Holloween Whopper review

[QueBert]

1st off when the fuck did Whoppers become so expensive? I remember like 10 years ago a Whopper with cheese was like $1.79 or 2 for $3. $5.49 for a 1/4lb burger? $8.60 for a combo?

NOTE: I dislike BK, I eat there like once a year when I'm too lazy to cook and don't feel like driving anywhere too far. I was curious about this Holloween Whopper, it's a Whopper with a bunch of dye so the bun's black, OHHHH! And it has A-1 thick and whatever sauce on it. I do like A-1 on a burger. The bun outside of looking weird as shit doesn't taste any different to me. And it has that blue dye that makes many peoples #2 turn green. I haven't shat out green feces in awhile so I'm looking forward to that, kinda. After I've shatted I'll take a pic and update the thread, just kidding...

Their fries SUCK, maybe as shitty as MCD's, every time I eat there I'm reminded one of the many reasons I dislike BK. And I can't recall as I never ate there much, but before they switched fries some years ago. I do remember the fries being better, but that could all be in my head.

The burger:

It doesn't look right at all, at Black Anus they have this Squaw bread in your bread basket. While it's pretty good, it's in between brown and black and I don't like the color because breads not fucking suppose to be black. But this burger having a black bun is the only reason I went to BK. So kudos to them for a gimmick that's actually getting people who don't like the shitty food there to go try it. My initial impression is wow this doesn't have much flavor. The meat's not as good as it use to be, I've never been a BK fan but Whoppers use to taste better. This isn't horrible, just damn boring. The A-1's too faint, maybe they watered it down or something. The beef's kind of blah, it's not dry, it's just lacking. If this was a $1.99 burger I'd give them some leeway, but at $5.49 this is a very meh burger and a damn awful deal. Now it's coming back to me why I only eat here once a year.

As a gimmick it's pretty original, would I eat it again? Nope, if someone bought me one I would eat it but that's about it. It wasn't horrible it just had nothing memorable outside of the black bun. I am curious how green my shat will be tomorrow. They probably had to use a lot lot of the dye to get the bun this color.

As I take a few more bites I really don't think A-1 & Mayo belong together. Final thoughts: BK how the fuck are you guys still in business?

This thread devolved into something unfit to survive - AT Mod DAPUNISHER

 

[local]

Fitting avatar.

 

[Ichinisan]

How can you review this when you refuse to eat onions? Seriously.

It's like reviewing cookies and cream ice cream that you only tasted without the cookies.

 

[Ichinisan]

Fuck onions, fuck Mushrooms, fuck beans of any sort. I'm not going to be a dick and make a fuss, but I won't eat those under any circumstances. AND FUCK people who aren't picky eaters that want to make it one of their life goal to help me "see the light"

Your opinions about "oh, you just haven't had them made correctly" are bullshit. You cannot prepare an onion or mushroom or beans in a way I'd like, not even in a way I'd eat begrudgingly. I really do appreciate the passion you have for your favorite foods, but they don't apply to me.

...after learning just how picky you are, I no longer trust *any* of your food reviews. How do I know you're really reviewing that thing instead of reviewing your own version of that thing?

 

[Ichinisan]

I agree that Burger King fries are terrible. It feels like I'm forcing myself to eat something that's not meant for human consumption. For some reason, my friend thinks BK has the best fast food fries

The burger:

It doesn't look right at all, at Black Anus they have this Squaw bread in your bread basket.

:awe:

 

[smackababy]

Is it actually Holloween burger or is OP just dumb?

 

[QueBert]

How can you review this when you refuse to eat onions? Seriously.

It's like reviewing cookies and cream ice cream that you only tasted without the cookies.

The original hamburger was beef and bread, that's it. Veggies of any sorts don't belong on them imho, this includes crunchy water (aka lettuce) pickles, onions and tomatoes oh and FUCKING MUSHROOMS! I like hamburgers, not fucking onion burgers. Some cockshit down the road decided to change the original burger and slapped onions and other veggies on it, they belong in a salad not on a burger! I understand this is how many people like theirs, thank god every burger place I've been to outside of Fathers Office in LA lets me order it the way I want. I ordered this with no onions or tomatoes, I forgot to ask for no pickles but I narrowly averted ingesting one after I bit into it and was able to spit it out before it made it past my mouth. I do eat lettuce, I know it shouldn't be on a true burger, but I do like it. BK's lettuce sucks whale dick though so I should have gotten it sans crunchy water.

So's everyone knows the burger I reviewed was made better by the deletion of onions, tomatoes & pickles. While it may not have been what BK wanted me to eat. It was mostly true to the visionary who 1st made one. I salute him for not putting healthy shit on a hamburger!

Is it actually Holloween burger or is OP just dumb?

