5th. This is right in the middle of the holiday season and I run a retail business that can't operate without me. Having to close up in december could put me out of business if it drags on more than a day, which I hear it almost certainly will. Is there any easy way I can get out of it?

 

[CrackRabbit]

"Jury Duty notice? What Jury Duty notice?"

 

[SlitheryDee]

"Jury Duty notice? What Jury Duty notice?"

That's actually worth considering if nothing else works. The fines and/or bail (I don't know what they do to people who skip out on jury duty here) would have to be less than the money I'd lose in just a few days of being closed.

 

[Jeeebus]

Commit a felony and make sure you're convicted by then. Guarantee jury duty exclusion.

Less desirable, but equally effective, is to die.

 

[Testify]

You can get out of jury duty if you can't read or understand basic English.

 

[SKORPI0]

Not a USA citizen.
Cannot read/write English.
Over 75 years old.
Convict/Felon.

If one of the above applies, you're excused. :hmm:

 

[bhanson]

Enroll in some random community college class and tell them you're a student.

 

[torpid]

Financial hardship, if you have any sort of evidence to back it up, is (I thought?) a legitimate reason to not have to do jury duty.

 

[zinfamous]

Why do you think being there for more than a die is a certainty?

They tend to dismiss nearly 60% of people after the first hour of waiting around in the pool. Well, around here anyway.

 

[NetWareHead]

Show up with an INTELLIGENT but biased opinion favoring either side in the case and you will get dismissed. Do not say you are racist, you are an anarchist or you hate a certain group of people. The judge likely has heard it all and your plan will backfire, worst case scenario is a contempt of court charge handed down to you. E.g. I was questioned as a potential juror about a man brought up on trespassing and burglary charges. I voiced my opinion and said something like: "As a business and property owner I have to side with the police here. If someone was on my property when my business was closed, I'd say that he shouldn't be there and I would automatically side with the police in the interest of protecting my property." Resulted in a dismissal. Just be smart and look biased about the case. It also helps if you had any legal training, worked for a law firm or studied law. Thats usually a good way to get dismissed since most courts/judges/prosecutors and defense lawyers like mindless drones who will listen to them, the <i>experts</i>, and not have someone who will form his own opinions or possibly corrupt the jury.

 

[NetWareHead]

Financial hardship, if you have any sort of evidence to back it up, is (I thought?) a legitimate reason to not have to do jury duty.

I've seen the financial hardship dismissed and sometimes with alot of anger from the judge. I was listening to a man tell the judge why he could not serve and was using the financial hardship approach. This man owned a snowplowing business and argued that serving on a 2 week case in the middle of December would ruin his business. The judge angrily told him that was his problem and not an excuse to escape performing the man's civic duty.

 

[Wag]

You don't. Jury duty is part of being an American citizen. Suck it up and do your civic duty.

 

[nageov3t]

tear it up and throw it away.

 

[IronWing]

Invade Poland.

 

[drebo]

I've never actually had to report. I always call the night before (or look on line) and my group's always been excused.

 

[torpid]

I've seen the financial hardship dismissed and sometimes with alot of anger from the judge. I was listening to a man tell the judge why he could not serve and was using the financial hardship approach. This man owned a snowplowing business and argued that serving on a 2 week case in the middle of December would ruin his business. The judge angrily told him that was his problem and not an excuse to escape performing the man's civic duty.

Well, I'm not sure what other argument he could use BEFORE he shows up to jury duty. By showing up he's going to have to take time off already if it works like it does most places. You sit in a waiting room until you are called and THEN you maybe get put onto a case. Sometimes not, then you go back to the waiting room. And show up the next day, etc. I'm not sure he can provide any excuse for not showing up in the first place beyond financial hardship.

 

[Baked]

Enroll in some random community college class and tell them you're a student.

This will not work. They will ask you to skip your finals for jury duty.

Financial hardship, if you have any sort of evidence to back it up, is (I thought?) a legitimate reason to not have to do jury duty.

Neither will this one. They will ask you to get a fucking job and stop fucking so much w/o protection.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I would just go with it, would be a neat experience. Then again if they need you during work hours, that's kind of hard.

 

[Matthiasa]

Being able to think usually works. Seriously they hate that.

 

[Wag]

I served 3x already, picked 2x. Once was when I was in college. They picked me right off the bat, no challenge or anything.

 

[darkxshade]

Can't you just get a jury duty postponement instead of all the other reasons thrown around? I didn't even have to see the judge, I went to the courthouse at a convenient time before the day I were to report for jury duty and told the clerk I would be unable to make it and requested it to be postponed. I think you can do it 2 times before they say no. And if you OP have already done that twice, then you dun goofed.

 

[RedArmy]

Talk about Jury Nullification and how awesome it is.

 

[Ms. DICKINSON]

Not a USA citizen.
..
...
....

Works every time. Just phone in or use the web reply form -- if you municipality have one set up.

 

[SlitheryDee]

You don't. Jury duty is part of being an American citizen. Suck it up and do your civic duty.

I can't. We already had to close up for a month earlier in the year because of the damn Mississippi river. That was bad, closing up in December on top of that will do real harm to the business. I'll suffer whatever the penalty is before I close again. I do nearly a third of the entire years revenue in December. I've ordered hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of inventory in preparation for December. Inventory which has to be payed for after the holiday season. I simply can't be closed in December.

 

[Modelworks]

Go and when they interview you for the position be the nuttiest person with the most extreme views possible.