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How do I get my parents to stop treating my like I'm 12?

A

Azndude51

Platinum Member
EDIT: lol, I just noticed the other parent rant thread, this isn't a parody, just another rant.


First of all I'd like to say that I am actually 20 and yes, I'm still ranting about my parents...

I lived in the dorms for the first 2 years of college, which my parents are paying for. I was going to get an apartment with a couple of friends (and pay for it with my own hard earned money) for Junior year but my parents forbid me from doing it because they didn't want me to "waste" my money when I could live at home. They're paying for my college education, so who am I to argue?

At home I do my fair share of the chores such as mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, taking out the trash, etc. without complaining since it is my obligation. I also get good grades in school. However, they still treat me like a kid.

Here's just a few things I can think of off the top of my head:
-When we eat, they still yell at me when I don't eat enough vegetables and my mom still forces me to drink some nasty asian herbal soups and medicines.
-My dad yells at me frequently when I don't go to bed before midnight. What college student goes to bed before 12? In the past he has called me "sick" and has said that I "have a disease" and that I "will die" because I don't go to bed early and don't sleep a full 8 hours (I average 6). Yet he himself goes to bed at 1-2am many nights.
-They still ask me where I'm going everytime I go out at night and get pissed when I leave the house w/out telling them.
-They yell at me when I watch too much TV or am on the computer too much. And this is during the summer when I don't have classes/homework and my new job hasn't started yet.

How can I get them to lighten up and give me some independence? I spent 4 semesters of school on my own, and now I don't know how I'm going to take 2 years of living at home like this. I've tried reasoning with them about how I'm 20 now and no parents that I know of treats their offspring like this at my age but they just won't listen.
 
Why does it seem that Asian parents are more strict than other races?

Also, go to sleep or you will die.
 
Originally posted by: Azndude51
-When we eat, they still yell at me when I don't eat enough vegetables and my mom still forces me to drink some nasty asian herbal soups and medicines.
-My dad yells at me frequently when I don't go to bed before midnight. What college student goes to bed before 12? In the past he has called me "sick" and has said that I "have a disease" and that I "will die" because I don't go to bed early and don't sleep a full 8 hours (I average 6). Yet he himself goes to bed at 1-2am many nights.
-They still ask me where I'm going everytime I go out at night and get pissed when I leave the house w/out telling them.
-They yell at me when I watch too much TV or am on the computer too much. And this is during the summer when I don't have classes/homework and my new job hasn't started yet.
Click to expand...

No. 1 - Tell them that you will eat and drink what you want. End of discussion.

No. 2 - Tell your dad that you will go to bed when you like

No. 3 - Tell them that you are going "out." If they don't like that answer, too bad.

No. 4 - Tell them that they worry too much and mind their own business.

That's just what I would do.
 
Originally posted by: Azndude51
EDIT: lol, I just noticed the other parent rant thread, this isn't a parody, just another rant.


First of all I'd like to say that I am actually 20 and yes, I'm still ranting about my parents...

I lived in the dorms for the first 2 years of college, which my parents are paying for. I was going to get an apartment with a couple of friends (and pay for it with my own hard earned money) for Junior year but my parents forbid me from doing it because they didn't want me to "waste" my money when I could live at home. They're paying for my college education, so who am I to argue?

At home I do my fair share of the chores such as mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, taking out the trash, etc. without complaining since it is my obligation. I also get good grades in school. However, they still treat me like a kid.

Here's just a few things I can think of off the top of my head:
-When we eat, they still yell at me when I don't eat enough vegetables and my mom still forces me to drink some nasty asian herbal soups and medicines.
-My dad yells at me frequently when I don't go to bed before midnight. What college student goes to bed before 12? In the past he has called me "sick" and has said that I "have a disease" and that I "will die" because I don't go to bed early and don't sleep a full 8 hours (I average 6). Yet he himself goes to bed at 1-2am many nights.
-They still ask me where I'm going everytime I go out at night and get pissed when I leave the house w/out telling them.
-They yell at me when I watch too much TV or am on the computer too much. And this is during the summer when I don't have classes/homework and my new job hasn't started yet.

How can I get them to lighten up and give me some independence? I spent 4 semesters of school on my own, and now I don't know how I'm going to take 2 years of living at home like this. I've tried reasoning with them about how I'm 20 now and no parents that I know of treats their offspring like this at my age but they just won't listen.
Click to expand...
Yay! Another idiotic thread. I'm so glad they're not all in L&R now. 🙂

But seriously, when you live at home you do what your parents want. If you don't like it, then move back out. Oh yeah, they're paying for your college education. So now if you REALLY don't like it, move out and pay for your own education. Problem solved.
 
Do exactly what DainBramaged said. If they say that these are the "house rules", then tell them you move out. If they tell you that they will pull you out of school, tell them you will use financial aid or take out loans.

