how can I reply to this..

[TechBoyJK]

I have a friend that I grew up with. I've been giving him a hard time lately, and imho rightfully so. He'll be 29 in a few months.

-has never moved out.
-living in same bedroom his whole life
-doesn't work
-went to college and got 2 associate degrees in graphic design and publishing
-did pretty good in high school, so he isn't dumb
-hasn't had a consistent job in about 10 years
-parents babied him growing up and were very over protective
-drinks alot, admits he's an alcoholic
-plays poker online alot, admits he is addicted
-accordingy to his mom, he gets "mad and violent" when the threaten to kick him out
-has totaled 2 cars in less than 3 years due to drunk driving
-parents won't buy him another car until he has a job
-is a small guy, probably 5'6, and is now in terrible shape (has gross pale skin)
-used to be a very spunky, fun, and energetic guy

This guy used to be a fun person to be around. He was always humurous, cracked jokes, and would always be willing to get in trouble with his boys. hahah

Anyways, that was when we were kids, now we have all grown up, except him.

His parents are completely freaked out, have postponed their retirement, and are continually under the burden to give this guy "allowance" so he can buy beer and play poker online. Now they need to buy him a car. From what I heard, he told his parents he won't get a job until they buy him a car. And when they threatened to kick him out, he threatened to do stuff to their house.

I think he has no work ethic, and has never really had to work a day in his life. As a teenager, he had a few shortlived jobs, but nothing serious, and as soon as he got out of high school, he pretty much went to college and that was it.

Over a few brash emails I have told him he is a POS and needs to grow up. I got this message from him. How can i respond? I think he is arrogant and thinks he is to good for a basic job, like waiting tables or just working at best buy or something. Since he got done with school, he has been using the excuse "holding out for a good job" which I think is BS. He's been saying the same thing for over 6 years.

I know its mostly his parents fault for enabling him to mooch and sit on his ass and not work. But I'd at least like to say something to put him in check, basically to say "who do you think you are that you are too good to work a menial job like the rest of us? what kind of nearly 30 grown man can accept sleeping in the same bed that he slept in as a boy, in the same bedroom, not having a job, a life, and still begging his parents for money?"

His email via myspace.

Nice profile, you couldn't do it yourself? Anyway I have been doing freelance for the last few months. I appreciate that you want me to have some bad ass job which I want too, but it's hard in my field and you know I don't want to settle for shit. Also niether would you.

He actually attacks my ability to customize my myspace page. wtf?

 

[Ns1]

Have parents move. Don't tell kid where they're moving.

 

[TechBoyJK]

woops dbld

 

[Insomniator]

Parents need to man up. They don't need to give him shit other than maybe food to be nice. Allowance at 29? please. Have him get a job at a walkable place and pay off his own cheap ass kia payments until he gets a real job.

 

[TechBoyJK]

Originally posted by: Ns1
Have parents move. Don't tell kid where they're moving.

funny you say kid.. he's almost 30.

 

[MisterJackson]

I thought you learned your lesson last time you posted about this guy and were told to leave him the fuck alone......why are you drawn to this guy so much?

That's a rhetorical question btw....I don't really care what the answer is

 

[Ns1]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: Ns1
Have parents move. Don't tell kid where they're moving.

funny you say kid.. he's almost 30.

30's just a number. He's still a kid. A great, douchbaggy kid.

 

[TechBoyJK]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
I thought you learned your lesson last time you posted about this guy and were told to leave him the fuck alone......why are you drawn to this guy so much?

That's a rhetorical question btw....I don't really care what the answer is

I did. He's just out of the blue responding to w/e I had sent him a while back.

I'd like to reply back with something clear cut.

 

[Ns1]

God, i just read your thread about him. FTS. just talk to his parents. have them sell the house, sell all the shit, and move out w/o him.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
I thought you learned your lesson last time you posted about this guy and were told to leave him the fuck alone......why are you drawn to this guy so much?

That's a rhetorical question btw....I don't really care what the answer is

I did. He's just out of the blue responding to w/e I had sent him a while back.

I'd like to reply back with something clear cut.

Don't reply. Cut off all contact with him. Don't reply to his message, don't call him, don't do anything to communicate with him.

 

[Bryophyte]

"It has come to my attention that you physically assaulted your mother. You are on a path of self destruction with your inability to control your anger and addictions (drug, alcohol, and gambling.) I wish you the best of luck, but for now, I need to put some distance between us until you get your life sorted out."

