He said anyone could tell me why

[MisterJackson]

It sounds like a new "Failed NBC comedy sitcom" begging to be made and bomb.

 

[daveymark]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
It sounds like a new "Failed NBC comedy sitcom" begging to be made and bomb.

It'd be like Three's company, where the OP needs to pretend he's straight to move in

 

[pclstyle]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: pclstyle

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Okay, my ex of 3 years (broke up mid-last year) is living in a house his dad bought him, with his new boyfriend. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house, with a possible 4th bedroom in the garage. His bf pays rent ($450) a month, and is classified as a "roommate" or a "renter."
I don't care that they are dating, it doesn't bother me.
We actually hang out and I help them with stuff and they help me.
I need a place to go when my lease was up. His dad is all about money, and so I asked if I could take the garage room until I am out of school. It's not attached to the house or anything. It's a completely seperate room on the garage.
If I moved in, I could pay $300 a month, and it would probably drop his bf's rent to $300 as well, as his dad would be making $150 more a month.
My ex says it would be weird. I told him if it should be weird for anyone, it should be weird for me. I just need a place to stay and he has one.
He is my best and only friend here where I live. I get along with him, and his bf.

He told me to ask anyone and they could tell me why it's a bad idea.

potential for very, very unpleasant drama.

but if all 3 of you are mature enough (he sounds a little flaky), I don't see why it'd be a problem.

sucks that your best and only friend is your ex

He is not flakey, I just think we have very different views of our friendship. He is an important friend to me. Someone I care about. We went through alot of sh!t together.
I'm a very loyal friend to the friends that I have.
I think he sees his new life now and that there is only limited room for things from his past.
Oh well.

Heh, if you can see that, then what are you still doing? Props to loyalty and all that crap, but he can always get a dog.

If he views his past as nothing more than the past, and sees the chance to move forward with minimal baggage a great opportunity, then what's left of your relationship is on a one-way street to oblivion. Might even get to the point where you're just an annoyance, and I'm pretty damn sure that's not where you want to be.

A little objectivity:
1) He is your best and only friend in the area, you want to remain close to him, see no problem with living under the same roof.
2) He has a new SO, and doesn't want you living even in his garage.

There's so much visible correlation between your emotion and subsequent cause/effect -- probably why you might by deluding yourself, hence his statement "anyone can tell you".

Don't know any of the respective parties for sh!t, but if I were to guess, it's probably a very one-sided relationship, and one that can easily turn sour (more so).

 

[daveymark]

My only rule with friends: never go into business or live together.

 

[HBalzer]

Gay drama is so Gay!

 

[Baked]

Because his new bf will head shot you w/ a loaded assault shotgun.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Originally posted by: pclstyle

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: pclstyle

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Okay, my ex of 3 years (broke up mid-last year) is living in a house his dad bought him, with his new boyfriend. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house, with a possible 4th bedroom in the garage. His bf pays rent ($450) a month, and is classified as a "roommate" or a "renter."
I don't care that they are dating, it doesn't bother me.
We actually hang out and I help them with stuff and they help me.
I need a place to go when my lease was up. His dad is all about money, and so I asked if I could take the garage room until I am out of school. It's not attached to the house or anything. It's a completely seperate room on the garage.
If I moved in, I could pay $300 a month, and it would probably drop his bf's rent to $300 as well, as his dad would be making $150 more a month.
My ex says it would be weird. I told him if it should be weird for anyone, it should be weird for me. I just need a place to stay and he has one.
He is my best and only friend here where I live. I get along with him, and his bf.

He told me to ask anyone and they could tell me why it's a bad idea.

potential for very, very unpleasant drama.

but if all 3 of you are mature enough (he sounds a little flaky), I don't see why it'd be a problem.

sucks that your best and only friend is your ex

He is not flakey, I just think we have very different views of our friendship. He is an important friend to me. Someone I care about. We went through alot of sh!t together.
I'm a very loyal friend to the friends that I have.
I think he sees his new life now and that there is only limited room for things from his past.
Oh well.