Tell them you are sick of it, and if they don't stop, you will cut off contact.
 

Wow!

Parents pay for housing, food, and school....maybe it time to cut the umbilical cord & go on your own way if you don't like their pestering.

<-- Asian.



 
Originally posted by: edro
Why does it seem that Asian parents are more strict than other races?
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I can't really tell you why they're stricter, just the culture I guess. Actually, looking at my other Asian friends, their parents let them be independent, but are still strict when it comes to college/school. My parents are still trying to control other aspects of my life.
 
Originally posted by: edro
Why does it seem that Asian parents are more strict than other races?
Click to expand...

It's because it's a collective society. The family comes first, not yourself (it's why the surname goes before the first name). What you do reflects not only yourself, but also your family.

EDIT: i just read your post, and your family is just messed up.
 
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Do exactly what DainBramaged said. If they say that these are the "house rules", then tell them you move out. If they tell you that they will pull you out of school, tell them you will use financial aid or take out loans.

Tell them you are sick of it, and if they don't stop, you will cut off contact.
Click to expand...

I'm fine with living at home and fulfilling my obligations such as cleaning after myself and doing my fair share of the work. But what they're doing is trying to control my life by telling me what to eat, when to sleep, what to do and when, etc. They just need to be reasonable about the "house rules," is there no such thing as compromise? If they're going to make me live at home, they can at least back off a bit with their parenting. And actually, if I do move out again to an apartment against their wishes, I'm sure they'd still pay for my tuition as long as I pay for my own food/housing. They just wouldn't be happy about it.
 
Originally posted by: Azndude51
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Do exactly what DainBramaged said. If they say that these are the "house rules", then tell them you move out. If they tell you that they will pull you out of school, tell them you will use financial aid or take out loans.

Tell them you are sick of it, and if they don't stop, you will cut off contact.
Click to expand...

I'm fine with living at home and fulfilling my obligations such as cleaning after myself and doing my fair share of the work. But what they're doing is trying to control my life by telling me what to eat, when to sleep, what to do and when, etc. They just need to be reasonable about the "house rules," is there no such thing as compromise? If they're going to make me live at home, they can at least back off a bit with their parenting. And actually, if I do move out again to an apartment against their wishes, I'm sure they'd still pay for my tuition as long as I pay for my own food/housing. They just wouldn't be happy about it.
Click to expand...

so do it. move out on your own. why make urself miserable?
 
Originally posted by: Looney
i just read your post, and your family is just messed up.
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lol and actually I think the only real reason I'm getting treated like this is because I am the youngest of two children. But instead of being spoiled and babied like most western youngest children do, I get the strict, controlling Asian treatment. My parents stopped treating my older sister like this when she turned 18.
 
Originally posted by: Aharami
Originally posted by: Azndude51
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Do exactly what DainBramaged said. If they say that these are the "house rules", then tell them you move out. If they tell you that they will pull you out of school, tell them you will use financial aid or take out loans.

Tell them you are sick of it, and if they don't stop, you will cut off contact.
Click to expand...

I'm fine with living at home and fulfilling my obligations such as cleaning after myself and doing my fair share of the work. But what they're doing is trying to control my life by telling me what to eat, when to sleep, what to do and when, etc. They just need to be reasonable about the "house rules," is there no such thing as compromise? If they're going to make me live at home, they can at least back off a bit with their parenting. And actually, if I do move out again to an apartment against their wishes, I'm sure they'd still pay for my tuition as long as I pay for my own food/housing. They just wouldn't be happy about it.
Click to expand...

so do it. move out on your own. why make urself miserable?
Click to expand...

Yep.
 
Originally posted by: DainBramaged
Originally posted by: Azndude51
-When we eat, they still yell at me when I don't eat enough vegetables and my mom still forces me to drink some nasty asian herbal soups and medicines.
-My dad yells at me frequently when I don't go to bed before midnight. What college student goes to bed before 12? In the past he has called me "sick" and has said that I "have a disease" and that I "will die" because I don't go to bed early and don't sleep a full 8 hours (I average 6). Yet he himself goes to bed at 1-2am many nights.
-They still ask me where I'm going everytime I go out at night and get pissed when I leave the house w/out telling them.
-They yell at me when I watch too much TV or am on the computer too much. And this is during the summer when I don't have classes/homework and my new job hasn't started yet.
Click to expand...

No. 1 - Tell them that you will eat and drink what you want. End of discussion.

No. 2 - Tell your dad that you will go to bed when you like

No. 3 - Tell them that you are going "out." If they don't like that answer, too bad.

No. 4 - Tell them that they worry too much and mind their own business.

That's just what I would do.
Click to expand...

Obviously you don't have Asian parents...




