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Help me become more hipster

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LiuKangBakinPie

LiuKangBakinPie

Diamond Member
Jan 31, 2011
3,903
0
0
D1gger said:
I teased my daughter about being a hipster last week, and she nearly slapped me. She was definitely insulted that I should suggest she belonged to this trend.

I fail to understand how you would want to become part of a group that is universally ridiculed.
Click to expand...

Wait till she starts to bring the boyfriends home with the baggy jeans and Baseball jackets doing beat boxs at the dinner table
 
D

darkewaffle

Diamond Member
Oct 7, 2005
8,152
1
81
alfa147x said:
5'10'' @ 140
Click to expand...

Good point. Lose 70 pounds, fatso.

Wear a cheap blazer you find at Salvation Army or the like, must be grey or brown and tweed is a plus. Don't forget to remind people you found it at a thrift store and it only cost you $4 but it clearly looks like a $9 jacket. Put one of these in your front jacket pocket since your pants are too tight to fit it in the back and begin writing. Anything at all, but songs or poetry or a screenplay is a plus. Also buy a guitar, you don't need to actually know how to play, and wear it to all the rallies you attend over your back; upside down is preferable. Point out to people ways in which they can stop supporting "corporations" and "big government", and fervently support political candidates who won't make the ballet, but insist it's about the spiritual victory. Smoke a lot, but only Camels since Marlboro is too corporate but you've only ever heard of three brands and Newports are for black people. Make sure your car is a beater wagon or at least has lost it's shine, nice things are for the 1% scum. Start reading the works of famous philosophers and authors and try to reference yourself as their peers, you only need to skim a few pages, and namedrop them often even when it's not relevant. Shower only occasionally. Remember that the fewer fans a band has, the better they are, but speak of them only as though others wouldn't be cultured enough to appreciate them. If they start being successful, they've sold out: spread the word.

Most importantly, don't put any effort into anything except how you look and what people think of you, because success is something the government and their corporate fatcat friends are denying you. Just wait until the revolution and you'll get what's coming!
 
Perknose

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,873
10,668
147
First of all, change your username from alfa147 to 1968PlymouthSatellitewagon.

It's a small change, but a start. Here, I even found an actual pic for you on the web!

1968_Plymouth_Satellite.jpg


If you look closely, you find an albino moose in the background! :p
 
O

OCGuy

Lifer
Jul 12, 2000
27,224
37
91
Send Perknose noodz, and he will change your title from "Lifer" to "Hipster"
 
SP33Demon

SP33Demon

Lifer
Jun 22, 2001
27,928
143
106
Buy everything Apple and create your own blog about it. Don't forget to buy a manpurse (aka murse), or "European messenger bag". Try to grow facial hair even though you can't and don't shave often. Change all your pants to corduroy and socks to argyle. Wallet with a chain. Chuck Taylors or pumas. Fedora or cabbie hat, and shirts that are way too small for your upper body. Congrats, you are now a hipster.

Perk, what kind of pics do you need so I can get the "Baseball Junkie" title? My grandma is still hawt fyi. ;)
 
zinfamous

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,864
31,359
146
Get an iPhone 4S for you iPhone 4S so your Siri isn't lonely.

Then, get matching food and water dishes for them. Also, a totally ironic Levi Garret-logoed leash to walk your iPhones.
 
prism

prism

Senior member
Oct 23, 2004
967
0
0
darkewaffle said:
Good point. Lose 70 pounds, fatso.

Wear a cheap blazer you find at Salvation Army or the like, must be grey or brown and tweed is a plus. Don't forget to remind people you found it at a thrift store and it only cost you $4 but it clearly looks like a $9 jacket. Put one of these in your front jacket pocket since your pants are too tight to fit it in the back and begin writing. Anything at all, but songs or poetry or a screenplay is a plus. Also buy a guitar, you don't need to actually know how to play, and wear it to all the rallies you attend over your back; upside down is preferable. Point out to people ways in which they can stop supporting "corporations" and "big government", and fervently support political candidates who won't make the ballet, but insist it's about the spiritual victory. Smoke a lot, but only Camels since Marlboro is too corporate but you've only ever heard of three brands and Newports are for black people. Make sure your car is a beater wagon or at least has lost it's shine, nice things are for the 1% scum. Start reading the works of famous philosophers and authors and try to reference yourself as their peers, you only need to skim a few pages, and namedrop them often even when it's not relevant. Shower only occasionally. Remember that the fewer fans a band has, the better they are, but speak of them only as though others wouldn't be cultured enough to appreciate them. If they start being successful, they've sold out: spread the word.

Most importantly, don't put any effort into anything except how you look and what people think of you, because success is something the government and their corporate fatcat friends are denying you. Just wait until the revolution and you'll get what's coming!
Click to expand...

Win.
 
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