How do guys in mid to late 20s/early 30s actually meet women???

[ClarityZedd]

At this point, you really can't meet them through natural means anymore - you're not in college where cute young single girls are everywhere, most of your friends are married or taken so you're not hanging out with a bunch of single people anymore, if you're trying to make a lot of money, you're likely working a job around a bunch of older men.

What's the options here? Bars/clubs have a crazy difficulty level - I feel like I'm one of the best looking, most muscular and best dressed men everytime I go to the bars and I still don't receive any indicators of interest from anybody decent. I'll occasionally be approached by a decent looking 35 year old but I'm not gonna date anybody older than me. If this is so difficult for me, how the hell can the average guy who is chubby meet someone at a bar? The decent looking women in their 20s aren't even trying to meet someone - 99% of them go out with 4 - 6 friends and have a boyfriend at home. The huge groups in the bar scene make it very difficult to tell who is single and who is not. I am not one of those guys who is okay approaching a chick with a bunch of male friends there and you have no idea if one of the guys there is her boyfriend and you end up looking like a complete dick. I'm not trying to make anybody feel awkward or uncomfortable.

Outside of the bar scene, what do you really do? Online dating is complete garbage unless you're a 6'3 white male model type. Even women online who are 5 foot tall/6s and 7s appearance wise want a man who is a 10/10 and way over 6 feet. IMO, women on dating site are the most superficial and pickiest people in the world...much worse than any demographic of men. That's the natural result of getting 80,000 messages a day I suppose. I'm realistically maybe a 7.5 to 8/10 in the face in real life but I'm only about a 6-7 in pics and that's nowhere near enough on these sites. You have to be a 9.5 to 10/10 in the face to meet a cute girl in her 20s.

Approaching during the day is very overrated too. The odds of a random cute 27 year old being single AND looking to date someone AND being attracted to you is like 1 in a 100 so, unless you're one of those masochists who is okay hearing 100 nos to get 1 yes, day approaches are horrible too

Yet most people date someone in their own league. What the hell am I missing here?

 

[Sonikku]

How do guys in mid to late 20s/early 30s actually meet women???

Right here on Anandtech. Don't worry, you'll find one. Just keep posting!

 

[IronWing]

Naughty words in thread titles are a Bozo no-no.

 

[mikeymikec]

Take up a hobby/sport that gets you to socialise with like-minded people. Take up a night class for something that interests you.

Why don't you want to date older women than yourself? How many other 'requirements' do you have?

It seems to me that you're entirely preoccupied with your looks, then you wonder why you get overlooked.

My brother is hardly a 10 in terms of looks, he's hardly had a huge track record in the relationships department and yet he met up with a woman from a dating site who IMO is perfectly intelligent and attractive and now they've added another sprog to the set.

 

[ClarityZedd]

Take up a hobby/sport that gets you to socialise with like-minded people. Take up a night class for something that interests you.

Why don't you want to date older women than yourself? How many other 'requirements' do you have?

Go look at some couples in their 40s, 50s and 60s. The man often times looks 10 years younger, even if he's 5 years older

Men have much much better skin when it comes to aging. White women especially have horrible genetics for aging (I'm Armenian) - my 60 year old dad has less wrinkles than some white women I see who are 38.

I really don't want a light skinned white women. I would prefer someone ethnic - Spanish, Italian, Greek, maybe Asian, Fillipino, Thai, Mongolian, middle eastern, mixed, etc...

My brother is hardly a 10 in terms of looks, he's hardly had a huge track record in the relationships department and yet he met up with a woman from a dating site who IMO is perfectly intelligent and attractive and now they've added another sprog to the set.

Here's the basic problem with online dating

Let's say you're a decent looking guy with a good job, college educated, etc... you're a good solid catch and you message a girl online. Well guess what? you're one of 50,000 guys messaging her and the odds are there are many many many men in that group who are male model handsome and 6'3 tall so what do you do then to stand out?

