Hilarious somputer related stories
- Thread starter RgrPark
- Start date
Good reading... Anyone wanna share stories?
My favorite is our CA, who is in charge of about 500 PCs, moved a computer, and could NOT figure out why the keyboard wouldn't work. Everything worked fine before the move. It was a PS2 keyboard, with an adapter for an AT connector. After replacing both the adapter and the keyboard, and spending about an hour on it, he threw a tantrum, hit it a couple times, said a few choice words to the computer's unlucky user (remember, HE moved it), and stomped off, vowing to return. So, the user, as always happens after he fails to fix something (or breaks something), comes to me, and says "Fix it, before he comes back. Dear GOD! fix it before he's back!!" (not that he ever comes back). Mind you, I don't work for the IT section, and have, if fact, been told by the CA NOT to work on them. My rule of thumb, is if requires anything on the network, anything requiring opening the case, or anything requiring more than looking in the Device Manager, I don't mess with it. This falling shy, I check, and, yup, the keyboard and the mouse were swapped.
My favorite is our CA, who is in charge of about 500 PCs, moved a computer, and could NOT figure out why the keyboard wouldn't work. Everything worked fine before the move. It was a PS2 keyboard, with an adapter for an AT connector. After replacing both the adapter and the keyboard, and spending about an hour on it, he threw a tantrum, hit it a couple times, said a few choice words to the computer's unlucky user (remember, HE moved it), and stomped off, vowing to return. So, the user, as always happens after he fails to fix something (or breaks something), comes to me, and says "Fix it, before he comes back. Dear GOD! fix it before he's back!!" (not that he ever comes back). Mind you, I don't work for the IT section, and have, if fact, been told by the CA NOT to work on them. My rule of thumb, is if requires anything on the network, anything requiring opening the case, or anything requiring more than looking in the Device Manager, I don't mess with it. This falling shy, I check, and, yup, the keyboard and the mouse were swapped.
This one's my favourite...good page.
NCC Expert- Help desk, what can we do for you?
Me- I have a new mobo I want to burn in, you guys have anything I can run to get close to 100% CPU load? I need to loop it overnight.
NCC Expert- What do you mean? A single program won't stress the system.
Me- It won't? Damn, I've had it all wrong doing these Prime 95 and Quake3 tests all this time. What do you recommend?
NCC Expert- Open Netscape five or six times, and let it run over night.
Me- Really? What causes the stress, the banner adds?
NCC Expert- Help desk, what can we do for you?
Me- I have a new mobo I want to burn in, you guys have anything I can run to get close to 100% CPU load? I need to loop it overnight.
NCC Expert- What do you mean? A single program won't stress the system.
Me- It won't? Damn, I've had it all wrong doing these Prime 95 and Quake3 tests all this time. What do you recommend?
NCC Expert- Open Netscape five or six times, and let it run over night.
Me- Really? What causes the stress, the banner adds?
Hee hee... reminds me of me calling some computer stores just the other day. At one labelled "Number One for Computer Upgrades" I called, asking for a Sound Blaster Live Value Edition. No big deal, right?
Not for this guy.
"That particular unit is about $200".
"What? Even the Xgamer and MP3 retail boxed cards are only $150! The value edition is only supposed to be about half that..."
"You must be thinking of a different card, like the PCI 512."
"No, I'm thinking of the Live series, the ones that all use the 10k1 chip..."
"Well this one uses an even better chip."
"...(biting tongue)... I think you have some homework to do. Better check CreativeLabs.com and see the difference between Live Value, MP3, Xgamer, and Platinum are. Good Bye!"
"...]click[..."
Man, when I was in sales I made an effort to "know stuff"... idiots shouldn't be allowed to sell just because they can fleece people.
Not for this guy.
"That particular unit is about $200".
"What? Even the Xgamer and MP3 retail boxed cards are only $150! The value edition is only supposed to be about half that..."
"You must be thinking of a different card, like the PCI 512."
"No, I'm thinking of the Live series, the ones that all use the 10k1 chip..."
"Well this one uses an even better chip."
"...(biting tongue)... I think you have some homework to do. Better check CreativeLabs.com and see the difference between Live Value, MP3, Xgamer, and Platinum are. Good Bye!"
"...]click[..."
Man, when I was in sales I made an effort to "know stuff"... idiots shouldn't be allowed to sell just because they can fleece people.
yeah i hate computer sales people that try to 'cheese' you. my friend knows absolutly nothing about computers brought in his computer to a small computer store. He had a virus on it . They said that the virus couldnt be deleted and they would have to replace the harddrive!. so when he's telling me this , i was laughing so hard because they took his old 30gig HD and got him to buy a new one for about $300!!!!. then i told him to go back and ask for his old HD so i could just reformate it and use it, and they said " it has already been disposed of.." . he got ripped off soooo bad.
I once played a joke on a friend back in college by typing the following line in her autoexe.bat: "type Stealth virus detected on hard drive. Unable to delete"
About two weeks later we were in class, and she told me she had to pick up her computer from the shop. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "Oh, it was infected with a stealth virus." Doh! I forgot to tell her it was a joke... but the bad news was that the computer shop charged her $75 for "removing the virus."
About two weeks later we were in class, and she told me she had to pick up her computer from the shop. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "Oh, it was infected with a stealth virus." Doh! I forgot to tell her it was a joke... but the bad news was that the computer shop charged her $75 for "removing the virus."
Well, to be honest, "fixing" the statement in autoexec, without fore-knowledge of the problem, would be harder than cleaning a Stealth boot virus. Charging $75 for that is nuts! But, I'm sure you did the right thing by paying her back
<< how can anyone be that dumb to not know what K stands for .... >>
It means we'll all have some REAL problems in the year 2048!!
Well, a few years ago the U.S Army (in it's wisdom) decided that I needed to be trained in how to use a computer. Never mind that I'd been using them since the early 80's. The course was extremely slow paced (imagine a 2 hr block of instruction on turning the CPU on!) and I was getting bored.
We each had a dot matrix printer for using during a portion of the class. I was seated next to a rather unpopular guy- he's the sort that "brownnoses" his way up the ladder. When we took a break, I snuck back in the class room and hooked my printer cable to his printer (and vice versa).
When we would do a exercise, I would make sure I would hit the print command at the same time the guy would. I would get his prinout on my printer- and he would get messages of "You have failed this portion of the Class" "What's the problem, can't you read instructions?" "Well, now I know what sort of Moron needs the help screen" etc. Those are the "clean ones"
It wouldn't have been a big deal, but we messed with this guys mind for two weeks before we finally told him about it- he never figured it out on his own
We each had a dot matrix printer for using during a portion of the class. I was seated next to a rather unpopular guy- he's the sort that "brownnoses" his way up the ladder. When we took a break, I snuck back in the class room and hooked my printer cable to his printer (and vice versa).
When we would do a exercise, I would make sure I would hit the print command at the same time the guy would. I would get his prinout on my printer- and he would get messages of "You have failed this portion of the Class" "What's the problem, can't you read instructions?" "Well, now I know what sort of Moron needs the help screen" etc. Those are the "clean ones"
It wouldn't have been a big deal, but we messed with this guys mind for two weeks before we finally told him about it- he never figured it out on his own
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