johnjbruin
Diamond Member
My frined just IM'ed me a link to this. I thought it was pretty hilarious.
I put all of my energy into this relationship, will you please stay true to me.
As I said earlier, there will be times when I'm not around, but when we have a date set up I won't be late for it.
I put all my enerty into this relationship, I'd love it if you would be my significant other.
I would like to invite you to spend some time in the evening with me.
You know me, I'm the one that all the other neighborhood wives gossip about amongst each other.
I know that there are a few things that haven't been clear in our relationship.
Sweetheart, you understood this affair might involve some heartache;
There's no need to get upset or call the police.
But if you want to have sex tonight, you need to tell me soon because I'm ready,
I can't wait around forever.
My watch reads 2:45 and the girl in the corner obviously wants me to take her home.
I have my Bentley parked in the lot, and it's ready to go.
It's only a quick drive to my house.
We can dress you up; I have a fetish for scantily-clad women wearing boots and sunglasses.
Whilst I pull your hair, you may want to keep a firm grip on the bed so as to remain in place.
I'm a bad boy, I bet you never thought I'd lead you to orgasm
Damn, I'm a sexual deviant?
What we've just done is sacred. Well, at least to you it is.
Woman, you need to be calm and relax.
This might be rough, but we've gotten through much tougher times than these,
Such as those nights when you tried to leave. (note the pun I used here on the "Dear John" cliché. Aren't I clever?)
Yes, the nights where you stole and vandalized my fancy car.
You spiteful woman, you knew the rules when we started.
Guys like me prefer greed to lust.
I can get other girls; you're not the only one. I have two or three women for every car I own.
I give them plenty of "aphrodisiacs" to ensure their desire.
Even the little kids know about me, because I'm that cool.
If you refer to love as a game of basketball, it would be wise to note I am a top-rated professional.
Wilt Chamberlain has nothing on me.
Sometimes when I meet a girl, she's hurting. A night of sex with me makes her feel alive.
Life's a bitch.
Yes, I know this line doesn't really make much sense. But I needed a line that rhymed with "fair."
[with Ashanti]
Our love is something special, regardless of the drama we've endured, and we both care about each other.
There are times I worry you may be cheating on me
since there are nights you don't come home.
But darling, when we do have plans you are always there on time.
We have a special relationship.
You and I, we go way back. Remember how cool bomber jackets used to be? That's us.
We have awesome sex because you're a sexual deviant like I am.
Once we're done I'm out the door before you know it.
But this chick wants me to spend the night. She won't let me just hit it and leave.
When she wakes up she's going to want sex again since I'll be turning her on all night just by being here.
Man, these women need to leave me alone.
I might sound like I'm falling in love, but that's not the case. I'm only in this for the sex. Getting laid every night is serious work, like that of a priest.
And me, I'm basically the Pope.
I'm a true pimp. I have an expensive car and a lot of women, which proves this beyond a doubt.
Honestly, I'm not the kind of guy that falls in love.
Darling, I may not always be available when you attempt to contact me. I am however, punctual.
I put all of my energy into this relationship, will you please stay true to me.
As I said earlier, there will be times when I'm not around, but when we have a date set up I won't be late for it.
I put all my enerty into this relationship, I'd love it if you would be my significant other.
[Ja Rule]
I would like to invite you to spend some time in the evening with me.
You know me, I'm the one that all the other neighborhood wives gossip about amongst each other.
I know that there are a few things that haven't been clear in our relationship.
Sweetheart, you understood this affair might involve some heartache;
There's no need to get upset or call the police.
But if you want to have sex tonight, you need to tell me soon because I'm ready,
I can't wait around forever.
My watch reads 2:45 and the girl in the corner obviously wants me to take her home.
I have my Bentley parked in the lot, and it's ready to go.
It's only a quick drive to my house.
We can dress you up; I have a fetish for scantily-clad women wearing boots and sunglasses.
Whilst I pull your hair, you may want to keep a firm grip on the bed so as to remain in place.
I'm a bad boy, I bet you never thought I'd lead you to orgasm
Damn, I'm a sexual deviant?
[With Ashanti]
What we've just done is sacred. Well, at least to you it is.
[Ja Rule]
Woman, you need to be calm and relax.
This might be rough, but we've gotten through much tougher times than these,
Such as those nights when you tried to leave. (note the pun I used here on the "Dear John" cliché. Aren't I clever?)
Yes, the nights where you stole and vandalized my fancy car.
You spiteful woman, you knew the rules when we started.
Guys like me prefer greed to lust.
I can get other girls; you're not the only one. I have two or three women for every car I own.
I give them plenty of "aphrodisiacs" to ensure their desire.
Even the little kids know about me, because I'm that cool.
If you refer to love as a game of basketball, it would be wise to note I am a top-rated professional.
Wilt Chamberlain has nothing on me.
Sometimes when I meet a girl, she's hurting. A night of sex with me makes her feel alive.
Life's a bitch.
Yes, I know this line doesn't really make much sense. But I needed a line that rhymed with "fair."
[with Ashanti]
Our love is something special, regardless of the drama we've endured, and we both care about each other.
[Ja Rule]
There are times I worry you may be cheating on me
since there are nights you don't come home.
But darling, when we do have plans you are always there on time.
We have a special relationship.
You and I, we go way back. Remember how cool bomber jackets used to be? That's us.
We have awesome sex because you're a sexual deviant like I am.
Once we're done I'm out the door before you know it.
But this chick wants me to spend the night. She won't let me just hit it and leave.
When she wakes up she's going to want sex again since I'll be turning her on all night just by being here.
Man, these women need to leave me alone.
I might sound like I'm falling in love, but that's not the case. I'm only in this for the sex. Getting laid every night is serious work, like that of a priest.
And me, I'm basically the Pope.
I'm a true pimp. I have an expensive car and a lot of women, which proves this beyond a doubt.
Honestly, I'm not the kind of guy that falls in love.