 

[mikeymikec]

Go look at some couples in their 40s, 50s and 60s. The man often times looks 10 years younger, even if he's 5 years older

Men have much much better skin when it comes to aging. White women especially have horrible genetics for aging (I'm Armenian) - my 60 year old dad has less wrinkles than some white women I see who are 38.

I really don't want a light skinned white women. I would prefer someone ethnic - Spanish, Italian, Greek, maybe Asian, Fillipino, Thai, Mongolian, middle eastern, mixed, etc...

You don't want to date an older woman because you're afraid of... wrinkles.

Are you looking for a long-term relationship or just to get laid? If it's the former, then what the hell difference do wrinkles make? You're both going to have them someday. Would you want her to reject you outright or later for something that makes no difference to anything?

Here's the basic problem with online dating

Let's say you're a decent looking guy with a good job, college educated, etc... you're a good solid catch and you message a girl online. Well guess what? you're one of 50,000 guys messaging her and the odds are there are many many many men in that group who are male model handsome and 6'3 tall so what do you do then to stand out?

Do the things I already suggested? Focus on expressing your personality in your profile? Give out some actual information about what kind of person you are, even if it's to the expense of some women saying "nah"?

My brother is neither 6'3 or "male model handsome". Neither am I. I'm married.

 

[Muse]

OK, read the OP, not the responses. I have no criticism of what you say, I'm way way older, but live in the same world and was once your age.

My thought is to suggest that you engage in activities where you will get to know some girls in the age range that you're interested in. That could be a club, a volunteer activity, interest group, I don't know where you live but I think things like that are pretty much everywhere. Once you start meeting and getting interested in some of those females you can just suggest you go get some coffee (or whatever) and take it from there if you think it might work.

Myself, I can only remember hitting on one girl who was older than me, which was maybe by 4-5 years max, but it was fantastic.

Take up a hobby/sport that gets you to socialise with like-minded people. Take up a night class for something that interests you.

Why don't you want to date older women than yourself? How many other 'requirements' do you have?

Yep.

 

[Jeeebus]

sounds like you're a whiny manlet. that's probably the issue.

 

[Crono]

 

[ClarityZedd]

You don't want to date an older woman because you're afraid of... wrinkles.

Are you looking for a long-term relationship or just to get laid? If it's the former, then what the hell difference do wrinkles make? You're both going to have them someday. Would you want her to reject you outright or later for something that makes no difference to anything?

Long term relationship

I'm a high testosterone dark skinned male. Dating someone older than me means in the long term, it will look like I'm dating my mother. Women age horribly around 45-60, especially white women.

My dad at 45 could pass for being 28-30. Our people are comparable with the blacks for aging

Do the things I already suggested? Focus on expressing your personality in your profile? Give out some actual information about what kind of person you are, even if it's to the expense of some women saying "nah"?

My brother is neither 6'3 or "male model handsome". Neither am I. I'm married.

expressing your profile is great, what kind of person you are great...but what do you do when she gets the same thing from a guy who is insanely handsome and tall? You will fade quickly

Women on dating sites receive 258302582350252035820582 messages a day. It's just so hard to stand out in that giant sea of men

 

[snoopy7548]

Take up a hobby/sport that gets you to socialise with like-minded people. Take up a night class for something that interests you.

Why don't you want to date older women than yourself? How many other 'requirements' do you have?

It seems to me that you're entirely preoccupied with your looks, then you wonder why you get overlooked.

My brother is hardly a 10 in terms of looks, he's hardly had a huge track record in the relationships department and yet he met up with a woman from a dating site who IMO is perfectly intelligent and attractive and now they've added another sprog to the set.

This guy speaks the truth. Find a night class or group hobby/activity, something that interests you. You're bound to meet women and instantly have something in common to talk about. Plus you'll be comfortable in that setting as opposed to a crowded bar where you'd have to compete for attention.

