How do I become a jerk?

SubZeroX

Senior member
Oct 24, 2001
716
0
0
Damn I'm tired of being the "nice guy" to women. How can I become a jerk starting tomorrow? What are some sayings that a jerk would say? And how would he act?

I need to read "How to be a jerk and get chicks for dummies."

The contents of this thread is inappropriate and insulting.

AnandTech Moderator
 

Sluggo

Lifer
Jun 12, 2000
15,488
5
81
Belittle her
cheat on her, make sure she finds out
Be an egomaniac
Make her drive your lazy ass everywhere
Make her do the working for the both of you
Tell her she is fat
Tell her she is stupid

Oh Yeah, the biggie......tell her how lucky she is to have you since nobody else would ever want her pathetic ass.
 

Wolfie

Platinum Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,894
2
76
Talk to Red Dawn. I am sure he can teach you a few things.

Wolfie
 

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
7,572
2
76
And they all said you were dumb...


rolleye.gif
 

Deeko

Lifer
Jun 16, 2000
30,213
12
81
I read the title and knew that was what it was about. No offense, but shut up with the whole dorky 'nice guys always lose to the popular better looking more confident jerks' spiel. It gets old. These people you think are jerks are only jerks to you.
 

SubZeroX

Senior member
Oct 24, 2001
716
0
0
Originally posted by: Sluggo
Belittle her
cheat on her, make sure she finds out
Be an egomaniac
Make her drive your lazy ass everywhere
Make her do the working for the both of you
Tell her she is fat
Tell her she is stupid

Oh Yeah, the biggie......tell her how lucky she is to have you since nobody else would ever want her pathetic ass.

hey sluggo, you sound like a pretty big jerk. So do u actually have a GF that takes all that abuse and wants more of it?

 

TNTrulez

Banned
Aug 3, 2001
2,804
0
0
Originally posted by: Sluggo
Belittle her
cheat on her, make sure she finds out
Be an egomaniac
Make her drive your lazy ass everywhere
Make her do the working for the both of you
Tell her she is fat
Tell her she is stupid

Oh Yeah, the biggie......tell her how lucky she is to have you since nobody else would ever want her pathetic ass.

*whistle*

Don't forget to sleep with her sisters and yell at her when she berates you for it.
 

BatmanNate

Lifer
Jul 12, 2000
12,444
2
81
That saddest part of this is that guys who act like that usually have girls falling all over them.
 

boi

Golden Member
Apr 12, 2002
1,695
0
0
Just tell them to stfu when they talk. =P If they don't, bitch slap them.:Q
 

Whisper

Diamond Member
Feb 25, 2000
5,394
2
81
That saddest part of this is that guys who act like that usually have girls falling all over them.

So true. Then again, I wouldn't generally want the type of girl that would be attracted to said guy.
 

OS

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
15,581
1
76
Originally posted by: SubZeroX
Damn I'm tired of being the "nice guy" to women. How can I become a jerk starting tomorrow? What are some sayings that a jerk would say? And how would he act?

I need to read "How to be a jerk and get chicks for dummies."


Ok, you asked for it;

give her a nickname like 'stupid bitch'
call her by her nickname publically in front of other people
tell her she's flat and has no chest. This works because most girls don't have supermodel chests.
don't do sh*t for her, big or small (open doors, loan coat, fix her stuff, etc.)
don't buy stuff for her
if she's supposed to meet you somewhere, make her wait. A long ass time. Heck, feel free to cancel randomly.
if you're going out for a meal, eat before hand and when you two order, order something smaller than her, it makes her look like a pig
when you're out with a girl and she's pissing you off, excuse yourself to say the bathroom, and just walk and leave her stranded


Can't think of anything else. Not that I do any of that.

Sluggos is pretty good too.



 

Salvador

Diamond Member
May 19, 2001
7,058
0
71
Isn't that the sickest thing? I realized that in college and did an experiment with a chick that I really liked, but wasn't coming around. I started insulting her and made her feel like I could hardly stand to have her around and then she started to respond. Of course, I lost her because I started being nice to her again after she did respond.

