Homeland Security Introduces new Two-Tier Terror Alert

[guyver01]

Actually

http://content.usatoday.com/communi...em-takes-effect-today-replacing-color-codes/1

DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano will announce the new system at Grand Central Terminal in New York City. It will be in place by next week.
Here is how DHS describes the new threat levels:

Elevated: Warns of a credible terrorist threat against the United States

Imminent: Warns of a credible, specific, and impending terrorist threat against the United States.
​

 

[Farmer]

And we pay her how much to make this stuff up?

 

[The Boston Dangler]

And we pay her how much to make this stuff up?

for her, not very much. for the department of homeland security, quite a lot. either way, it's just more bullshit.

 

[Pardus]

 

[spaceman]

ooooo
ooooo
this shocks u
this shocks u
to see whats buried beneath u stupid M$)&$&%ckers!

 

[airdata]

ROFL....

Never feel safe again America!

 

[Jeff7]

More easily understood levels:

OMG: Possible threat.

HAX!: Someone set up us the bomb.

And we pay her how much to make this stuff up?

Your tax dollars at work...just kind of milling around the office though, completely bored, with nothing productive to do.
And now I'm probably on the Watchlist. Down with dissent!

 

[AstroManLuca]

so there's nothing below Elevated?

not that they'd EVER use "normal" or "safe," have to keep up the illusion of constant threat...

has the current terror alert level ever been below yellow since it was first introduced?

 

[IceBergSLiM]

We need to dismantle the DHS immediately.

 

[Scotteq]

so there's nothing below Elevated?

not that they'd EVER use "normal" or "safe," have to keep up the illusion of constant threat...

has the current terror alert level ever been below yellow since it was first introduced?

Nope - It hasn't ever been below yellow. And the change is most likely a reflection on that: "Gee Guys... We've never been lower than Yellow, so why don't we get rid of the status' we don't need any more?"

etc etc etc

 

[mmntech]

America: oh land of the touching my junk and the home of the scardycat.

 

[Bateluer]

At least she's out of Arizona, we've been trying to clean up her crap ever since.

 

[oogabooga]

so there's nothing below Elevated?

not that they'd EVER use "normal" or "safe," have to keep up the illusion of constant threat...

has the current terror alert level ever been below yellow since it was first introduced?

YOU ARE NEVER SAFE FROM THE TERRRRRRRRORISTS!

TERRRRRROR!!!! AAAAHHHHGGGGGG.

Not to belittle their work too much, but it seems if our options as a country are "we should be scared of shit happening" and "shit's about to happening" that's kinda sad and really gives insight into the current state of things.

 

[AstroManLuca]

In a way, though, it's refreshing to see a little honesty from them. They KNOW they'd never use any threat level below "elevated" so they just take it out entirely.

 

[KMc]

I like comedian Ron White's system better:

- Normal
- Find a helmet
- Put on the damn helmet

 

[Lotheron]

In a way, though, it's refreshing to see a little honesty from them. They KNOW they'd never use any threat level below "elevated" so they just take it out entirely.

Well if elevated is normal, wouldn't normal just equate to elevated?

 

[Drako]

We need to dismantle the DHS immediately.

Agreed - just another waste of tax payer dollars.

 

[AstroManLuca]

Well if elevated is normal, wouldn't normal just equate to elevated?

doesn't really matter as no one will pay attention to it in any case

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

I think not having an alert is supposed to be the norm, and then if there's a threat they can put out one of the two alerts.

 

[Pheran]

Giant facepalm.

You can't even make fun of this stuff - it's so damned stupid, it does it for you.

EDIT: After reading this article, I'm thinking the system has been misrepresented in the other one. It sounds as if it's actually a 3-level system, with "no alert" being the bottom state. If that state actually gets used, this could be more reasonable than the old system.

EDIT2: In other words, basically what Ayashi said. 🙂

 

[Kadarin]

Does Homeland Security actually do anything besides serve and increase the bureaucracy of Homeland Security?