Here's the basic problem with online dating

Let's say you're a decent looking guy with a good job, college educated, etc... you're a good solid catch and you message a girl online. Well guess what? you're one of 50,000 guys messaging her and the odds are there are many many many men in that group who are male model handsome and 6'3 tall so what do you do then to stand out?

This sounds like any other social situation where there are other guys competing for women's attention.

 

[mikeymikec]

expressing your profile is great, what kind of person you are great...but what do you do when she gets the same thing from a guy who is insanely handsome and tall? You will fade quickly

If you honestly can't think of anything that sets you apart from others and might interest people, then perhaps you need to find more things that interest you? That's just aside from the (IMO highly unlikely) scenario of a woman finding two guys with exactly the same personality and interests but one is far more attractive than the other.

 

[SKORPI0]

My dad at 45 could pass for being 28-30. Our people are comparable with the blacks for aging.

If that's the current age of your dad (45) and you claim to be 29, how'd he have you at the age of 16?
I have black co-workers who look way older than their age. 38 year old who looks 50+.

Not sure what your problem is if your claim of what you are is true. Dating a woman is easy, keeping them interested in you is another story.

 

[icebro112]

At this point, you really can't meet them through natural means anymore - you're not in college where cute young single girls are everywhere, most of your friends are married or taken so you're not hanging out with a bunch of single people anymore, if you're trying to make a lot of money, you're likely working a job around a bunch of older men.

What's the options here? Bars/clubs have a crazy difficulty level - I feel like I'm one of the best looking, most muscular and best dressed men everytime I go to the bars and I still don't receive any indicators of interest from anybody decent. I'll occasionally be approached by a decent looking 35 year old but I'm not gonna date anybody older than me. If this is so difficult for me, how the hell can the average guy who is chubby meet someone at a bar? The decent looking women in their 20s aren't even trying to meet someone - 99% of them go out with 4 - 6 friends and have a boyfriend at home. The huge groups in the bar scene make it very difficult to tell who is single and who is not. I am not one of those guys who is okay approaching a chick with a bunch of male friends there and you have no idea if one of the guys there is her boyfriend and you end up looking like a complete dick. I'm not trying to make anybody feel awkward or uncomfortable.

Outside of the bar scene, what do you really do? Online dating is complete garbage unless you're a 6'3 white male model type. Even women online who are 5 foot tall/6s and 7s appearance wise want a man who is a 10/10 and way over 6 feet. IMO, women on dating site are the most superficial and pickiest people in the world...much worse than any demographic of men. That's the natural result of getting 80,000 messages a day I suppose. I'm realistically maybe a 7.5 to 8/10 in the face in real life but I'm only about a 6-7 in pics and that's nowhere near enough on these sites. You have to be a 9.5 to 10/10 in the face to meet a cute girl in her 20s.

Approaching during the day is very overrated too. The odds of a random cute 27 year old being single AND looking to date someone AND being attracted to you is like 1 in a 100 so, unless you're one of those masochists who is okay hearing 100 nos to get 1 yes, day approaches are horrible too

Yet most people date someone in their own league. What the hell am I missing here?

I wouldn't want someone 10 years older than me either not because of "wrinkles" like people are saying but because the whole maturity level issue. It works for some people I guess. Worked for my sister she's 33 and her husband is 24 but if you seen them you wouldn't know there was a huge difference. It's just kinda weird when I remember it. Considering I'm her younger brother and I'm 23.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

 

[ClarityZedd]

If that's the current age of your dad (45) and you claim to be 29, how'd he have you at the age of 16?
I have black co-workers who look way older than their age. 38 year old who looks 50+.

Not sure what your problem is if your claim of what you are is true. Dating a woman is easy, keeping them interested in you is another story.

my dad is 59 but I remember when he was 45...he could still pass for being 30. He looked so young

Anyways, I disagree with what you said. I think keeping them interested is mostly pretty easy. As long as you're naturally a fun person and you have a good lifestyle, your finances are in order, you're genuinely a good person and you keep yourself looking nice, what reason does she have to lose interest in you?

