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Hippies

So I need to buy flour, but I can't buy bleached flour (the good American sort) because it messes up gluten development or something. Of course every store in town sells bleached flour except Earthy Dirty Hippy Health Food Store, the earthy, dirty, hippy health food store. I walk in and check out the flour, which of course costs three times what normal patriotic flour costs. I check out the other stuff in the store and it's all this normal food but hippified with an organic label. Everything costs three times what it costs in the grocery store and the people who work there are crusty and probably jerk off in the rolled oats. It makes me wonder why hippies, the free society, free spirited peace and lovers, are selling essential food at these insane markups? Of course I have my own theories, like my first theory: hippies are dirty, lying, hypocritical scumbags who sell organic flour and inorganic yeast at high prices to buy vintage Pete, Paul & Mary albums. My second theory involves all the people who work at health food stores being fake hippies in very convincing costumes. These would have to be pretty good costumes, the last health food store I went to had a dwarf working there. I don't think you can disguise yourself as one of those. Plus they keep all of their inventory in barrels in paper bags to make it seem more earthy, despited the fact that that makes the bread go stale and paper bags are worse for the environment than plastic. So basically hippies suck and I'll be getting my flour from the grocery store inorganically as God intended.
 
Originally posted by: monk3y
You need to chill... I don't think hippies care about where you get your flour.
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That's a possibility. However, they established a store right in the middle of town sellng organic flour, so I'm pretty sure they would like me to get it there.
 
Originally posted by: kogase
So I need to buy flour, but I can't buy bleached flour (the good American sort) because it messes up gluten development or something. Of course every store in town sells bleached flour except Earthy Dirty Hippy Health Food Store, the earthy, dirty, hippy health food store. I walk in and check out the flour, which of course costs three times what normal patriotic flour costs. I check out the other stuff in the store and it's all this normal food but hippified with an organic label. Everything costs three times what it costs in the grocery store and the people who work there are crusty and probably jerk off in the rolled oats. It makes me wonder why hippies, the free society, free spirited peace and lovers, are selling essential food at these insane markups? Of course I have my own theories, like my first theory: hippies are dirty, lying, hypocritical scumbags who sell organic flour and inorganic yeast at high prices to buy vintage Pete, Paul & Mary albums. My second theory involves all the people who work at health food stores being fake hippies in very convincing costumes. These would have to be pretty good costumes, the last health food store I went to had a dwarf working there. I don't think you can disguise yourself as one of those. Plus they keep all of their inventory in barrels in paper bags to make it seem more earthy, despited the fact that that makes the bread go stale and paper bags are worse for the environment than plastic. So basically hippies suck and I'll be getting my flour from the grocery store inorganically as God intended.
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hahah
9/10
down with hippies.

"too much bluff is hard to handle, money making hippie scandal"
 
Originally posted by: kogase
So I need to buy flour, but I can't buy bleached flour (the good American sort) because it messes up gluten development or something. Of course every store in town sells bleached flour except Earthy Dirty Hippy Health Food Store, the earthy, dirty, hippy health food store. I walk in and check out the flour, which of course costs three times what normal patriotic flour costs. I check out the other stuff in the store and it's all this normal food but hippified with an organic label. Everything costs three times what it costs in the grocery store and the people who work there are crusty and probably jerk off in the rolled oats. It makes me wonder why hippies, the free society, free spirited peace and lovers, are selling essential food at these insane markups? Of course I have my own theories, like my first theory: hippies are dirty, lying, hypocritical scumbags who sell organic flour and inorganic yeast at high prices to buy vintage Pete, Paul & Mary albums. My second theory involves all the people who work at health food stores being fake hippies in very convincing costumes. These would have to be pretty good costumes, the last health food store I went to had a dwarf working there. I don't think you can disguise yourself as one of those. Plus they keep all of their inventory in barrels in paper bags to make it seem more earthy, despited the fact that that makes the bread go stale and paper bags are worse for the environment than plastic. So basically hippies suck and I'll be getting my flour from the grocery store inorganically as God intended.
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Enjoy your rectal cancer which they'll treat with good old fashioned patriotic radiation and poison.
 
Originally posted by: kogase
So I need to buy flour, but I can't buy bleached flour (the good American sort) because it messes up gluten development or something. Of course every store in town sells bleached flour except Earthy Dirty Hippy Health Food Store, the earthy, dirty, hippy health food store. I walk in and check out the flour, which of course costs three times what normal patriotic flour costs. I check out the other stuff in the store and it's all this normal food but hippified with an organic label. Everything costs three times what it costs in the grocery store and the people who work there are crusty and probably jerk off in the rolled oats. It makes me wonder why hippies, the free society, free spirited peace and lovers, are selling essential food at these insane markups? Of course I have my own theories, like my first theory: hippies are dirty, lying, hypocritical scumbags who sell organic flour and inorganic yeast at high prices to buy vintage Pete, Paul & Mary albums. My second theory involves all the people who work at health food stores being fake hippies in very convincing costumes. These would have to be pretty good costumes, the last health food store I went to had a dwarf working there. I don't think you can disguise yourself as one of those. Plus they keep all of their inventory in barrels in paper bags to make it seem more earthy, despited the fact that that makes the bread go stale and paper bags are worse for the environment than plastic. So basically hippies suck and I'll be getting my flour from the grocery store inorganically as God intended.
Click to expand...

damn, that was pretty good
 
Originally posted by: kogase
So I need to buy flour, but I can't buy bleached flour (the good American sort) because it messes up gluten development or something. Of course every store in town sells bleached flour except Earthy Dirty Hippy Health Food Store, the earthy, dirty, hippy health food store. I walk in and check out the flour, which of course costs three times what normal patriotic flour costs. I check out the other stuff in the store and it's all this normal food but hippified with an organic label. Everything costs three times what it costs in the grocery store and the people who work there are crusty and probably jerk off in the rolled oats. It makes me wonder why hippies, the free society, free spirited peace and lovers, are selling essential food at these insane markups? Of course I have my own theories, like my first theory: hippies are dirty, lying, hypocritical scumbags who sell organic flour and inorganic yeast at high prices to buy vintage Pete, Paul & Mary albums. My second theory involves all the people who work at health food stores being fake hippies in very convincing costumes. These would have to be pretty good costumes, the last health food store I went to had a dwarf working there. I don't think you can disguise yourself as one of those. Plus they keep all of their inventory in barrels in paper bags to make it seem more earthy, despited the fact that that makes the bread go stale and paper bags are worse for the environment than plastic. So basically hippies suck and I'll be getting my flour from the grocery store inorganically as God intended.
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you remind me of my mother and her rants about "the earthy-crunchy people".
 
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