Girls like that are messed up! I don't know if you want a girl like that anyway. I wonder what makes that type of girl? Is there some sort of issue with their father not giving them enough attention?

Girls? Any ideas?

Sal
 

kami

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
17,627
5
81
I don't think it's necessarily that they like jerk guys, but they like guys who aren't total wimps. Stand up for yourself and don't agree with everything she says
rolleye.gif
 

Nefrodite

Banned
Feb 15, 2001
7,931
0
0
read this and do opposite.
"Why Nice Guys Suck!

Nice guys are ugly! They haven't the air of sensuality about them that bad guys do, because they just haven't had lives.
Nice guys think women are a 'special species' from another planet.

Nice guys suffocate their girlfriends, expecting them to be their lovers, mother, sister, princess, china doll, and the Goddess who brings up the sun in their mornings. They also expect their girlfriends to be their best buddy, because 'real' guys won't have anything to do with the geeks!

Nice guys sit there entranced by their girlfriends as the girlfriend carries on the whole conversation by themselves. Nice guys haven't lived so they have nothing to add to the conversation. Nice guys bore women to death.

Nice guys stare at their girlfriends in total worship awe. Women find it difficult to eat when they are being visually consumed by a staring, mindless dope.

Nice guys quickly look at you when they do a social blunder (such as fart) to see if you caught it. Who cares!

Nice guys pretend to be 'just our friend' and then go home and fantasize about us mothering their 'nice guy' kids.

Nice guys have no real life or interest of their own. They sit around and dream of getting a girlfriend to fill their empty lives.

Nice guys feel so undeserving of 'awesome you' that they make you feel that you have, most assuredly, picked a real loser.

Nice guys think women are porcelain goddesses. Women don't want to have to keep living up to a surreal image. If you belch in front of us we won't break!

Nice guys think that if a woman doesn't want to have anything to do with their boring, empty shell of manlihood, they're stupid bitches who would rather be with a jerk that beats them. Yep, this is every woman's dream.

Nice guys are too STUPID to figure out that woman don't want to be the leader on the dance floor.

Nice guys wear tucked in golf shirts and make a clean, straight part in their hair, exactly two-inches above their left ear. This really turns woman on. So sexy! Why can't Fabio and Brad Pitt take fashion and grooming lessons from nice guys?

Nice guys sit there like passive puppies, waiting for their girl to make all the moves. This is because woman love to feel undesirable.

Nice guys can fool our parents. They are often quoted by the respected elder as being kind, loving, committed. Translation: Gay

Nice guys suck because you can't complain about them to your friends.

Dating a nice guy is like dating yourself. If you like Broccoli, he likes Broccoli. If you hate Jay Leno, he hates Jay Leno. If you order a Shirley Temple, he orders a Shirley Temple. If you are pro capital punishment, he is pro capital punishment. If you think Austin Powers was disgusting he thinks Austin Powers was disgusting. If you prefer Kotex over Tampax...

Nice guys eventually turn into jerks too, so why not just date a jerk right from the start and skip all that insecurity stage?

Nice guys laugh at your jokes...before you've even reached the punchline.

Nice guys quickly get emotionally attached. Sucking the life of you.

Nice guys eagerly show affection. Who can appreciate that of which they didn't have to work for?

Nice guys are gentle, tender, pedal-soft lovers. Woman love this...hopefully her nice guy will wake her up to let her know that he is coming. "I'm not hurting you now, am I hon.?"

Nice guys will never, ever eagerly lust and devour your hot, throbbing body or steamy, sweetened inner core. Nice guys can't hear your body screaming, "hold me, touch me, RAVISH me! <blank> ME NOW!!!"

Hopefully, your nice guy will eventually turn into a jerk and cheat on you (so someone else can endure his lack of lovemaking skills).

Nice guys will make you feel guilty if you spend a minute anywhere but with them.

Nice guys will buy you flowers. Then ask you all evening long if you liked them.

Nice guys will never actually tell their girlfriends when they don't like what she's doing. Instead, he will get mad about it six months later.

Nice guys are hideously insecure. Nice guys never do for you anything for the simple sake of giving. Everything they do for their girlfriends are like stock investments. The stock is up at Acceptance and Approval. Each gift he gives you, or loving gesture he shows you, is really a guaranteed down payment toward a future of him clinging to you like a drowning man to a life-saver.

