Homophobic bullying

[superstition]

Here is the latest casualty. It's filled with "thread fail" spam, and a lot of anti-gay hijacking commentary, beginning with a poster saying I have "openly admitted" to being gay.

http://forums.anandtech.com/me...id=38&threadid=2183856

Please control this or I will have to leave these forums. I have better things to do than put up with adolescent cyber-bullying.

The primary origin of this nonsense is the "why do guys want it so badly" anal sex topic in Love and Relationships.

Here is the link to that topic, for reference:

http://forums.anandtech.com/me...=2178851&enterthread=y

Thread has been locked due to the fact that there is some context in it that isn't suitable for underage members.

Anandtech Senior Moderator
Red Dawn

 

[Zim Hosein]

I locked the thread and posted a warning that personal attacks are not allowed giving the "offenders" a one and only warning, they know who they are superstition and will be dealt w/ if their childish behavior continues.

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
I locked the thread and posted a warning that personal attacks are not allowed giving the "offenders" a one and only warning, they know who they are superstition and will be dealt w/ if their childish behavior continues.

Then why is a moderator dishing out personal attacks?

 

[esquared]

Originally posted by: OdiN

Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
I locked the thread and posted a warning that personal attacks are not allowed giving the "offenders" a one and only warning, they know who they are superstition and will be dealt w/ if their childish behavior continues.

Then why is a moderator dishing out personal attacks?

What mod in that thread is dishing out personal attacks???

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: esquared

Originally posted by: OdiN

Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
I locked the thread and posted a warning that personal attacks are not allowed giving the "offenders" a one and only warning, they know who they are superstition and will be dealt w/ if their childish behavior continues.

Then why is a moderator dishing out personal attacks?

What mod in that thread is dishing out personal attacks???

I never said it was in that thread.

 

[jaqie]

OdiN:If you are making accusations that you wish them to act on, you may wish to post the thread(s) that they happened in, they cannot go on an ambiguous search throughout the forums to find such a thing.

As for the OP: I noticed no bullying going on there, and only one "homophobic" post in there at all. The problems seemed from my perspective to be mainly off-topic/spam posters and a single prejudice post and then flaming.
Posting in this area giving the moderators an ultimatim is counterproductive and pointless, you may want to in the future simply post what rules are being broken where without any unneeded information - the mods are quite busy here, I am sure.

 

[bsobel]

I still think you should have gotten a vacation for your actions in the anal sex thread, your lucky *I* didn't see it sooner.

 

[vi edit]

People don't have a problem with your sexual preference. They have a problem with the way that you communicate your opinions. In the "why do guys want it thread" you kept beating people over the head your opinion even though your experience is very different than what a female would feel. You aren't a woman. You haven't been with a woman(or at least didn't say so in the thread). Your experience with that topic wasn't relevant to the OP's question. You were called on that and you just kept picking away at it.

Having known that you are very outspoken about your sexuality I see that as nothing more than a troll thread looking to stir the pot and should have been locked by the first couple posts IMHO. Given that you are very open about your sexual orientation, what did your really expect to happen with that sort of post?

 

[dug777]

All I see is you trolling and getting served for it.

 

[superstition]

Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
I locked the thread and posted a warning that personal attacks are not allowed giving the "offenders" a one and only warning, they know who they are superstition and will be dealt w/ if their childish behavior continues.

Thank you

 

[superstition]

Originally posted by: vi edit
People don't have a problem with your sexual preference. They have a problem with the way that you communicate your opinions. In the "why do guys want it thread" you kept beating people over the head your opinion even though your experience is very different than what a female would feel. You aren't a woman. You haven't been with a woman(or at least didn't say so in the thread). Your experience with that topic wasn't relevant to the OP's question. You were called on that and you just kept picking away at it.

Having known that you are very outspoken about your sexuality I see that as nothing more than a troll thread looking to stir the pot and should have been locked by the first couple posts IMHO. Given that you are very open about your sexual orientation, what did your really expect to happen with that sort of post?

This post is very distorted and unfair. I simply added my 2 cents to the anal sex topic and got mud in the face for the effort. Defending myself against homophobic trolling is not something I'm guilty of. It's better than simply acquiescing. The point about me not being a woman was addressed by two of the female posters in the topic as well as by me. And, two of the ladies in the topic, who my posts were meant for, said they appreciated my input.

Being unapologetic about being gay is not being a "very outspoken troll". There was nothing trollish about my posts in the anal sex topic or the Sapphire ad topic in Off Topic.

 

[superstition]

As for the OP: I noticed no bullying going on there, and only one "homophobic" post in there at all. The problems seemed from my perspective to be mainly off-topic/spam posters and a single prejudice post and then flaming.

Posting in this area giving the moderators an ultimatim is counterproductive and pointless, you may want to in the future simply post what rules are being broken where without any unneeded information - the mods are quite busy here, I am sure.

You have a chip on your shoulder because I called you out concerning your "gay antics/clowns" post. I was polite about it but you apparently still don't realize how it came across and how it fed the trolls.

