Help me help my friend

[Eeezee]

Originally posted by: archcommus

Originally posted by: Eeezee
Here's a solution, have him give you the money and order them online for him using your card. It's a debit card, just have him withdraw the cash from an ATM.

No, he needs to get over this.

I agree, but if he's too much of a pussy to get over it, there's the solution.

 

[archcommus]

Originally posted by: gnumantsc
Tell his parents where the information goes when they purchase stuff in a real store it still goes through a netwrok and has to reach the company's headquarters somehow

Very true...

I don't think there's any convincing his mother. I don't really care to. I just want him to make his own decision.

 

[axelfox]

Do debit cards offer protection like CCs? Since it's link to cash, I don't even use DCs for online transactions.

 

[Randum]

ok i know a kid...he was 21...at school....same sht. He says "I dont think my parents would want me to buy a graphics card"

My words of advice...

GROW UP!

 

[GDaddy]

it all goes back to who's roof he is living under, as soon as he gets his own place he can do his own thing, until then he should go by the rules of the house.
My suggestion for him would be to grow up and sit down with his parents and talk it out, maybe then the family together can come to some sort of compromise. Giving him information and documentation to help in his talk would be the best thing you can do for him.

 

[allisolm]

Originally posted by: archcommus

Originally posted by: gnumantsc
Tell his parents where the information goes when they purchase stuff in a real store it still goes through a netwrok and has to reach the company's headquarters somehow

Very true...

I don't think there's any convincing his mother. I don't really care to. I just want him to make his own decision.

I don't know about that. Sounds like you want him to make his own decision as long as it agrees with you. Even if you are right and he is wrong, it looks to me like he made his decision. Leave him alone. He'll get around to ordering online at sometime in the future or he won't. Your life won't be worse and the world won't stop turning if he doesn't. He won't even be damaged (although he may miss out on some deals.) A friend would let him grow at his own pace, not badger him, not try to get him to disrespect his parent's opinions, not tell him what YOU think his parent's rights are. At 19, he obviously isn't ready to sever the ties and that may be just fine for him. Please don't try to force him into doing something that could damage the relationship between him and his parents.

 

[archcommus]

Originally posted by: allisolm

Originally posted by: archcommus

Originally posted by: gnumantsc
Tell his parents where the information goes when they purchase stuff in a real store it still goes through a netwrok and has to reach the company's headquarters somehow

Very true...

I don't think there's any convincing his mother. I don't really care to. I just want him to make his own decision.

I don't know about that. Sounds like you want him to make his own decision as long as it agrees with you. Even if you are right and he is wrong, it looks to me like he made his decision. Leave him alone. He'll get around to ordering online at sometime in the future or he won't. Your life won't be worse and the world won't stop turning if he doesn't. He won't even be damaged (although he may miss out on some deals.) A friend would let him grow at his own pace, not badger him, not try to get him to disrespect his parent's opinions, not tell him what YOU think his parent's rights are. At 19, he obviously isn't ready to sever the ties and that may be just fine for him. Please don't try to force him into doing something that could damage the relationship between him and his parents.

You are right, what's fine for him is fine for him and it's not hurting me at all. About the decision thing, I DO want him to make his own. Not meaning to do what I want, meaning to do what HE wants. And what he wants is to buy it online, but he's choosing to not disobey them. I respect that and I'm not going to cause any problems, but it angers me that he allows it, that's all.

I don't want to come off as a bad guy, I'm trying to help him. Sometimes rules have to be broken, and I can tell he wants to but just can't take the leap.

 

[MisterJackson]

Sounds like you have more of a problem with it than your "friend" does OP. Either the "friend" is you, or you're being too nosy. Whether you like it or not, it's none of your business.

That said, tell him to get one of those one time use Visa or Amex cards. Spend it and there's no risk of getting shanked.

Also, are the parents even saying no to him because they feel online shopping is unsafe? I hear everyone saying that's the reason why but I don't get that from the OP. Maybe they just don't like the kid and want to be hard on him, ever think of that?

 

[archcommus]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Sounds like you have more of a problem with it than your "friend" does OP. Either the "friend" is you, or you're being too nosy. Whether you like it or not, it's none of your business.

That said, tell him to get one of those one time use Visa or Amex cards. Spend it and there's no risk of getting shanked.

Also, are the parents even saying no to him because they feel online shopping is unsafe? I hear everyone saying that's the reason why but I don't get that from the OP. Maybe they just don't like the kid and want to be hard on him, ever think of that?

This definitely isn't about me, don't assume that for a second. What you're not understanding is that this isn't a wild idea that I had and am trying to make him do. This is something HE wants to do. He really doesn't want to spend $50 or more at Best Buy or something. If his parents said okay, he would have done it, and he's pissed off that they don't trust it. The difference between me and him is not the desire to do it, but the willingness to do it regardless of his parents' wishes. IMO, he has every right to do that, because his parents have no authority over his own wages and bank account.

 

[allisolm]

This is something HE wants to do.

What you seem to be having trouble with is that HE doesn't want to do it enough to go against his parents wishes. I don't see why it should anger you that HE chooses that path. Some people NEVER go against their parent's wishes in their whole lives. It doesn't matter as much to him right now that YOU think it's okay as that THEY think it's not. You've given your opinions to him, now let it be. Maybe he'll mull your words over and, in the future, he'll decide differently and you will have had a hand in that process.

 

[archcommus]

Originally posted by: allisolm
This is something HE wants to do.

What you seem to be having trouble with is that HE doesn't want to do it enough to go against his parents wishes. I don't see why it should anger you that HE chooses that path. Some people NEVER go against their parent's wishes in their whole lives. It doesn't matter as much to him right now that YOU think it's okay as that THEY think it's not. You've given your opinions to him, now let it be. Maybe he'll mull your words over and, in the future, he'll decide differently and you will have had a hand in that process.

Your point is valid, he doesn't want to do it enough to defy them. I just wanted to see him get what he wanted for the price he wanted, and to be a bit more like an adult.

But, oh well. He'll still get them. Just for fifty some bucks at BB.

 

[SZLiao214]

Perhaps get him to also but a box of chocolates online or something like that. I had a family friend who was in a similiar situation about buying a dell laptop for thier kid. I told them i could find the same laptop online for 450-500 cheaper (coupons) but they decided instead to go to the mall and buy it from one of those mall kiosk.

 

[archcommus]

I kind of wanted to add something. He's a bit inexperienced with all things financial, actually, such as: he's never written a check, he's never deposited his own paychecks, he's never kept or balanced a checkbook. Basically all he does is work and spend and his mother takes care of the rest. So this added to me wanting him to make his own purchasing decision and to just do something that wasn't directed by his mother. Should help you understand a bit more why I was being pushy.