Originally posted by: Aharami
Originally posted by: Azndude51
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Do exactly what DainBramaged said. If they say that these are the "house rules", then tell them you move out. If they tell you that they will pull you out of school, tell them you will use financial aid or take out loans.

Tell them you are sick of it, and if they don't stop, you will cut off contact.
Click to expand...

I'm fine with living at home and fulfilling my obligations such as cleaning after myself and doing my fair share of the work. But what they're doing is trying to control my life by telling me what to eat, when to sleep, what to do and when, etc. They just need to be reasonable about the "house rules," is there no such thing as compromise? If they're going to make me live at home, they can at least back off a bit with their parenting. And actually, if I do move out again to an apartment against their wishes, I'm sure they'd still pay for my tuition as long as I pay for my own food/housing. They just wouldn't be happy about it.
Click to expand...

so do it. move out on your own. why make urself miserable?
Click to expand...

Well first of all it's a little too late now since my friends already got an apartment without me and it's too late in the summer to find a decent apartment that's close to campus, the only ones available are a lot farther from campus than my house. Plus I don't want to spend all the money unless I absolutely have to. Hopefully, I can get my parents to lighten up, if not I will move out senior year.
 
You're 20. Get a job, move out. You seem sufficiently responsible for this, and a nice enough guy to boot. There really isn't anything you can do to change your parents at this point. If they really are going to drive you crazy, your only option is to remove yourself from the situation and go over for dinner once a week.
 
But seriously, when you live at home you do what your parents want. If you don't like it, then move back out. Oh yeah, they're paying for your college education. So now if you REALLY don't like it, move out and pay for your own education. Problem solved.
Click to expand...

The typical holier than thou reply

Yes, you must do as your parents want, because you are nothing but an object on their hands, and coming to an agreement is totally out of question :roll:

Did you even consider parents can actually TALK to their children?
They might not have an obligation to take care of their children past 18, but thats totally heartless, they are human beings like everyone else and must be respected, not told around like puppets

*sigh*

Anyway, they were the ones wanting you to move in, so... either they get used to it or... they get used to it 😀 Its not like it was YOUR idea, even if its nice to keep the money... Sounds more like their making some kind of deal "you move in, you keep the money but do what we tell you" which is silly to say the least
 
I think it would be easier for you to put up instead of having to make more money for the stuff they're paying for.
 
Here's what I posted in another thread 2 days ago when someone was b!tchin about azian parents. I believe it applies to this thread also.

you azn kids don't have balls. that's the problem.
Click to expand...
 
Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself
But seriously, when you live at home you do what your parents want. If you don't like it, then move back out. Oh yeah, they're paying for your college education. So now if you REALLY don't like it, move out and pay for your own education. Problem solved.
Click to expand...

The typical holier than thou reply

Yes, you must do as your parents want, because you are nothing but an object on their hands, and coming to an agreement is totally out of question :roll:

Did you even consider parents can actually TALK to their children?
They might not have an obligation to take care of their children past 18, but thats totally heartless, they are human beings like everyone else and must be respected, not told around like puppets

*sigh*

Anyway, they were the ones wanting you to move in, so... either they get used to it or... they get used to it 😀 Its not like it was YOUR idea, even if its nice to keep the money... Sounds more like their making some kind of deal "you move in, you keep the money but do what we tell you" which is silly to say the least
Click to expand...
Which is exactly why if he doesn't like it, he should move out and pay his own way. I'm so tired of this 'kids should be bargained with instead of being told what to do' attitude. And yes, the OP is still a kid if he can't live in his parent's house and abide by their rules.

He's 20 years old. He's an adult. If he doesn't like things the way they are, he can move out and chart his own course in the world without mommy and daddy providing the map and the money for his slushy for him to carry along the way.

ETA - spelling
 
Originally posted by: Laughingman12
Asian Parents are Strict, that why Asians are discipline and so well-taughted. Anyway your 20??

What kind of Asian are you?
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Chinese


Originally posted by: AreaCode707
You're 20. Get a job, move out. You seem sufficiently responsible for this, and a nice enough guy to boot. There really isn't anything you can do to change your parents at this point. If they really are going to drive you crazy, your only option is to remove yourself from the situation and go over for dinner once a week.
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I do have a job and as I've said before, I was respecting their wishes by moving home instead of getting an apartment. They treated my sister completely different (much mroe lenient) when she was my age so i don't see why the can't treat me the same way.


Originally posted by: bigrash
Here's what I posted in another thread 2 days ago when someone was b!tchin about azian parents. I believe it applies to this thread also.

you azn kids don't have balls. that's the problem.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

You probably wouldn't have the balls either if you were raised the same way we were. Dealing/reasoning with or even talking to Asian parents is one of those things that are easier said than done.
 
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