Ok, here's the situation. My brother (who has some mental problems) has terrible credit. He has borrowed as much as he could at any point in his life, so he has a ton of debt. In fact, he started a small business (which did ok, but never made any real profit) and borrowed a ton of money completely stupidly and I'm sure it's killed his credit. One day, when he was a little out of it (on a mental episode), a credit card company called and asked if he wanted to borrow any more money, which of course he did. However, my brother found out after opening the account that rather than being in his name it was opened for my father (my brother and father have the same first, last, and middle initial). Now that the account has been suspened for not making payments my mother is trying to figure out what to do. There is approx $10,000 on the card (of which $7k or so is the original amount charged) and we were trying to settle for $4k, because that's about all we can find. However, they are now looking into assests and why the person who opened the account cannot pay the bill. But they're looking into my father's assests (which he has some, but not a lot by any means), as opposed to my brother's (who has less than nothing). My mother and I are afraid that if we tell them that it was my brother who opened the account that he'll be thrown into jail for fraud, when all along this was a big mishap about who the person who opened the account is. What should we do? Should we tell them who really opened the account, or will that be a big mistake? My mother has already settled on another credit card for my brother and has no money to settle this one with. Help?
Help! Desperate CC situation! Advice needed
- Thread starter IronOxide
- Start date
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
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Your choices:
1) Bail out your brother, enabling him to do this over and over again. This will be a lifetime nightmare for your folks (and maybe even you).
2) Let your brother take care of his problems. Luckilly, his credit is trashed, and he'll find it very difficult to borrow any more money unless you bail him out. This is his rock bottom if you let it be.
As for the name thing, why on earth do people make that silly mistake? Can you really be that egotistical that you need to have name confusion about parent/child for the rest of your life? My boss at work has the same problem. His father and him have the same name and his father's bad credit makes things very difficult for my boss. It is time we end that stupid tradition.
1) Bail out your brother, enabling him to do this over and over again. This will be a lifetime nightmare for your folks (and maybe even you).
2) Let your brother take care of his problems. Luckilly, his credit is trashed, and he'll find it very difficult to borrow any more money unless you bail him out. This is his rock bottom if you let it be.
As for the name thing, why on earth do people make that silly mistake? Can you really be that egotistical that you need to have name confusion about parent/child for the rest of your life? My boss at work has the same problem. His father and him have the same name and his father's bad credit makes things very difficult for my boss. It is time we end that stupid tradition.
ya, it's pretty much been a lifetime nightmare, but I don't want to send him to jail by not doing anything. My parents have done far too much for him, (he's 32) but still, I believe I have to do something for him, he's my brother. If we tell the company that they're looking at the wrong person, will he be in trouble?
Ok, step one. Learn to use paragraphs 
Seriously, you should talk to an attorney before you (ie your family) digs themselves into a deeper hole. By "trying" to settle for a lesser amount, you might have already screwed yourselves, depending on the state you live in. Trust me on this one, go to your state bar association and find a credit lawyer, it will be worth at least an initial consult (which is usually free).
Without knowing the specifics, I can tell you that they can not do anything with your father's assets since he did not enter into any agreement with them. The burden is on them to show that he entered into an agreement, which of course they can't do because he didn't sign up for anything.
Your brother's situation is a little more tricky. They can take him to court to try and recover the funds, but it sounds like he's in a situation where the best option might be to file bancruptcy and start over. Especially if he doesn't have any real assets to lose.
Seriously, you should talk to an attorney before you (ie your family) digs themselves into a deeper hole. By "trying" to settle for a lesser amount, you might have already screwed yourselves, depending on the state you live in. Trust me on this one, go to your state bar association and find a credit lawyer, it will be worth at least an initial consult (which is usually free).
Without knowing the specifics, I can tell you that they can not do anything with your father's assets since he did not enter into any agreement with them. The burden is on them to show that he entered into an agreement, which of course they can't do because he didn't sign up for anything.
Your brother's situation is a little more tricky. They can take him to court to try and recover the funds, but it sounds like he's in a situation where the best option might be to file bancruptcy and start over. Especially if he doesn't have any real assets to lose.
KB
Diamond Member
- Nov 8, 1999
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Whos SSN is on the card? If your brothers then tell the CC to go take a hike and deal with him. Then have your brother declare bankruptcy.
If your fathers, claim identify fraud and see what happens. If your bro goes to jail he deserves it. Odds are he will get probation.
If your fathers, claim identify fraud and see what happens. If your bro goes to jail he deserves it. Odds are he will get probation.
crt1530
Diamond Member
- Apr 15, 2001
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Your dad can pay it off or report your brother. If your brother is so mentally disabled that he cannot support himself, your parents should disallow him from having any credit cards. Borrowing money with no intention or capability of ever paying it back is called stealing.
the ssn is my fathers, and so is the dob, and my brother's already on probation, so that looks to be a pretty bad deal
The answer is always "it depends", but you don't have to tell them anything. Definitely don't try to 'settle' or do anything silly like that without looking at the legal options and ramifications first!
I'm not sure exactly what happened, but from what I think happened was that they asked him if his ssn was ____ and he said yes. Anyone see a way out of this?
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
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I realize that I won't get anywhere with this advice. But, the best thing you can do to your brother may be to let him learn from his mistakes. I don't know how bad his mental situation is, can he actually learn?
I see the exact same thing with my cousin (manic depressive). His parents bail him out over and over again. They've spoiled him his whole life and he never has felt the consequences of his actions. In his mind, he can always do anything he ever wants because no harm will come to him. Stopping the enabling would be the best thing to do - even if he is jailed or otherwise harmed.
agreed
32, he needs to learn a lesson that he cannot just continue to borrow and borrow more and more money and expect to pay nothing back
Granted, he is your brother and you feel the need to protect him. On the latter, he has made many bad financial mistakes that only he can be accounted for. I think he needs to come clean and tell the CC company that he faked being his/your dad. See what happens. I wouldnt wait to long.
On the lighter side of things, go see a credit lawyer. I am betting he is going to say the same thing that all of us are saying here. Your brother needs to turn himself in before serious legalities start happening
yes, I understand your feelings on the topic. My brother is manic depressive as well, but he fails to learn from his consequences. There would be no point in putting him in jail, because even after he got back out he would potentially do the same thing. Although, he probably deserves the jail time, as I'm sure he made the mistake of saying that his ssn was my fathers, but if you were in my shoes would you not help your own brother from going to jail?
My brother and father have the same name. I have never once heard of this is even really being possible. It is time for your dad to take the company to court because he never legally signed a document statnig that he would be responsible. If your brother did, then he should be in trouble and you should allow him to be. He needs to learn a lesson here.
and I normally am. I have tried and tried and tried to tell my mother to not borrow money for him and time and time again she has. It's pretty much killing my parents. But I still contend that he shouldn't go to jail. That's just horrible.
oh, and I'm pretty sure my dad knows nothing about any of this, as my mother is trying to protect my brother. My dad is pretty much fed up with my brother.
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
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Exactly. If I were in your shoes, I would care about my brother and try to help. But I would care about my parents just as well. Now there is a choice - do you help your parents or your brother. In a normal situation, that would be a very difficult choice to make. But not in this case. We know your brother doesn't learn from this help. So attempting to help him won't actually help.
Your choice is no longer: parents vs. brother. It is now productive help for your family vs. futile help for your family.
It is easy for me to be an arm-chair quarterback for this situation. It can't be easy to be in your situation. I wish you and your family luck.
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