So I found the needed piece... a plate with 8 bolt heads that came with the Lian-Li 1200 case. I've been trying to figure out what it was for since I got the case, since it was the only piece not on the installation guide. They've just gone down a notch in my book.
Further, the installation instructions that came with the Xeon CPU's look like Ikea directions. I don't think installing a CPU properly has the same level of dumbness as slapping together modular furniture. Their "diagrams" made no mention of anything being mounted on the backside of the CEK Spring. I checked the Intel support pages for installation, which mentioned the CEK Spring, but little more.
Now I've ruined the thermal grease on one of the processors (got the second one right), so I'm going to need to clean and reapply new stuff, right? From what I've read, there is an exact ammount of grease that needs to be applied, know much? I've got half a tube of this "Vantec Thermal Paste" in a tiny syringe (cam with an older system a few years ago), can I use this?