Have you found Jesus?

[Slappy00]

Jesus saves!


...takes half-damage...

/slaps knee

 

[thirdlegstump]

I am a man of God. He shall SMOTE YOU TO THE DIRTY GROUND!!!!!!!

 

[shiner]

Originally posted by: Fx02

Originally posted by: shinerburke
Pretty sure he took my order at the taco stand I had lunch at today.

YOu're so racist! just because every beloved patriot works at every Taco Bell doesn't mean their names are "JESUS"

ME racist? Uh huh....riiiiight.

Furthermore I wasn't at Taco Bell.....I was at a local hole in the wall taco stand......

So anyway.....bite my ass!!!

 

[erikistired]

Originally posted by: anxi80
yes, and he built my hotrod.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

soon i discovered that this rock thing was true
jerry lee lewis was the devil
jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
all of a sudden, i found myself in love with the world
so there was only one thing that i could do
was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

 

[dethman]

i have a question how come hispanics always name their kids jesus but white people don't?

 

You children have no sense of humor.

 

[thomsbrain]

i finally found him underneath the sofa cushions, next to some loose change and a melted piece of bazooka joe. he'd been there for a while; the mice had eaten most of his carcass. poor jesus.

 

[loup garou]

Yes. Now I'm hiding and he's in the living room counting.

 

[Demo24]

Originally posted by: dethman
i have a question how come hispanics always name their kids jesus but white people don't?

their catholic.

that is all

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: fisher
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

soon i discovered that this rock thing was true
jerry lee lewis was the devil
jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
all of a sudden, i found myself in love with the world
so there was only one thing that i could do
was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

:beer: for catching the ministry reference!

 

[Oger]

Jesus is turning over in his grave because of this thread

 

[LOLyourFace]

Originally posted by: Oger
Jesus is turning over in his grave because of this thread

is that intentional? he was never buried! blasphemy!

 

[Ausm]

I saw him at the local 7-11 with Elvis

Ausm

 

[Oger]

It was a joke LOLyourFace

Notice the wink and smilies.

 

[dethman]

Originally posted by: DEMO24

Originally posted by: dethman
i have a question how come hispanics always name their kids jesus but white people don't?

their catholic.

that is all

so are white people.

 

[Mucho]

He is writing all the names of people who posted in this thread.

 

[CrackRabbit]

Originally posted by: dethman

Originally posted by: DEMO24

Originally posted by: dethman
i have a question how come hispanics always name their kids jesus but white people don't?

their catholic.

that is all

so are white people.

yes, but white people name thier kids other stupid crap like espn and apple.

 

[MartyMcFly3]

Yeah he was out in back having a beer and "keeping it real"...

 

[MithShrike]

I found him I did! Then I called America's Most Wanted.

 

[BatmanNate]

My mom found him trapped in an old Manischewitz bottle behind the dumpster at the 7-11.

 

[Darilus]

Originally posted by: Slappy00
Jesus saves!


...takes half-damage...

/slaps knee

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: anxi80

Originally posted by: fisher
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

soon i discovered that this rock thing was true
jerry lee lewis was the devil
jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
all of a sudden, i found myself in love with the world
so there was only one thing that i could do
was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

:beer: for catching the ministry reference!

In my dang a ding a ding a ding dong
A sticky sticky son of a gun
Ding a danga danga dong dong ding dong
Why why never know
Why why wack a dong a dang ding dong
Then you take it on the bill
Ding dang dong don?t dong
Whoa!

Best lyrics evar!

 

[Tates]

I met him at the local casino, and he gave me some advise...

Always hit on a soft sixteen

 

[MithShrike]

Originally posted by: Oger
Jesus is turning over in his grave because of this thread

Wait a minute wasn't he supposed to ascend to heaven to sit at the right hand of Gawd?

 

[imported_Trippin315]

I was going to try a post a joke or come clever spin the name of Christ but I think they have all been done. So Bravo to everyone. The only thing that I can do now is quote lyrics from The Bloodhound Gang:

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick
You just can't teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy holier than thou facade
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God