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How did me and my sister grow up so differently?

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I would say you can bitch your sister out, because that is utterly ridiculous. Your parents don't seem to want to change, but she needs a smack in the head for some common sense. Don't expect things to change, but at least let her know your opinion on it. However, I wouldn't bother getting the husband involved... this.

And maybe they aren't rolling in dough.. but rolling in the high life debt. I can go out and buy a few bravias right now if I wanted to. I'd just be in debt for... a while.
 
Originally posted by: wetcat007
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Tarrant64
Question:

Where the hell is the husbands money going?
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Judged on their ability to buy sony LCD tvs vs. the better quality and cheaper Samsungs, I'm guessing they have quite a bit of money lying around.
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rofl, they're going to get rootkits!!! so people do still waste money on sony products... 🙂
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And all of his cars have bose audio systems!
heheh.
 
Originally posted by: ahurtt
Going by your avatar I would assume you are male. I would assume also that, obviously, your sister is female. That about sums it up.
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Originally posted by: K1052
Deployment of the letter that comes after "B" word recommended.

Caution: Minimum safe distance from target must be attained before deployment to avoid life threatening injuries.
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This thread delivers. :laugh:

Also, MBA + Lawyer ^ BMW / Cadillac sqrt[shiny new Mazda (CX-9 can't be more than months old)] = EXTREMELY well off. She can afford a fvcking fridge and microwave.
 
Originally posted by: mrSHEiK124
Originally posted by: ahurtt
Going by your avatar I would assume you are male. I would assume also that, obviously, your sister is female. That about sums it up.
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Originally posted by: K1052
Deployment of the letter that comes after "B" word recommended.

Caution: Minimum safe distance from target must be attained before deployment to avoid life threatening injuries.
Click to expand...

This thread delivers. :laugh:

Also, MBA + Lawyer ^ BMW / Cadillac sqrt[shiny new Mazda (CX-9 can't be more than months old)] = EXTREMELY well off. She can afford a fvcking fridge and microwave.
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The CX-9 is about 3 weeks old... Yeah.. They can afford it.. They own a 6 bedroom house in a private community in CT while my parents live in a 2 bedroom apartment... it bugs the hell out of me..
 
Having stuff != having money. To get stuff, you have to give the stuff makers/bank your money. I'll never understand why some people equate having stuff with having money. They have DEBT. The bank has what used to be their money.
Like someone pointed out, even people with higher incomes can be dumbasses and live paycheck to paycheck.
It's okay, it's a common misconception.

p.s. your sister is a total bitch and at 32 there is no hope for her
 
Bro, next time you see your sister, give her a smack on the cheek and give your BIL a kick in the nuts for me. And tell them both to grow the fvck up. 🙂
 
Originally posted by: getbush
Having stuff != having money. To get stuff, you have to give the stuff makers/bank your money. I'll never understand why some people equate having stuff with having money. They have DEBT. The bank has what used to be their money.
Like someone pointed out, even people with higher incomes can be dumbasses and live paycheck to paycheck.
It's okay, it's a common misconception.

p.s. your sister is a total bitch and at 32 there is no hope for her
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But they do have money and they're not kids who charge everything.
 
Originally posted by: KarmaPolice
I am 22 and still in college. My parents pay for my college and basically for me to live(food, rent, books). I know I have it easy here...and I know I am very lucky...but I am not like your sister. I like you..feel extreamly guilty when I take their money. I know when I get the money and they are old, they will be taken care of hands down by me and my brother..no worries there. If she is by herself and has a rich husband I see no excuse for her behavior and I would be angry as well.
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I'm the same age and also still in college. My parents give me a place to stay and pay my car insurance, but I pay for my books, classes, car, health insurance, etc. I also hate asking my parents for money, but I have no problems if they need money from me (which happens every few months). My dad always says he'll pay me back, but I don't hold him to it.

But back on topic... I'd tell her to grow up. If her income is greater than her parents, she should be buying stuff for them instead.
 
I'm Indian, so this isn't out of left field: it's entirely your job to reel your sister in, and quite frankly if you don't, your parents are screwed.
Your parents will NOT be able to cut her off because it is entirely out of their nature. Indian parents are easily manipulated, and I know this from experience (both with my own and the extensive group of Indian people I grew up with).

