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Help me with my resume

E

erub

Diamond Member
I don't think its very good, but hey its a start. If anybody has a nice format that I can use, I'd appreciate it. I'm applying for a job to work as a retail cell phone salesman. Thanks in advance 🙂

(its Tripod, drag and drop)
Oh yeah, the Resume
 
when it comes down to resumes, EUPHEMIZE EUPHEMIZE EUPHEMIZE!!!

okay, Objective: "To obtain a job in the sales industry.

try this instead: "To obtain an entry-level position in retail"

not "Computer Enthusiast ? knowledgeable about various hardware, software and operating systems"

try:

Computer Skills
-knowledgable in basic computer hardware troubleshooting
-experienced with the following operating systems: Windows 98SE, Windows 2000 Professional, etc. etc.
-experienced with the following applications: Microsoft Word, etc. etc.

"Current Cell Phone User ? knowledgeable about various phones and rate plans" sounds awkward

I don't have much of a suggestion for that. what kind of job in sales are you looking for?
 


<< Customer Service representative ? Sold concessions and took tickets >>



Customer Service Representative, good euphemizing there!
It's like "Petroleum Distribution Engineer" it's great!
 


<< I don't think its very good, but hey its a start. If anybody has a nice format that I can use, I'd appreciate it. I'm applying for a job to work as a retail cell phone salesman. Thanks in advance 🙂

(its Tripod, drag and drop)
Oh yeah, the Resume >>



ugh, me am suck. I just read that ur looking for a job in a cell phone place.
well then, for "Current Cell Phone User ? knowledgeable about various phones and rate plans, just change it a bit.

maybe....
"Knowledgable about various makes and models of cellular phones; always up to date with current rate plans of various mobile carriers"

what do ya think?
 
I have a couple of suggestions. I have been looking for a job for 2 years and written many resumes.

- You could make your objective more specific, "to obtain a job in the cell phone sales industry" You could add the company name also.

- I would put your work experience after education instead of the awards. Put the awards section at the end.

- You could consider leaving out your description of your work duties since. Since they are very short and general leaving them out wouldn't hurt. It might entice the person looking at your resume to call you in for an interview to see what your duties are. Also you have the company name and date switched on one of your work experience entries.

- Another thing to consider is changing the name of "work experience" to "experience." Then put what you have written in "summary of qualifications" into your new "experience" category. Then you can take out your " summary of qualifications"

-Remember this is your resume, so you have the final say into how it looks and what it contains. I hope I have given you some good suggestions. Best of luck.
 


<< I have a couple of suggestions. I have been looking for a job for 2 years and written many resumes.

- You could make your objective more specific, "to obtain a job in the cell phone sales industry" You could add the company name also.

- I would put your work experience after education instead of the awards. Put the awards section at the end.

- You could consider leaving out your description of your work duties since. Since they are very short and general leaving them out wouldn't hurt. It might entice the person looking at your resume to call you in for an interview to see what your duties are. Also you have the company name and date switched on one of your work experience entries.

- Another thing to consider is changing the name of "work experience" to "experience." Then put what you have written in "summary of qualifications" into your new "experience" category. Then you can take out your " summary of qualifications"

-Remember this is your resume, so you have the final say into how it looks and what it contains. I hope I have given you some good suggestions. Best of luck. >>




Wow, those are good ideas, cypher.... i wish i had thought of those.

Welcome to AT, cypher!
 
<< I have a couple of suggestions. I have been looking for a job for 2 years and written many resumes. >>

i don't mean sound like an ass, but that just made me chuckle. 🙂

good stuff cyph.
 
ttt - i changed it a lot - do you guys think i should combine work experience, computer skills and skills (or any combo of the above?)
 

<< I have a couple of suggestions. I have been looking for a job for 2 years and written many resumes. >>

i don't mean sound like an ass, but that just made me chuckle.


me too
 


<< I have a couple of suggestions. I have been looking for a job for 2 years and written many resumes. >>


uhhh........Anyway! Here's my criticism. Hey, you asked for it! 🙂
Put Computer Consultant higher up on the list; certainly higher than "basketball scorekeeper". Yes I know it's going chronologically, but still...
There's a lot of empty space in the entire resume. Write a little bit more about your skills with computers; not just "Windows 98". My mom can use Windows 98.
Lose the boxed titles on the left
Overall, it just seems that things aren't organized very well. Lots of empty space, and it doesn't flow very well. Now of course, don't take this criticism personally. Here's a link to my resume if you'd like an example of how my school teaches us to do it. Also, check out my school's career services website here for all kinds of good tips on resume preparation and examples. Good luck with the job search!
 
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