I have been trolled and bullied so much over the years in Internet forums for being openly gay and I will not tolerate it. I'm 31 years old, not a little boy, and I have better things to do than deal with it. So, yes, if moderators aren't willing to put a stop to it, then I will go to another forum. I feel my contributions to many topics here are worthwhile, but not every moderator will agree. Some will clearly not want the input of a gay man. I've seen that before and I'll see it again. But, I've always found that standing up for myself is the best way to deal with heterosexism and homophobia, even if it takes more effort.

 

[superstition]

Originally posted by: bsobel
I still think you should have gotten a vacation for your actions in the anal sex thread, your lucky *I* didn't see it sooner.

Are you referring to me? If you are, I suggest you refer to the appreciative comments defending me that were posted by two of the ladies in that topic.

I added my good faith input which was relevant to the best of my ability and things were OK initially until the OP's boyfriend and other males started attacking me because they didn't like my point of view. The amount of defense I had to post was definitely regrettable. I don't like helping to derail topics, but I won't accept people trying to push me out of a forum by saying the input of a gay man is unwanted and irrelevant. I've seen it before and I'll see it again but that doesn't mean I'm going to disappear (as long as there is decent moderation).

Getting upset about a gay man posting in a topic about anal sex is really odd. Further, nothing in that topic warrants the trolling that happened in the Off Topic topic I posted.

 

[superstition]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

there are quite a few gay guys on this board, but you wouldn't know it.

Originally posted by: techwanabe

Extremely well said....Can anyone say "in your face"?

I hope people can see the problem here. There is an expectation, according to some members of the forums, for gay people to hide in a closet. If no one knows they're gay, then everything is alright. Otherwise, you're a troll, a martyr, a drama queen, and so forth. I've dealt with this all my life, so it's not news. But, that still doesn't mean I shouldn't stand up for myself.

I find it tremendously ironic that some people have become upset over a gay man talking about anal sex in an anal sex topic. When I first posted in Love and Relationships I was struck by the seemingly total absence of gay-related topics and posts.

Originally posted by: techwanabe

I'm wondering if you almost enjoy your self proclaimed martyrdom.

This is really twisted. Not only am I guilty for other's heterosexism/homophobia, but I like being bullied, too? Ugh.

No, I certainly do not like it. I like being treated with respect and not told that I have no right to post because, being a gay man, my input is irrelevant by default. I like staying on topic and not having to take on a dozen posters. But, if the other option is to be one of those "many gay man" who no one knows about, I find that unacceptable.

 

[bsobel]

The amount of defense I had to post was definitely regrettable. I don't like helping to derail topics, but I won't accept people trying to push me out of a forum

Next time you try that, Ill vacation you.

Bill

 

[Fern]

I was going to let this drop without my comment, but I see the thread is still going.

Sexism that just makes guys look stupid

Does anyone else see the irony of a homosexual guy criticising heterosexual guys for their heterosexually-targeted ads. But then complains when heterosexuals criticise a homosexual?

If you don't want to accept any criticism by hetero's about homosexuals, maybe you shouldn't engage in the reverse. I don't mean to imply that you should accept bigotry, but I have seen any of that so far.

Fern

 

[EagleKeeper]

We have had a couple of IN YOUR FACE gay people here.

Then we have people here that are gay and to not atempt to push that knowledge on others.

They do not hide it, but also do not attempt to create threads or post within threads to flaunt it.

Most people here do not care one way or another as long as gays or non-gays do not attempt to FORCE their views on others.

 

[superstition]

Originally posted by: bsobel

The amount of defense I had to post was definitely regrettable. I don't like helping to derail topics, but I won't accept people trying to push me out of a forum

Next time you try that, Ill vacation you.

Bill

The next time I defend myself I'm going to be banned? Is this official policy at Anandtech?

We have had a couple of IN YOUR FACE gay people here.

Then we have people here that are gay and to not atempt to push that knowledge on others.

They do not hide it, but also do not attempt to create threads or post within threads to flaunt it.

Most people here do not care one way or another as long as gays or non-gays do not attempt to FORCE their views on others.

This is pure bigotry.

 

[superstition]

Originally posted by: Fern
I was going to let this drop without my comment, but I see the thread is still going.

Sexism that just makes guys look stupid

Does anyone else see the irony of a homosexual guy criticising heterosexual guys for their heterosexually-targeted ads. But then complains when heterosexuals criticise a homosexual?

If you don't want to accept any criticism by hetero's about homosexuals, maybe you shouldn't engage in the reverse. I don't mean to imply that you should accept bigotry, but I have seen any of that so far.

Fern

The topic was supposed to be lighthearted - poking fun at a silly ad. If you think it equates to the bigoted opinions and behavior that I've complained about you're wrong. You also should look a bit more closely because there is bigotry right in this topic.

 

[superstition]

It's clear to me now that this site's forums are an unwelcoming place for gay posters.