You have to step in. Your sister clearly knows how to work your parents. Talk to her first. You've been her little brother for 26 years, if you haven't figured out how to talk to your sister effectively then you have failed. If she turns out to be a greedy b!tch, go to your parents and insist that they don't give her any money. Anytime you hear about them giving her anything, create an entire spectacle about it. I've seen Indian children suck their parents dry in a similar situation, with the parents just thinking its advance inheritance, and the kids thinking the same way (absolutely disgusting in my opinion.) Stay away from the husband, at least until you've tried your sister and parents first. Even then, if it's gotten that far your sister is probably a big enough b!tch to go ballistic over you going over her head to her husband.

Do something man. If not you, then who?
 
Wow, I hopefully will be helping my parents in the future, not the other way around. Even if my parents and I are even financially, I still would help them out. Your sister is wayyyy too spoiled for a 32 year old. Tell her to stop bitching (no offense) and to start helping your parents out with HER DEBT that they're stuck on paying. :roll:
 
Originally posted by: Legendary
I'm Indian, so this isn't out of left field: it's entirely your job to reel your sister in, and quite frankly if you don't, your parents are screwed.
Your parents will NOT be able to cut her off because it is entirely out of their nature. Indian parents are easily manipulated, and I know this from experience (both with my own and the extensive group of Indian people I grew up with).

You have to step in. Your sister clearly knows how to work your parents. Talk to her first. You've been her little brother for 26 years, if you haven't figured out how to talk to your sister effectively then you have failed. If she turns out to be a greedy b!tch, go to your parents and insist that they don't give her any money. Anytime you hear about them giving her anything, create an entire spectacle about it. I've seen Indian children suck their parents dry in a similar situation, with the parents just thinking its advance inheritance, and the kids thinking the same way (absolutely disgusting in my opinion.) Stay away from the husband, at least until you've tried your sister and parents first. Even then, if it's gotten that far your sister is probably a big enough b!tch to go ballistic over you going over her head to her husband.

Do something man. If not you, then who?
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MY MOM USED THAT EXACT PHRASE! Indians are a fvcked up race... Seriously..

Thank you, fellow brownie.. I'll be talking to them soon...

 
I'm probably out of line and getting too personal here, but what are ATOT friends for? I'm not Indian, so I don't know how this idea can fit into your culture.

It seems to me this family (as do all families) has several self feeding "cycles of mental destruction". It further seems that you understand that your sister is sucking the oxygen out of your parents, and you would like to stop it. That will be very tough, if it's even possible.

I'd suggest the first step is spend less time with the family because the first person to fix is you. That's always the place to start with people problems. Find other activities and people to associate with (like here at ATOT) that build you up instead of tear you down. The second step would be to quit accepting her unacceptable treatment of you when you're a guest in her home. It's her fault if she mistreats you, but it's your fault if you accept it. Leave her home if you have to and go less often until it stops. This will be a positive example to your parents and may be the only way you can plant the idea of change (it must be thier idea) into your parents.

This will not be easy. Everyone will resist this every step of the way. It's OK to try again if you fail at first. If it works; you'll be better off first, the parents will improve thier position by example, and your sister may actually have to improve too if she wants to see your parents very often. Finally, her newborn will have a better mother and your good works extend to the next generation. Wow. This is probably way too much to hope for, but it sounds like it's worth trying.

I've read this over and over and it seems very "over the top", but it just might help so I'm hitting reply.

Jim
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Wonderful post, and you're completely right. I'm not sane, I have sooo many women issues (duh) so everyone in my family is screwed up. There is no easy solution, they need to have a serious conversation and I need to be in another state when they're having it 🙂
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Oh, hi Freebie. I tend not to look at who's posting, so I didn't realize you started this thread. Sorry for calling you sane! J/K! 😛 Well, if your parents raised your sister and you to be like this, it explains your woman problems pretty well. I understand somewhat...my mom always worked hard and did her best, but she raised us alone, and my brother is even crazier than I am. There's a lot of other stuff, and the end result is, I wasn't raised perfectly (though I emphasize again that this is no strike against my mom). I used to have a lot of woman problems too, even at your age. So don't feel like a newbsauce. It's just life.

I know basically nothing about Indian culture. All I know is the ones around here run hotels, don't eat meat, eat a lot of curry, and are fairly nice and well off. Is Komul (or maybe Komal) an Indian woman's name? Pakistani? There's a couple that's REALLY great to me, but I'm not sure where they're from, and I don't want to ask unless a good reason comes up.