It's a typo! I don't really care about my spelling and grammar on an interweb forum full of trolls and virgins. IMHO, if I spent time proofing everything I wrote on web forums I'd considered myself dumb for wasting time, but hay that's just me! All I have to do is look at my post to see all the words Chrome underlined due to my lack of caring about spelling on forums. Since Chome will literally correct all my mistakes, I'd say no, I'm not dumb, I definitely don't care enough to fix typos, ever. And I'd say for someone who was typing about 50 wpm one handed while stuffing my face with a burger. I dunno, my spelling's not actually half bad. Keep shooting for a 4.0 GPA on here, maybe you'll be ATOT valedictorean this year!

YES I know I spelled the V word wrong, YES I know how to spell it, YES it was a typo, NO I'm not going to correct it.

 

[Ichinisan]

Is it actually Holloween burger or is OP just dumb?

I noticed that too.

It's supposed to be "halloween," but BK sometimes shows it as "HA1LOWEEN."

 

[Sonikku]

BK's fries are a lot better than they were when they changed them years ago. Before that, they sucked balls. With that said, I have no reason to go to BK anymore. 5 guys simply has them beat. Their fries are the best around (just make sure you get the small fry as it's as big as a large fry everywhere else), and I get a much better burger for $5.50 than I do at BK.

I think the things I like most about BK is the steady stream of coupons they send out every month. Great for matching them at McDonalds' who honor competitor coupons.

 

[nsafreak]

I agree, I have a Five Guys right down the street from me. McD's and BK haven't seen me enter their doors in years. I also agree with the fries although I would say that their smalls are even more that the other guys' larges. They put one big heaping serving into a cup and then overflow about another cup worth into the bag. I don't mind at all since that's easily enough for 2 people so I only have to buy one order of fries, but dang.

 

[JEDIYoda]

1st off when the fuck did Whoppers become so expensive? I remember like 10 years ago a Whopper with cheese was like $1.79 or 2 for $3. $5.49 for a 1/4lb burger? $8.60 for a combo?

NOTE: I dislike BK, I eat there like once a year when I'm too lazy to cook and don't feel like driving anywhere too far. I was curious about this Holloween Whopper, it's a Whopper with a bunch of dye so the bun's black, OHHHH! And it has A-1 thick and whatever sauce on it. I do like A-1 on a burger. The bun outside of looking weird as shit doesn't taste any different to me. And it has that blue dye that makes many peoples #2 turn green. I haven't shat out green feces in awhile so I'm looking forward to that, kinda. After I've shatted I'll take a pic and update the thread, just kidding...

Their fries SUCK, maybe as shitty as MCD's, every time I eat there I'm reminded one of the many reasons I dislike BK. And I can't recall as I never ate there much, but before they switched fries some years ago. I do remember the fries being better, but that could all be in my head.

The burger:

It doesn't look right at all, at Black Anus they have this Squaw bread in your bread basket. While it's pretty good, it's in between brown and black and I don't like the color because breads not fucking suppose to be black. But this burger having a black bun is the only reason I went to BK. So kudos to them for a gimmick that's actually getting people who don't like the shitty food there to go try it. My initial impression is wow this doesn't have much flavor. The meat's not as good as it use to be, I've never been a BK fan but Whoppers use to taste better. This isn't horrible, just damn boring. The A-1's too faint, maybe they watered it down or something. The beef's kind of blah, it's not dry, it's just lacking. If this was a $1.99 burger I'd give them some leeway, but at $5.49 this is a very meh burger and a damn awful deal. Now it's coming back to me why I only eat here once a year.

As a gimmick it's pretty original, would I eat it again? Nope, if someone bought me one I would eat it but that's about it. It wasn't horrible it just had nothing memorable outside of the black bun. I am curious how green my shat will be tomorrow. They probably had to use a lot lot of the dye to get the bun this color.

As I take a few more bites I really don't think A-1 & Mayo belong together. Final thoughts: BK how the fuck are you guys still in business?

You do not know what you are blabbering about!!

 

[Sonikku]

I agree, I have a Five Guys right down the street from me. McD's and BK haven't seen me enter their doors in years. I also agree with the fries although I would say that their smalls are even more that the other guys' larges. They put one big heaping serving into a cup and then overflow about another cup worth into the bag. I don't mind at all since that's easily enough for 2 people so I only have to buy one order of fries, but dang.

Yeah, that's the only issue I have with them. Portion size. I'd much rather have half the serving of their "small" fry for half or even 2/3 the price as their smallest order of fries is way too much for one person.

 

[Leyawiin]

Portion size.

I'm old enough to remember when fast food franchises started popping up. We stopped at a McDonalds when I was nine years old in 1970. First time there and they had nothing but the regular hamburger, cheeseburger, small drink, Filet-o-Fish and small fries. No Big Mac, no Quarter Pounder, no large Fries. Taco Bell was the same - very small menu and nothing too big or fattening on it. In my elementary school one or two kids were fat out of 350. Now its every third kid. I've literally watch America get "supersized" in my lifetime.

