Help editing a love letter

RecklaZ

Senior member
Mar 13, 2001
305
0
0
edit: thanks for the ppl that helped me with the grammar problems. For the ones that made fun of the letter have oviously never been in serious love. And the reason i posted it here is because im not great in grammer and just wanted to fix the mistakes to make it as perfect as possible, because i dont want to give her anything but perfection. Thanks.
 

arigato

Senior member
Sep 19, 2001
944
1
0
Well, the only grammar mistake I can find is this:

I hear those words all the time from you, I feel foolish when I do because I truly believe that your next to me saying it, but when I turn to look at you I see nothing.

Change 'your' to 'you're'.
 

notfred

Lifer
Feb 12, 2001
38,241
4
0
Does anyone else feel like having a love letter edited on a public forum before delivery is kinda wierd? Seems like it should be more personal than that.

Also, girls like it if you write them out by hand.

and it's not December 9th.


Six days have passed since I've last seen you, but it already feels like it's been six years. It is hard to endure the misery of not being able to see you everyday. I can avow that not one hour has passed without you in my mind. When I start missing you enough to go crazy I close my eyes and out of the sudden darkness comes a beautiful light. No it's not the almighty God, it is God's best creation -- you. I think of you on the beach with the sun shinning upon your stunning body and your hair dangling in result of a breeze (that makes no sense). I think of you dancing in front of me, hypnotizing me with your beauty. I think of you in my bed next to me as I embrace your body with my arms and nurture you with my love. Darling, your love I cherish. There's nothing in this world that I want but you, and your precious love. Don't you feel that we were made for each other? I feel like we were destined to be together. I love you and you love me, at least you say you do and act as if you do, (LEAVE THIS OUT!!!! and that alone is enough to make me believe you and satisfy my soul. I miss you with a great passion and missing you is something I love and hate at the same time. I love it because it ensures me that there is someone special out there that I look forward to talking to and seeing, I practically live for you. But I hate it because I can't have you most of the time and I feel empty when I can't even talk to you. We have nothing but happy times ahead of us and since we love each other we will work out any future disputes, if any. I use to think that there was no such thing as soul mates. I was wrong -- I've found someone that is so special, and beautiful, someone I can call my best friend. Someone that I truly love and is just perfect for me that she can "not" removed be nothing less then my soul mate. When I wake up in the morning I look for you because I feel like half of myself is missing, that is very true leave this out, too. Do you hear that? Listen very closely and you will hear me whisper in your ear the words you love to hear, "I Love You". I hear those words all the time from you, I feel foolish when I do because I truly believe that your next to me saying it, but when I turn to look at you I see nothing. If there's anything I ask from you it is your love, and with love comes trust, devotion, friendship and faithfulness. and anything else love requires remove that part. I will always try to remove this give you more then you ask. Baby, please believe every single word you're reading. Especially when I say, "I love you". Oh baby, I'm so scared of losing you. Finding the right person for me, and falling in love was a huge surprise in my life and life is full of surprises. Think of me, when the Prince of Darkness divides us, but he never will, unless you wish it. I don't like the last sentence, but it's your letter

 

oLLie

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2001
5,203
1
0
This guy's got gumption! hehe... now to go back and read it

*edit* are you sure she will dig this? Cause if not.... don't scare her hehe just tell her you miss her. :)
 

Masas

Senior member
Feb 11, 2001
664
0
0
and remember color coordination
pink stationary + red pen and nice perfume scent
;)

 

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
It is hard to endure the misery of not being able to see you everyday-----> every day
it is Gods best creation, you---->God's best
I think of you in the beach---> I think of you on the beach
in result of a breeze---> as a result of
There's nothing in this world that I want but you, and your precious love---> lose the comma
I miss you with a great passion and missing you is something I love and hate at the same time--->I miss you with a great passion, and missing you is something I love and hate at the same time

But I hate it because I can't have you most of the time and I feel empty when I can't even talk to you--->But I hate it because I can't have you most of the time, and I feel empty when I can't even talk to you

I use to think that there was no such thing as soul mates,--->used

, = a comma

That's what I spotted, I think she'll like the letter. :)
 

MajesticMoose

Diamond Member
Nov 14, 2000
3,030
0
0
Yeah i'm with notfred on this one. Even a friend of mine had one that he was having a group of us look at. I didn't look at it, you're a stranger. I would think that the letter should be from you, not from you and a bunch of anonymous ppl from the internet. Apart from that, good luck man.

m00se
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
Um, isn't this a bit over the top? I am not a girl but if I was I would be thinking it was crazy-corny!
 

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91


<< Um, isn't this a bit over the top? I am not a girl but if I was I would be thinking it was crazy-corny! >>



Nahh, being is love is all about crazy corny. Girls usually like that stuff. :p

He could always write a poem to her if the letter is too much.
 