You've lost a member.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: superstition
It's clear to me now that this site's forums are an unwelcoming place for gay posters.

You've lost a member.

good bye.

honestly, you have a big chip on your shoulders, and you didn't get it from the posters on this board. you came here with that chip already in place.

 

[Geekbabe]

My only experience directly with superstition was in this thread.If I've missed threads where he's been out of line, forgive me. However, I have got to say that in this thread I found his participation helpful. The thread was started by a woman stating that her b/friend was really applying the pressure to get her to try this experience. superstition's imput imho, was appropriate and unique in that he'd been both the giver of said experience but also a receiver.

From the female POV, I found his participation useful and I think some folks got up in arms because they basically wanted to sit there and hopefully read posts from women about how much they love anal. The idea that one shouldn't pressure another into performing a sexual act they aren't comfortable with if you're not willing to submit to such an act yourself.. was probably superstition's downfall.

A lot of the comment's made to Superstition in my honest opinon were in fact rabidly homophobic and really painful to read.

Gays are ok here as long as they know their place? As long as they aren't ïn your face" with their sexual orientation? Since when has this rule been applied to heterosexuals?

Is L&R a place where ALL are welcome to discuss intimate issues in a mature manner or is it like an online version of penthouse letters? merely a place to provide a bit of text based titilation?

 

[EagleKeeper]

Originally posted by: superstition

Originally posted by: bsobel

The amount of defense I had to post was definitely regrettable. I don't like helping to derail topics, but I won't accept people trying to push me out of a forum

Next time you try that, Ill vacation you.

Bill

The next time I defend myself I'm going to be banned? Is this official policy at Anandtech?

We have had a couple of IN YOUR FACE gay people here.

Then we have people here that are gay and to not atempt to push that knowledge on others.

They do not hide it, but also do not attempt to create threads or post within threads to flaunt it.

Most people here do not care one way or another as long as gays or non-gays do not attempt to FORCE their views on others.

This is pure bigotry.

Note: that I am not justifying actions, jsut stating what has been observed.
How is it bigotry if people would prefer to make their own choices?

The bigots would be those that attempt to forces their views on others, no matter which side of the fence they are on.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
My only experience directly with superstition was in this thread.If I've missed threads where he's been out of line, forgive me. However, I have got to say that in this thread I found his participation helpful. The thread was started by a woman stating that her b/friend was really applying the pressure to get her to try this experience. superstition's imput imho, was appropriate and unique in that he'd been both the giver of said experience but also a receiver.

From the female POV, I found his participation useful and I think some folks got up in arms because they basically wanted to sit there and hopefully read posts from women about how much they love anal. The idea that one shouldn't pressure another into performing a sexual act they aren't comfortable with if you're not willing to submit to such an act yourself.. was probably superstition's downfall.

A lot of the comment's made to Superstition in my honest opinon were in fact rabidly homophobic and really painful to read.

Gays are ok here as long as they know their place? As long as they aren't ïn your face" with their sexual orientation? Since when has this rule been applied to heterosexuals?

Is L&R a place where ALL are welcome to discuss intimate issues in a mature manner or is it like an online version of penthouse letters? merely a place to provide a bit of text based titilation?

How many times have I said that that's *exactly* what L&R is? 99% of L&R threads could be taken care of with a sticky, and the other 1% are comprised of:

bitch and moan "I wish she had told me that BEFORE I helped her with her 'puter"
brag and jack "Meet new COUGAR!!!!11!"
justification of actions (99% of that 1%) "I got drunk and made out with an engaged girl but it's alright because I love her more and she's really cute and she doesn't really like him anyway and it was only for two months so therefore it really is ok right guys? Don't tell me it's not ok or I'll just bitch just wanted to come here for everyone to tell me it is fine kthxbye!"

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
My only experience directly with superstition was in this thread.If I've missed threads where he's been out of line, forgive me. However, I have got to say that in this thread I found his participation helpful. The thread was started by a woman stating that her b/friend was really applying the pressure to get her to try this experience. superstition's imput imho, was appropriate and unique in that he'd been both the giver of said experience but also a receiver.

From the female POV, I found his participation useful and I think some folks got up in arms because they basically wanted to sit there and hopefully read posts from women about how much they love anal. The idea that one shouldn't pressure another into performing a sexual act they aren't comfortable with if you're not willing to submit to such an act yourself.. was probably superstition's downfall.

A lot of the comment's made to Superstition in my honest opinon were in fact rabidly homophobic and really painful to read.

Gays are ok here as long as they know their place? As long as they aren't ïn your face" with their sexual orientation? Since when has this rule been applied to heterosexuals?

Is L&R a place where ALL are welcome to discuss intimate issues in a mature manner or is it like an online version of penthouse letters? merely a place to provide a bit of text based titilation?

i agree.

the threats and crap from members and mods is digusting. he post a thread on useing sex to sale stuff and a bunch of posters have to get into a gay bashing thread.

and he is threatened with a ban and ran off? wow.