 

[Leros]

This is really up to his parents to throw him out the door so he has to get a job or starve. As long as there is somebody enabling him to hold out for a better job, he will do it.

 

[TechBoyJK]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
"It has come to my attention that you physically assaulted your mother. You are on a path of self destruction with your inability to control your anger and addictions (drug, alcohol, and gambling.) I wish you the best of luck, but for now, I need to put some distance between us until you get your life sorted out."

brilliant, and thank you.

 

[frostedflakes]

How can parents let their kids get away with this shit? IMO nothing you can say is going to change his attitude, the only people who can set this guy straight are his parents. They need to kick his ass out and stop giving him money. Of course this guy sounds like a pretty big douchebag, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to steal money from them instead of getting a job. Before cutting him loose I'd change bank info if he knows any of that and make sure he doesn't have any keys to the house.

I don't know why but stuff like this pisses me off. We had a thread maybe a week ago about some other deadbeat who actually beat up his mom, and they didn't even file charges. WTF?

 

[Capitalizt]

I agree with the "It has come to my attention" bit..

You should also try speaking with the parents and convincing them that tough love is the only thing that is going to solve this situation. Unless they want a 40 year old living with them, they need to call the police and make him spend a few weeks in jail for threatening them. Nothing can beat that for a wakeup call.

 

[shortylickens]

Get away from him.

He needs to learn how to be a man on his own. Losing friends is one way to start it.

 

[ViviTheMage]

ban him from life!

 

[Capt Caveman]

Him and his parents need to go for counseling.

 

[Legendary]

Parents change locks.

 

[Kelemvor]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
I thought you learned your lesson last time you posted about this guy and were told to leave him the fuck alone......why are you drawn to this guy so much?

That's a rhetorical question btw....I don't really care what the answer is

Thought this sounded familiar...

 

[frostedflakes]

What kind of legal options do the parents have? If they tell him to get out and he stays, can they call the police on him for trespassing?

 

[TechBoyJK]

Originally posted by: frostedflakes
What kind of legal options do the parents have? If they tell him to get out and he stays, can they call the police on him for trespassing?

I'm sure they can. I doubt his parents would do that. For some reason, they sympathize with the kid.

 

[skace]

"Son you need to get a job"
"I'm not getting a job until you buy me a car"
"We aren't buying you a car, you need to move out"
"If you force me to move out I will break all your windows"
"If you break even 1 window we will call the cops and your next housemate will be named bubba, it's time for you to face reality and stop threatening everyone in your life"

 

[Kadarin]

You can show him and/or his parents this excellent article on the subject.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
I have a friend that I grew up with. I've been giving him a hard time lately, and imho rightfully so. He'll be 29 in a few months.

-has never moved out.
-living in same bedroom his whole life
-doesn't work
-went to college and got 2 associate degrees in graphic design and publishing
-did pretty good in high school, so he isn't dumb
-hasn't had a consistent job in about 10 years
-parents babied him growing up and were very over protective
-drinks alot, admits he's an alcoholic
-plays poker online alot, admits he is addicted
-accordingy to his mom, he gets "mad and violent" when the threaten to kick him out
-has totaled 2 cars in less than 3 years due to drunk driving
-parents won't buy him another car until he has a job
-is a small guy, probably 5'6, and is now in terrible shape (has gross pale skin)
-used to be a very spunky, fun, and energetic guy

This guy used to be a fun person to be around. He was always humurous, cracked jokes, and would always be willing to get in trouble with his boys. hahah

Anyways, that was when we were kids, now we have all grown up, except him.

Don't know what the when we were 'kids' has to do with shit unless that was what you 'thought' was cool versus really doing what you wanted.

I haven't changed much since I was a 'kid'. I didn't do much stupid stuff, I like drinking, women and cars. Still do.

It's called what 90% of those in their 20's are doing today...living life on another's dime.

IMHO unless you have a plan, the parents are doing a big disservice to any child that is not forced to move out around 18, if they are in college go dorm or rent. Feel free to come home during the summers to work and save.

Feel free to come home for the first year out of college to save for a downpayment.

What most do is just live at home and brag that they are saving for a house but in reality have nothing in the bank and are blowing dough each day.

Personally though WTF are you getting involved in this.