The amount of help you've sought here on ATOT actually speaks well of you IMHO. The real jerks are the ones who think they know everything and don't need help. It also speaks well of you that you apparently could treat your parents the same way, but don't.

If your parents think they owe this to your sister, it may indeed be time for you to step in. Maybe it's time for you to assume de facto leadership of the family. I won't actually recommend it, because I don't know your family's religion/culture/philosophy well enough, but it's something to consider. I believe in respecting one's parents and not ordering them around, but I also believe in looking out for them and defending them against people who take advantage of them in ways they are ill-equipped to counter. How to balance this? I dunno. The simple answer is, find a way to smack your sister down in a way that helps rather than hurts. I can handle specifics in interpersonal relationships, but I tend to get lost in the sea of data when more than one time or situation is involved. So I'll keep an eye on this thread and try to help when I have something more useful to say!

:beer:
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
My sister, who recently gave birth to my awesome nephew, called my parents yesterday basically demanding that they get her a fridge and microwave, so that she doesn't have to walk down a flight of stairs to feed him. Considering that my parents are both retired and that my sister's husband makes probably 5 times more than my parents do right now...Well.. It pisses me off. My parents drive a 95 town and country minivan and my sister owns 3 cars, a BWM SUV, a cadillac, and a brand new Mazda cx9, yet she's demanding that they buy her stuff.

Where does this mentality come from? I've always felt extremely guilty whenever my parents buy me anything. In fact, I recently posted a thread about how I felt guilty about them buying me a computer and recently bought them a tv and dvd player to help deal with my guilt. Yet my sister has always demanded things from them and continues to do so when she's 32 and I'm 26. She even sends Christmas lists in November! I haven't gotten christmas or birthday gifts since I turned 21 because I prefer buying things for myself (and prefer going out with the family for dinner/movies vs. tacky sweaters) yet she sends out details lists... What's ironic is that her wedding and college education are major reasons my parents have a ton of loans. She has her MBA and her husband is a lawyer - they could at least lend a hand with those loans but they flatly told my parents that it's their responsibility.

I don't get it... Do I have a right to be angry? My mom and dad vent to me all the time and I feel like just telling her to grow the fvck up, because my parents aren't rolling in the dough and, while a fridge and microwave might seem trivial to her, it'll probably just be another credit card debth my parents have to add to the pile. It's so strange that, growing up, my sister used to call me spoiled because I "always" got what I wanted. What was the last thing I begged for before getting a job and buying things for myself? A super nintendo system..And she still brings that up.
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sounds like my sister except she's younger than me.

my parents do so much for her (especially since she had my niece and she's about to have another kid - this is a huge story unto itself) and she shows no appreciation and demands more from them.

 
has the thought ever occured to you that maybe your parents put up with your sister because she's the lesser of two evils?
 
Originally posted by: uhohs
has the thought ever occured to you that maybe your parents put up with your sister because she's the lesser of two evils?
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Fvck you for the implication. My parents and I have a great relationship and I constantly do things for them and vice versa. My forum posting has nothing to do with my quality as a son or person.
 
Here's a hint, maybe tell your parents not to buy her anything? My jerk of a brother is the same. Not surprisngly, he too is a lawyer from a top 5 university. He easily makes double both my parents salary. He doesn't pay a single bill and my parents have yet to see a cent of any of it. God knows i'll never see a cent. He's a major tightwad jerk and he still freeloads living at home. He never really buys anything either. I guess seeing hundreds of thousand in his bank account makes him happy. Perhaps he thinks he can bring it to the grave with him. My parents tolerate it for some reason. I just don't let it get me pissed or i'd be pissed all day at that fool's antics.
 
Originally posted by: Turin39789
WTF ATOT! You are all slackers.


The correct form is "How did my sister and I..." . Stop putting yourself first.
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Actually, I think it is "Me".

Worded as:
I grow up so differently - doesn't make sense, so i think ME is the proper word.
 
Freedom, please stop posting or at least change your name. You have now become
flame bate. Every thread you post in now becomes a flame fest.
This is because of your stupid YAGT's. So just create a new user name and start over here. Avoid the annoying myspace YAGT's and you will be golden.

This is a public service announcement.
/thread
 
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