Hell As Postulated By An Engineering Student

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Perknose

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor
shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs
heat)? Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or
some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,
it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan
during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze." This student
received the only A.
Click to expand...

:hmm: :eek: :awe:
 
Perknose

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,876
10,688
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JoLLyRoGer said:
I've seen this before in a chain e-mail.

Still funny though! :D
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's an oldie and yeah, I got it by e-mail from a friend who copped to the fact that it's an oldie, but at least it was sent just to me and hadn't been previously forwarded to my buddy who sent it, at least directly.

Still not bad, though.
 
disappoint

disappoint

Lifer
Dec 7, 2009
10,132
382
126
Didn't Ralph Malph tell this one to Chachi who then told it to Justin Beiber 30 years later?

Oh never mind those guys were idiots. They'd have to google half the words in that email and they still wouldn't get it. Not to mention 2/3 of them didn't have email till they almost died of a drug overdose. And by drug overdose I mean Beiber almost drove overthose in his Lambo.
 
Red Squirrel

Red Squirrel

No Lifer
May 24, 2003
70,656
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www.anyf.ca
This brings back memories. Outlook Express, on windows 98, over dialup. "Receiving mail..." I can still picture the little icon with the arrow.
 
E

Exophase

Diamond Member
Apr 19, 2012
4,439
9
81
Cute story, but whoever added that last line should have left it alone since it makes it sound a lot stupider.
 
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