Presence

Golden Member
May 8, 2001
1,121
0
0

Ill tell you what will happen when you show her this letter....few weeks down the line she will break up with you and she will show this to everyone...be prepared for that. Have a nice day
 

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0


<< Nahh, being is love is all about crazy corny. Girls usually like that stuff. :p

He could always write a poem to her if the letter is too much.
>>

*gag*
 

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91


<<

<< Nahh, being is love is all about crazy corny. Girls usually like that stuff. :p

He could always write a poem to her if the letter is too much.
>>

*gag*
>>



Hey, being of the female persuasion, I happen to know girls go for that stuff. ;)
 

FrogDog

Diamond Member
Jan 12, 2000
4,761
0
0
I got through 4 lines and I can't go on. Some body please end my life if they ever catch me writing anything like this.
 

Ionizer86

Diamond Member
Jun 20, 2001
5,292
0
76
The letter needs a comma before every conjunction in a compound sentence. Example:

I went to the beach, and I swam in the ocean.

There is a comma before the "and" because the part to the left and right both have a noun and a verb.

Overall, I think that your letter will be very touching, and it will have an impact on your significant other.
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
Well I'm not going to say the letter is bad because I'm sure that some people would like it, and I think you probably know your girlfriend better than I do. However, I know that my wife would laugh her ass off at me and I really don't know of any girls personally who would react differently :confused:
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
Skoorb: I triple decker dog dare you to write your wife a love letter.

Mrs. Skoorb,

Hi. I love you. Thanks for marrying me. You are so special.

Love Skoorb

That's about what I'd write :)
 

oLLie

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2001
5,203
1
0


<< Mrs. Skoorb,

Hi. I love you. Thanks for marrying me. You are so special.

Love Skoorb
>>


LoL for the guy who calls his wife "Mrs. Skoorb"
 

Presence

Golden Member
May 8, 2001
1,121
0
0
Well I emailed that to my wife and subsituted 6 days with 4 weeks...and she replied asking for a divorce.

DAMN U
 

RecklaZ

Senior member
Mar 13, 2001
305
0
0
Lol you guys are hilarious. Thanks for the grammar help guys. Heres how my letter looks like now.

My Love

Six days have passed since I've last seen you, but it already feels like it's been six years. It is hard to endure the misery of not being able to see you every day. I can avow that not one hour has passed without you in my mind. When I start missing you enough to go crazy I close my eyes and out of the sudden darkness comes a beautiful light. No it's not the almighty God, it is God's best creation -- you. I think of you on the beach with the sun shinning upon your stunning body. I think of you dancing in front of me, hypnotizing me with your beauty. I think of you in my bed next to me as I embrace your body with my arms and nurture you with my love. Darling, your love I cherish. There's nothing in this world that I want but you and your precious love. Don't you feel that we were made for each other? I feel like we were destined to be together. I love you and you say you love me, and that is enough to make me believe you and satisfy my soul. I miss you with a great passion, and missing you is something I love and hate at the same time. I love it because it ensures me that there is someone special out there that I look forward to talking to and seeing, I practically live for you. But I hate it because I can't have you most of the time, and I feel empty when I can't even talk to you. We have nothing but happy times ahead of us and since we love each other we will work out any future disputes, if any. I used to think that there was no such thing as soul mates. I was wrong -- I've found someone that is so special, and beautiful, someone I can call my best friend, someone that I truly love and is just perfect for me that she can be nothing less then my soul mate. When I wake up in the morning I look for you because I feel like half of myself is missing. Do you hear that? Listen very closely and you will hear me whisper in your ear the words you love to hear "I Love You". I hear those words all the time from you, I feel foolish when I do because I truly believe that you're next to me saying it, but when I turn to look at you I see nothing. If there's anything I ask from you it is your love, and with love comes trust, devotion, friendship, faithfulness. I will always give you more then you ask. Baby, please believe every single word you're reading. Especially when I say, "I love you". Oh baby, I'm so scared of losing you. Finding the right person for me, and falling in love was a huge surprise in my life and life is full of surprises. Think of me, when the Prince of Darkness divides us, but he never will, unless you wish it.



Love Always
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,167
2,399
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
First off, it's really sweet that you're going to all this work to get the letter just right. :)

Now for my suggested revisions (but you knew that was coming )

It's too much to soak in all at once,pick say 2 or 3 of your strongest points and put them into words, the goal here is to give her just a few key phrases that will linger in her mind,that she can remember when's she's missing you, when it comes to this kind of stuff,you want it short and sweet,let the power of your emortions help you carefully select the
words, think less is more :)
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
It's too much to soak in all at once,pick say 2 or 3 of your strongest points and put them into words, the goal here is to give her just a few key phrases that will linger in her mind,that she can remember when's she's missing you, when it comes to this kind of stuff,you want it short and sweet,let the power of your emortions help you carefully select the
words, think less is more


Yes! I agree and since baffled is of the feminine persuassion (perhaps even a female in real life ;)) this is a valid viewpoint :D