Heh, if you can see that, then what are you still doing? Props to loyalty and all that crap, but he can always get a dog.

If he views his past as nothing more than the past, and sees the chance to move forward with minimal baggage a great opportunity, then what's left of your relationship is on a one-way street to oblivion. Might even get to the point where you're just an annoyance, and I'm pretty damn sure that's not where you want to be.

A little objectivity:
1) He is your best and only friend in the area, you want to remain close to him, see no problem with living under the same roof.
2) He has a new SO, and doesn't want you living even in his garage.

There's so much visible correlation between your emotion and subsequent cause/effect -- probably why you might by deluding yourself, hence his statement "anyone can tell you".

Don't know any of the respective parties for sh!t, but if I were to guess, it's probably a very one-sided relationship, and one that can easily turn sour (more so).

I guess I am glad I posted this because I could not really see that.
I want him to be happy but I wanted to be part of that, as a friend, but I think I am more of an afterthought now.
Perhaps he feels obligated to talk to me because of everything that's happened. I don't want that.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Originally posted by: daveymark
My only rule with friends: never go into business or live together.

He and I lived together for 2 1/2 years. I moved out not too long after he broke up with me because he would probably start dating and I could not deal with that living in the same house. That's just salt on a fresh wound.

 

[Amused]

I have to agree with the majority and say it's a bad idea.

And if he's uncomfortable with it, any plans on your part should stop right there. Friends don't make friends uncomfortable... ex's or not.

 

[JDrake]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Bad Idea

true that

 

[markgm]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Don't do it. You'd be making a huge mistake. Its sounds like your trying to hold onto him still. Even if you need a place to stay your better off finding a place elsewhere.

Im actually kind of in love with someone else right now. And it's not him.
I think people are right, and I am better of going someplace where I am wanted.

Maybe things are different in your world, but there are a couple of reasons why 'anyone' could tell you this is a bad idea.

I use "I" below because "one" just sounds weird after the 3rd time...

If I was dating you I wouldn't want you living with your ex.
If I was dating your ex I wouldn't want his ex to move in.


You feel that he's your only friend down there that you really trust (or something like that.) If he knows this and doesn't feel the same way, that means that you'll be around and he can't ignore you like he can when you live a few miles away and want to hang out.

On the flip side, you just became the third wheel and it'll only lead to hurt feelings. If they always go out and do things together (like normal people who are dating do) and you're not invitied, eventually you'll have hurt feelings. Roommates do things together, like make dinner, see a movie, go camping. When you're with folks who are dating, they don't always want you around. If you used to date one of them, I doubt they'd want you around much. It doesn't matter if they tell you the opposite, they're being polite.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Originally posted by: markgm

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Don't do it. You'd be making a huge mistake. Its sounds like your trying to hold onto him still. Even if you need a place to stay your better off finding a place elsewhere.

Im actually kind of in love with someone else right now. And it's not him.
I think people are right, and I am better of going someplace where I am wanted.

Maybe things are different in your world, but there are a couple of reasons why 'anyone' could tell you this is a bad idea.

I use "I" below because "one" just sounds weird after the 3rd time...

If I was dating you I wouldn't want you living with your ex.
If I was dating your ex I wouldn't want his ex to move in.


You feel that he's your only friend down there that you really trust (or something like that.) If he knows this and doesn't feel the same way, that means that you'll be around and he can't ignore you like he can when you live a few miles away and want to hang out.

On the flip side, you just became the third wheel and it'll only lead to hurt feelings. If they always go out and do things together (like normal people who are dating do) and you're not invitied, eventually you'll have hurt feelings. Roommates do things together, like make dinner, see a movie, go camping. When you're with folks who are dating, they don't always want you around. If you used to date one of them, I doubt they'd want you around much. It doesn't matter if they tell you the opposite, they're being polite.

I am not just some "ex" is the thing. Or at least I thought I was more than that.
Regardless, I just wrote him an email saying I was sorry for bothering him with the idea.