A police officer is sitting on top of a bridge monitoring the traffic below whe a car goes flying through at 80 MPH. He quickly flips on the lights and pulls the man over. The officer walks up to the car and goes through his standard procedure, and his license check comes back clean.
So he walks up to the car, and asks the man why he was going so fast. He replies, "I'm late for work and I need to get there. It's an emergency!" The officer asks, "What do you do that it's worth risking a speeding ticket to get there so fast?" The man replies, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
The officer looks at him strangely and says, "A rectum stretcher?" "Yup", the man said. The officer is curious now, so he asks what a rectum stretcher actually does. The man explains, "Well, I start with a normal rectum, and I insert one finger, and I go in a circle. Then I put in another finger, and another until I've got my whole hand in. Then I startadding the other hand. When I'm done, it's about 6'." The officer is dumbfounded at this point, and he asks, "But what do you do with a 6' @sshole?!?!" The man replies, "I don't know, put him on a bridge with a radar gun?"
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