My struggle is I just can't get any dates with anybody decent. When I actually get a date, I'm very good. The vast majority of the women who have gone out with me wanted to be with me long term...the problem is none of them were anywhere near what I want.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Grow a pair of balls and actually go up to one and start a conversation. You sound like a retard with no personality, so no matter what advice is given to you, you'll have an excuse. If you actually had any friends that were women, you'd ask them instead of here, troll.

 

[whm1974]

my dad is 59 but I remember when he was 45...he could still pass for being 30. He looked so young

Anyways, I disagree with what you said. I think keeping them interested is mostly pretty easy. As long as you're naturally a fun person and you have a good lifestyle, your finances are in order, you're genuinely a good person and you keep yourself looking nice, what reason does she have to lose interest in you?

My struggle is I just can't get any dates with anybody decent. When I actually get a date, I'm very good. The vast majority of the women who have gone out with me wanted to be with me long term...the problem is none of them were anywhere near what I want.

Man I thought I was picky. Dude you three solutions to your problem. Find an 18 y/o woman, mail order bride, or simply lower you standards.

 

[Capt Caveman]

At this point, you really can't meet them through natural means anymore - you're not in college where cute young single girls are everywhere, most of your friends are married or taken so you're not hanging out with a bunch of single people anymore, if you're trying to make a lot of money, you're likely working a job around a bunch of older men.

What's the options here? Bars/clubs have a crazy difficulty level - I feel like I'm one of the best looking, most muscular and best dressed men everytime I go to the bars and I still don't receive any indicators of interest from anybody decent. I'll occasionally be approached by a decent looking 35 year old but I'm not gonna date anybody older than me. If this is so difficult for me, how the hell can the average guy who is chubby meet someone at a bar? The decent looking women in their 20s aren't even trying to meet someone - 99% of them go out with 4 - 6 friends and have a boyfriend at home. The huge groups in the bar scene make it very difficult to tell who is single and who is not. I am not one of those guys who is okay approaching a chick with a bunch of male friends there and you have no idea if one of the guys there is her boyfriend and you end up looking like a complete dick. I'm not trying to make anybody feel awkward or uncomfortable.

Outside of the bar scene, what do you really do? Online dating is complete garbage unless you're a 6'3 white male model type. Even women online who are 5 foot tall/6s and 7s appearance wise want a man who is a 10/10 and way over 6 feet. IMO, women on dating site are the most superficial and pickiest people in the world...much worse than any demographic of men. That's the natural result of getting 80,000 messages a day I suppose. I'm realistically maybe a 7.5 to 8/10 in the face in real life but I'm only about a 6-7 in pics and that's nowhere near enough on these sites. You have to be a 9.5 to 10/10 in the face to meet a cute girl in her 20s.

Approaching during the day is very overrated too. The odds of a random cute 27 year old being single AND looking to date someone AND being attracted to you is like 1 in a 100 so, unless you're one of those masochists who is okay hearing 100 nos to get 1 yes, day approaches are horrible too

Yet most people date someone in their own league. What the hell am I missing here?

Quoted and bolded for the lulz!!!

 

[William Gaatjes]

At this point, you really can't meet them through natural means anymore - you're not in college where cute young single girls are everywhere, most of your friends are married or taken so you're not hanging out with a bunch of single people anymore, if you're trying to make a lot of money, you're likely working a job around a bunch of older men.

What's the options here? Bars/clubs have a crazy difficulty level - I feel like I'm one of the best looking, most muscular and best dressed men everytime I go to the bars and I still don't receive any indicators of interest from anybody decent. I'll occasionally be approached by a decent looking 35 year old but I'm not gonna date anybody older than me. If this is so difficult for me, how the hell can the average guy who is chubby meet someone at a bar? The decent looking women in their 20s aren't even trying to meet someone - 99% of them go out with 4 - 6 friends and have a boyfriend at home. The huge groups in the bar scene make it very difficult to tell who is single and who is not. I am not one of those guys who is okay approaching a chick with a bunch of male friends there and you have no idea if one of the guys there is her boyfriend and you end up looking like a complete dick. I'm not trying to make anybody feel awkward or uncomfortable.