Nice guys are confused about romance. They either go overboard and bring a dozen roses to a "lets go for a walk in the park" date...or...they are so unsuave and unsure of themselves that they hang around you, pretending to be your friend. Yep, I just love an unconfident, self-doubting man.

Nice guys are so desperate to please that they have no identity of their own. Ask a nice guy his thoughts on anything. Guess what? He doesn't have any!

Nice guys are easily used. I just love a man I have no respect for.

Nice guys suffer from the "Night in Shining Armor" syndrome. They pick out the sleaziest, "hard luck" cases to rescue. Moral of the story? Wear condoms while sleeping thru the sex act with your nice guy.

Nice guys are so eager to please that they rarely speak up when something bothers them. Thus, they can make their girlfriends feel guilty when they say, "Everything I did, I did for you".

Nice guys truly think that they are making their girlfriends happy by sacrificing their own life, desires, wants, needs, opinions, and identities to that of their girlfriends. They can then claim that "no one will ever love you as much as I do". Translation: "You are such a bitch, be grateful I'm willing to put up with you and love you anyway."

Nice guys make you their Life, their only source of happiness. Woman love this burden placed on them.

Nice Guys really don't like themselves. Insecurity is not sexy, it is suffocating, clinging and obsessive. Issues with nice men are unbearable. Issues with jerks are workable. "

 

Salvador

Diamond Member
May 19, 2001
7,058
0
71
Nefrodite: I'd quote what you wrote, but I don't want to take up that much bandwidth.

I think you are confusing nice with pathetic. I'm not ugly, I'm not clingy and I'm not afraid to stand up for myself. I do believe in respecting a girl though. Do girls really feel insecure when someone is geniune, cares for them and shows them respect? I think it's the girl that's insecure in this case.

Sal
 

Nefrodite

Banned
Feb 15, 2001
7,931
0
0
heh i forgot to add quotes:p its copied from a website, i lost the link a while ago though:p

and its all in good fun;) with a nugget of truth somewhere hehe
 

Jfur

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2001
6,044
0
0
Originally posted by: SubZeroX
Damn I'm tired of being the "nice guy" to women. How can I become a jerk starting tomorrow? What are some sayings that a jerk would say? And how would he act?

I need to read "How to be a jerk and get chicks for dummies."


Jerks attract insecure b!tches -- are you sure that's what you really want?
 

AZGamer

Golden Member
May 14, 2001
1,545
0
0
Originally posted by: SubZeroX
Damn I'm tired of being the "nice guy" to women. How can I become a jerk starting tomorrow? What are some sayings that a jerk would say? And how would he act? I need to read "How to be a jerk and get chicks for dummies."

Be like me, and you'll get a user rating of nearly one.

Follow my example.
 

Skyclad1uhm1

Lifer
Aug 10, 2001
11,383
87
91
Originally posted by: Jfur
Originally posted by: SubZeroX
Damn I'm tired of being the "nice guy" to women. How can I become a jerk starting tomorrow? What are some sayings that a jerk would say? And how would he act?

I need to read "How to be a jerk and get chicks for dummies."


Jerks attract insecure b!tches -- are you sure that's what you really want?

I think he'd prefer an insecure b!tch over his right hand.
 

tallest1

Diamond Member
Jul 11, 2001
3,474
0
0
Take her out clubbing or ...... out clubbing
- grind on her obnoxiously as you dance

Say no if she wants to do anything with her friends

Talk to her in the middle of classes so that everyone can hear you

Impress her with your cellphone that rings at the highest volume

talk only about yourself

Make her feel guilty as often as possible

If you make her cry, call her over in a couple hours in an attempt to get laid

In your car, play only rap music, eminem, and music with cussing even when you take her out on a date

Pinch her ass in public if she within reach

Talk about her behind her back (and post in on ATOT :D )

Watch only scary DVD's with her so that she'll cling onto you

Insult her in her face and act as if you were kidding "You're a b*tch you know that?" "What?!" "heh heh, just kidding baby"''

Flirt with other women at all times