Horribly unfunny jokes

[Dritnul]

Q: what do you call 10,000 lawers chained to the bottom of the ocean



A: a good start

 

[WolverineGator]

Why did the fish walk into the wood workshop?

Because the sign said Carpenter.

 

[Dritnul]

Originally posted by: maddogchen
isn't it why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 ate 9?

pwned

 

[TechKnight]

There are three types of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.

 

[SociallyChallenged]

Originally posted by: TechKnight
There are three types of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.

Or the more nerdy version...

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who can read binary and those who can't.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: nutxo
There was this mortician. For 50 years he embalmed people and he had the rather disgusting habit of removing the forekins of every uncircumcised male who came through. He would save them in a bucket of formaldehyde.

Being so old he was forced into retirement and had no idea what to do with all the foreskins he had so carefully preserved. He had an idea. He would take the foreskins to a taxidermist and have somethign wonderful made to comemmorate his dedication to his job.

When he finally found a taxidermist and explained the situation the taxidermist couldnt help but laugh. He accepted the challenge and set to work.

After many weeks of waiting the old man finally recieved a call from the taxidermist had completed the job. The old man excitedly headed to the taxidernists shop.

Upon arriving the taxidermist reached into his back pocket and proudly displayed his creation. A bi-fold wallet. The old man was shocked and dismayed.

" A wallet" the old man exclaimed. " 50 years and all I have is a wallet to show for all my work"

"Take it easy" Said the taxidermist. " Its not "just" a wallet . Rub it hard 3 times and it turns into a suitcase "

worst joke ever???

Buddy Hackett used to tell that joke with elephant forskin.

 

[EliteRetard]

Ill pwNz jo0 all!

For the first:

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

Dunno?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

No?

Works don't it.

 

[Valhalla1]

Originally posted by: reverend boltron
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

that might be the best joke ever

 

[madeupfacts]

There sure is alot of idiots in here

 

[CorCentral]

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell in and could'nt swim............
Neither could Jill! :Q

 

[EmperorIQ]

Originally posted by: Raduque
Not necessarily unfunny, but i have to share

On the citizenship test given to foreigners there's an essay question that goes: "Make a sentence with the following words: green, yellow, pink, and statue"
A Mexican answered the question "The phone was greening, so I pink it up and say, "Yellow, Jose, statue?"

Works better told aloud

hahahaha :thumbsup:

 

[EliteRetard]

Numero two:

Whats the similarity between toilet paper and enterprise?

They both circle around uranus picking up klingons.

 

[kobymu]

Quoting myself from a P&N thread, right after I made bullet point. . .

Originally posted by: kobymu on this thread
And that?s, ladies and gentleman, how you use bullet points

Same joke, different spin: I have bullet points and I'm not afraid of using them.

Version.3 : with so many bullets you cant see the point

#4: whats the difference between bullet points and numbered list? The heading! *staka dish* ahhhhh that joke was so bad it made my Word crash. *staka dish*

#5 what did the numbered list said to the bullet point? "Hey you, not you, him, no no him , aghhrrr!!!"

#6 what did the bullet point said to the numbered list? "Number 10, ditch the zero you're way out of line!"

#7
A. What do you get when you mix bullet points and numbered list? a mess!
B. What do you get when you mix bullet points and numbered list? a demotion!

#8: what that did the gray bullet point said to other bullet points? I'm having a bad day.

#9: why did the bullet point got offended by the emoticon? Because the emoticon gave him a face.

 

[EliteRetard]

Ok now for the stupidest mom jokes I could remeber (and a few of my own):

Your mom is so ugly decard cain couldnt identify her!

Your mom is so ugly she has to pay her pillows to sleep with her!

Your mom is so ugly that when she was a baby she was fed with a slingshot!

Your mom is so ugly when she was a baby they had to tint the windows on the incubator!

Your your mom is so ugly when she looks into a mirror she goes back in time!

Your mom is so ugly she looks like alan greenspan after a market crash!

Your mom is so ugly when she sits on the beach cats try to bury her!

Your mom is so ugly even rice krispies won't talk to her!

Your mom is so ugly she can't turn on a computer!

Your mom is so ugly she makes onions cry!

Ok OK Ill stop for now...dont make me bust out the fat jokes.

 

[EliteRetard]

Originally posted by: madeupfacts
There sure is alot of idiots in here

Hey, don't forget the retards!

 

[Aquila76]

Q.: Why don't maggots eat dead lawyers?
A.: Even maggots have standards.

Originally posted by: madeupfacts
There sure is alot of idiots in here

At least we idiots can use our language correctly, tard. Go back to trolling P&N.

 

[GregGreen]

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac?


I don't have a Cadillac in my garage!

 

[humanure]

what did the the blond say to the bowl of cheerios?

look at all the donut seeds!

 

[imported_Stew]

Heard this one from a kid:

Q: What sits in a tree and goes, "Meow, meow."

A: One retarded apple!

 

[giantpinkbunnyhead]

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
A: Just open the door and put it inside.

Okay, now how do you put a giraffe into a refridgerator?
usual answer: Open the door and put it inside?
right answer: No, you have to take the elephant out first.

Okay, the lion has just called a meeting for all the animals to attend. Who doesn't show?
A: The giraffe. You left him in the fridge.

 

[oogabooga]

Originally posted by: Aquila76
Q.: Why don't maggots eat dead lawyers?
A.: Even maggots have standards.

Originally posted by: madeupfacts
There sure is a lot of idiots in here

At least we idiots can use our language correctly, tard. Go back to trolling P&N.

I'll throw my own contribution to that -
a lot = two words

 

[letdown427]

What's the easiest way to drown a blonde?

Put a Scratch n' Sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool...


Why was the theatre crying?

The seats were all in tiers...

 

[151528]

Originally posted by: confused1234
why was 1 afraid of 2? because 3 ate 4!!!!

This isn't even a joke, its just stupidity.

 

[SolMiester]

What?s the similarity between a ?69? and the mafia

One slip of the tongue and your in the s h i t.

 

[SolMiester]

How about

What?s the similarity between a ?washing machine? and a 'woman'

They both leak when their Fark'd!....LMAO