Outside of the bar scene, what do you really do? Online dating is complete garbage unless you're a 6'3 white male model type. Even women online who are 5 foot tall/6s and 7s appearance wise want a man who is a 10/10 and way over 6 feet. IMO, women on dating site are the most superficial and pickiest people in the world...much worse than any demographic of men. That's the natural result of getting 80,000 messages a day I suppose. I'm realistically maybe a 7.5 to 8/10 in the face in real life but I'm only about a 6-7 in pics and that's nowhere near enough on these sites. You have to be a 9.5 to 10/10 in the face to meet a cute girl in her 20s.

Approaching during the day is very overrated too. The odds of a random cute 27 year old being single AND looking to date someone AND being attracted to you is like 1 in a 100 so, unless you're one of those masochists who is okay hearing 100 nos to get 1 yes, day approaches are horrible too

Yet most people date someone in their own league. What the hell am I missing here?

I highly doubt this is actually real. Dave.

I bet that when you go out, you look like you are hunting for women.
And that does not work unless you are very charismatic.
The way you describe yourself is as if you are an empty shell. All body, no brain. Basically you scare them off or bore them away.

Dating sites are marvellous because it allows you to think your answers over. And it is good practice to learn from that to also use it in real life.Show interest in what the women like. And have an open friendly talk about but not putting them down. But do have an honest opninion.
If you constantly brag over how great you are, people are going to find you very narcistic and that is a turn down. Even for other narcists.
Figure what other interests you have. Seek a hobby you can put joy in.
Be happy inside first. Otherwise you are going to end up very miserable over a few years.

 

[pete6032]

You don't want to date an older woman because you're afraid of... wrinkles.

Are you looking for a long-term relationship or just to get laid?

Let's just be honest this guy is not, and never will be long term relationship material

 

[William Gaatjes]

I am surprised if no one ever mentioned Tinder.

 

[Greenman]

Let's just be honest this guy is not, and never will be long term relationship material

Bingo.
What he's saying is that he wants a trophy wife, but doesn't have the assets to land one. It's a tough place to be when your ego is larger than your reality.

 

[SKORPI0]

. the problem is none of them were anywhere near what I want.[/QUOTE]
Then, you're to much into yourself. A decent woman wouldn't touch you. "I too good for this woman, she is beneath my standards".

This thread and similar ones by the OP should be auto-locked IMO. Lot's of advice already given and OP still doesn't get it.
130+ post in a few days that took me months to do when I joined.

 

[Darwin333]

First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting 100 nos to get one yes. During the day why don't you just try chatting up girls being friendly, not trying to get their number or anything just friendly chatting. No chance of getting rejected, will help you get comfortable and you never know you might actually find a girl without even really trying.

Secondly hot women are not going to approach you in a bar. I'm sure it has happened to some ATOT baller here but in general this just ain't happening buddy. Hot chicks have had guys throwing themselves over them their entire lives, they have never had to approach guys and risk rejection so why in the hell would they even with someone as obviously perfect as you? It should be pretty obvious if they are with their boyfriend and if it isn't just ask "hi, how are you tonight? Is that your boyfriend?" If they are with a group of girls chat up the whole group for a while and then ask the one you are interested in for their number.

As far as online dating goes, since you are obviously the complete package so lie about your height to get into the door and once you get them on the first date they will be begging you to bed them.

Also, try getting a few gay friends. They usually know tons of chicks and love playing matchmaker. As a bonus when you are comfortable and the time is right they can help you come out of the closet

 

[Darwin333]

@SKORPI0 Hey, he is bringing some quality threads to OT! Even @Zeze has bowed to his greatness.