 

[smackababy]

I'm old enough to remember when fast food franchises started popping up. We stopped at a McDonalds when I was nine years old in 1970. First time there and they had nothing but the regular hamburger, cheeseburger, small drink, Filet-o-Fish and small fries. No Big Mac, no Quarter Pounder, no large Fries. Taco Bell was the same - very small menu and nothing too big or fattening on it. In my elementary school one or two kids were fat out of 350. Now its every third kid. I've literally watch America get "supersized" in my lifetime.

I had a teacher who was talking about the first time McDonalds in the area started serving black people and he went. He said after getting the burger, he thought they were being racist because the burgers were so tiny. He looked around and realized all the burgers are just tiny!


Also, Taco Bell used to be a great low cost fast food. It is now just as expensive and not nearly as good.

 

[Bubblehappy]

BK is crap now. Honestly, I don't eat fast food often these days, but the last 3 BKs I've been to, the service has been gawd aweful through the drive through. I seriously doubt they'll make it much longer.

In my area there is a McDonalds and BK right across the street from each other. I wanted a breakfast sandwich the other morning, pulled into McDonalds and the double drive thru was jammed packed. Running short on time I went across the street to BK, there were no cars in the drivethru, and it literally took me 10 minutes to get my sandwich. This is a campus area BK as well.

I'll never eat there again. Not ever.

 

[brianmanahan]

Is it actually Holloween burger or is OP just dumb?

definitely the 2nd option

 

[Markbnj]

Yeah BK is microwaved glop, and their fries are much worse than McD's imo, unless they have updated them in the last five years. I avoid the place like the plague. At least McD's has been making a minimal effort to step up their game. In the straight-up fast food drive-through segment Wendy's has them all beat right now, imo, with the possible exception of west coast standard In-n-Out.

Oh, and...

Burger thread go!

 

[Belegost]

The original hamburger was beef and bread, that's it. Veggies of any sorts don't belong on them imho, this includes crunchy water (aka lettuce) pickles, onions and tomatoes oh and FUCKING MUSHROOMS! I like hamburgers, not fucking onion burgers. Some cockshit down the road decided to change the original burger and slapped onions and other veggies on it, they belong in a salad not on a burger! I understand this is how many people like theirs, thank god every burger place I've been to outside of Fathers Office in LA lets me order it the way I want. I ordered this with no onions or tomatoes, I forgot to ask for no pickles but I narrowly averted ingesting one after I bit into it and was able to spit it out before it made it past my mouth. I do eat lettuce, I know it shouldn't be on a true burger, but I do like it. BK's lettuce sucks whale dick though so I should have gotten it sans crunchy water.

With this block of nonsense we can all determine you have:

• No taste
• No food critique credibility
• No chance of entering heaven
  
  I also now have a craving for a juicy burger topped with grilled onions and mushrooms, swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a spicy garlic aioli.

 

[QueBert]

With this block of nonsense we can all determine you have:

• No taste
• No food critique credibility
• No chance of entering heaven
  
  I also now have a craving for a juicy burger topped with grilled onions and mushrooms, swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a spicy garlic aioli.

I have plenty of taste, I'm Cicerone certified which only about 25% of people who attempt actually obtain. My taste buds are exceptionally exquisite. I assure you mine surpass yours on every possible level.

 

[ImpulsE69]

I am curious how a food colored bun has any impact on someone going to eat something they don't normally like. It's the same A1 burger they've always had isn't it? Is there some flavor they added to the bun besides the color?

Also, you do not sound like you are in any position to be a food critic. You have to actually like food of all kinds. Just because you are a picky eater, does not make you a food critic. You are just annoying to your friends when they want to go out.

 

[QueBert]

I am curious how a food colored bun has any impact on someone going to eat something they don't normally like. It's the same A1 burger they've always had isn't it? Is there some flavor they added to the bun besides the color?

Also, you do not sound like you are in any position to be a food critic. You have to actually like food of all kinds. Just because you are a picky eater, does not make you a food critic. You are just annoying to your friends when they want to go out.

The bun's suppose to be infused with A-1 thick and hearty sauce. After eating it I call shens like when dudes on here claim they're not virgins. And I actually do like food of all kinds, I have a pantry and fridge full of different shit and cook almost every day. If I'll eat most things, but not a couple so how does that make me any more picky than anyone else? Very few people are like Anthony Bourdain or Andrew Zimmern and will eat everything.

 

[ImpulsE69]

The bun's suppose to be infused with A-1 thick and hearty sauce. After eating it I call shens like when dudes on here claim they're not virgins.

Ah ok. Wasn't aware of that.

 

[brianmanahan]

because of this thread, i am totally going to BK tonight and getting one of these "hollo-ween" burgers.

plus i gotta use up the remaining 5$ on my gift card

 

[Kaido]

Yup, good luck tomorrow!

http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=2449916

:awe:

 

[Kaido]

I think they should have done up a better sauce. Like maybe a burgerfied salsa verda in Slimer Green to go along with the black bun, which would also make the burger tastier than the watered-down A1 flavor that mine had.

I'd go get another regular Whopper to compare, but that one gave me heartburn until like 2am