Help me complete this for fun (MEN only)

[Kitros]

I started a manual for woman as if the were PC's...

please, feel free to add an instruction or two. (originals please)

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You cannot optimize a woman as this is an illegal operation and will only be 'defaulted' upon reboot.

You cannot overclock a woman as they are already running hot, unstable with a core designed for 1/3 their current speed.

Any attempt to upgrade a woman will result in a fatal exemption, as well as a temporary lock-out of personal files, GUI, shared devices and all input/output devices.

If a woman fails to POST or 'hangs' after long overnight down times, do not attempt a second boot, as the woman will boot when she is damn well ready to.

If a woman has a virus, immediately salvage all personal data and media (cd's, FLOPPIES, Zip Discks, etc.) and exit workstation. *NOTE* Even if a CD-RW drive has 'Burn Proof' technology, doesn't mean it can't turn your 'media' into an unusable coaster.

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ya, I got time on me hands, so what

 

[brtspears2]

It will always want to buy a new case every week, according to seasonal changes and style changes.

 

[chiwawa626]

As they age you should get a new less old one

 

[TuffGuy]

VIA's as stable as a woman with PMS.

 

[Kitros]

Always buy the verticle slot loads(like Toshibas), as tray loads are just WRONG.

Only obtain a woman with a MicroATX case, as more bays provide for more wants, needs and useless junk...

LOWER RaM is ideal- albeit slower, there is much less room for error and miscalculation.

 

[GoldenGuppy]

~FAQ~

Q: I have a tendency to overuse my women... I like running them ON throughout the night... will this cause overheating problems?

A: Most users that fall within the norm do not have the tendency to overexert their women... however, if you are in any case an aggressive users (ie: Celebrities, Pimps, *GoldenGuppy) then please consult fig. 12.4.1.2





*Usage not typical


)(GG)

 

[bunker]

Women have two operating systems (Sweet and Psycho) and can be dual booted. Unfortunately there is no boot loader for you to choose which one to start up in the morning. Also, the woman has been known to spontaneously reboot and load the other OS.



*edit for spelling and I'm still pretty sure spontaneously is spelled wrong.

 

[GoldenGuppy]

<< Women have two operating systems (Sweet and Psycho) and can be dual booted. Unfortunately there is no boot loader for you to choose which one to start up in the morning. Also, the woman has been known to spontaneously reboot and load the other OS.



*edit for spelling and I'm still pretty sure spontaneously is spelled wrong. >>




Spontaneously looks right.... as far as dual booting is concerned... if anything goes entirely wrong - just format and reinstall

)(GG)

 

[yoda291]

In depth benchmarking against simlarly configured women will result in a fatal error, regardless of the benchmarking criteria or software.

Software is frowned upon.

Mounting a hard drive should not be attempted until all parts have been optimized and troubleshot.

Before attempting an complex operation, ensure that all parts are grounded, your woman is plugged in and is turned on.

 

[MeanMeosh]

FAQ continued:

Q) I tend to talk to my women. Is this bad?

A) Yes. Although one day science will advance enough for men to understand the language and thoughts of women to have a rational conversation with them, this has no been done yet. Please do not talk to your women. Conversation may lead to further unpleasentry and may cause the woman to spontaneously reboot and switch between their dual OSs*.


* - Refer to post by Bunker

 

[MeanMeosh]

As your woman ages, you might notice the case beginning to fall apart. One might even notice the 5 1/4 bays changing into 3 1/2 bays. If this happens, discard your woman immediately and get a newer model.

 

[GoldenGuppy]

<< As your woman ages, you might notice the case beginning to fall apart. One might even notice the 5 1/4 bays changing into 3 1/2 bays. If this happens, discard your woman immediately and get a newer model. >>




Hmmm - I must disagree w/ this statement - for it is men who's parts begin to 'SHRINK' as they age... 5.25 to 3.5 would be a sufficient/noticible de-construction so-to-speak...

)(GG)

 

[Kitros]

you guys rock! Keep 'em coming!

When preparing to transfer files to woman using correct cabling, make sure the woman is aware that the transfer is in progress, as the woman cannot sort and file that which has arrived unannounced. Failure to do so will result in a complete system crash, and depending on the extremity and volume of files, could result in a temporary or even permanent ban from future file transfers via cable.

 

[MereMortal]

- Your woman must go through a monthly power cycle. Any attempt to touch or reconfigure your woman during this process can lead to serious injury, possibly death.

- Your woman is known to have a faulty memory controller. All data of bad things you have done is properly stored to the hard drive; however, data of good things you have done gets corrupted, and stored on the hard drive as bad things. There is no known fix for this problem.

- If you find it necessary to use two women at the same time, know that this configuration is incompatible unless you put each woman behind her own firewall.

- It is a good idea to put your woman behind a firewall anyway. The unnecessary and constant networking with other women is expensive, and will only come back to haunt you in the end.

- When troubleshooting problems with your woman, the quickest way to resolve problems is to choose the "Yes, dear" option in the dialogue box.

 

[xyyz]

As with any power-user... an upgrade is costly and tends to become obsolte in about 6 months.

 

[brxndxn]

If you finally get one that runs stable, stick with it unless it is too bulky.

 

[The Stigenator]

good ones guys... this is a pointer to find it in the morning and add it to my palm..