Well, I was driving back into town today from my buddy's place in Corvallis when I saw a young guy walking on the side of the road. He wasn't homeless or anything, as he was pretty well dressed. He was carrying a pretty large backpack, which was in decent condition. I figured he was a student and, as I was heading back towards the campus anyway, I stopped and offered him a ride. What can I say, I'm a good samaritan.
"Sure man, that'd be great," he said as he hopped into the passenger's seat.
"So, anywhere I can drop you? You look like you're headed to campus," I said.
"Nah, I'm headed to the Gateway mall. If you could drop me off there near Dillard's (department store), I'd appreciate it."
So I said, "Sure," and we were on our way. We had a brief conversation about what he was doing walking down the side of the road (he worked in the Gateway mall and had to hitchhike to work every day...weird, eh?). After that, I just turned up the radio and listened to the local rock station. That's when things got weird.
My mysterious passenger seemed to get really perturbed for no reason at all. He started shifting around in his seat, pulling on his shirt, and looking pretty uncomfortable. He unzipped the very top of his huge backpack and started digging around inside of it.
"Hey, man, are you okay? This air chaps my lips pretty quickly so I keep the windows up. You need me to let in some air?"
Something in the bag clicked loudly.
"What...what's that in the bag, man?" I asked hesitantly.
"NONE OF YOUR FVCKIN' BUSINESS, BITCH!" he screamed back at me. Alarmed, I swerved on the two-lane highway and glared at him. "What's this guy's problem?" I thought to myself. Still, I couldn't just ditch him on the side of the road. I apologized for being nosy, and kept driving.
About ten minutes later, he started to cough. I looked over and he was doing this weird, twitchy thing with his face. I guess it was a tic. But I noticed he was digging in his bag again. He kept coughing, so I offered him a drink from my thermos (water).
"Nah, man. I'm alright. Sorry for screaming at you earlier. Listen, if you'll just drop me at that first liquor store in town, I'd be much obliged."
"Yeah, dude, it's not big deal. Glad I could help," I replied, taking a sip of coffee. "By the way, I'm sorry if I was prying earlier. I just was wondering what was clicking in the ba--"
"NONE OF YOUR FVCKIN' BUSINESS, GODDAMIT! I FVCKING TOLD YOU ONCE!" he screamed at me again.
I was pretty miffed at this point. He calmed down after a few seconds of hard breathing and helped himself to some coffee. We finally got to town and the first liquor store I saw was Academy Liquors. I pulled over and he jumped out, muttered his thanks, and ran into the store without so much as a glance back.
Oh well, doing good deeds doesn't mean you'll always feel warm and fuzzy. I started driving back to the house, thinking about how basthit insane that guy was. The nervous tic, the coughing, the hitchhiking to work everyday. It was strange.
I finally pulled up to my house and parked the car. As I was getting out, I noticed the dude had left his bag on the floor of the passenger side. I grabbed it and headed into the house.
A couple of my friends and I went out for lunch a little later and this really nice Mexican place, La Casita.
Anyway, it was just a wierd day. Why are hitchikers so damn wierd?
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