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Have you ever SERIOUSLY considered suicide?

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Many years ago, as a selfish, stupid, drunk twentysomething. Now that I have a child of my own, I see that my suicide would have hurt my parents more than I could ever have imagined.
 
tried 5 times. was in coma last time.

God, in his patience, saved me in each.

No more of that. What a turn around from all that mess. Good family, kids, job etc. I know where the people are in their heart and mine when they are thinking about it. Worst place you could ever be. There is hope,

LIFE IS worth LIVING. You must love yourself.

jC
 
I've been battling depression for years, so yes, I have contemplated it on numerous occasions although I never actually seriously attempted it. I can't imagine how I managed before I was finally diagnosed and starting taking medication a couple of years ago.

These days, I still have thoughts of it occasionally but the thought of my wife, our cats and our families is what holds me back.
 
I haven't thought about suicide but I've often pondered whether or not my life has any meaning to it. I mean I enjoy life and I take the time to appreciate life's little miracles, but even so, some days I do have the glum feeling as if I'm just passing the time until death inevitably finds me. Fortunately, when that happens I just go down to the beach and watch the waves or do a little snorkeling, which never fails to cheer me up. 🙂
 
Originally posted by: jjones
I haven't thought about suicide but I've often pondered whether or not my life has any meaning to it. I mean I enjoy life and I take the time to appreciate life's little miracles, but even so, some days I do have the glum feeling as if I'm just passing the time until death inevitably finds me. Fortunately, when that happens I just go down to the beach and watch the waves or do a little snorkeling, which never fails to cheer me up. 🙂
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"You are not a unique and beautiful snowflake!" 😉

Seriously, I know exactly what you mean about wondering whether your life actually means anything. That's usually the thing that brought me down when I was having a depression episode.
 
I once started taking 2 full boxes of sleeping tablets (about 50 or so) and was knocked out by them when I got to around the 35th one.

I was found almost straight away as I happened to be sitting infront of the computer on a chair and fell off and made a very loud thud when I hit the floor.

I learnt 2 things from the entire episode, firstly girls are not worth it and secondly, if you ever want the longest bestest sleep you could ever imagine, 35 sleeping tablets under supervision is the best way.

Have been a lot happier since then too, although very much still in love with my ex I would never harm myself for her or anyone else *ever*. I don't intend to go before my time.
 
so weird to me... I love being alive too much to ever even consider it.. and thats including times of true deep depression... I've never even been close to considering it.
 
I think a big problem (at least in my case) was that I was so concentrated on the present. All I saw in my life was HS and I looked about as far forward as the weekend. I had contemplated committing suicide for approx 2 years (soph and junior year of HS), and had come pretty close to doing so (alcohol and pills, I drank the alcohol but even being that fcvked up, realized I just couldnt make myself swallow the 6 vicadins I had) but finally about mid-way through my Sr year I realized something. None of the sh!t I did in HS mattered, I'm never going to see these people again, and I'm going to get a fresh start on life and not have to deal with the petty bullsh!t of being a 14-16 year old. I've been pretty darn happy ever since and am looking forward to going to college quite a bit.
 
I did once, about 11 years ago, and had the plan all worked out.

That's when I said "No, no way in HELL!", and never looked back at suicide again.
 
I was misdiagnosed as Bi-Polar (Manic depressive) for years. I was on Paxil for ages, until that just left me feeling flat. So, they tried me on all different types of meds.

I wanted to kill myself many times. Thought about it, planned it, obsessed over it. But the bottom line was that I could not do that to VeggieFrog. I mean, I would be gone so would not see the fallout from my actions. But I knew in my heart that she would never ever get over it and never be right again. I could not do that to her.

Hopefully, there is someone in your life that you love enough to keep you holding on until you can think, feel clearly. Just long enough until you can find what you need to fill your heart.

And if I might suggest... on the Bi-Polar thing... get a second opinion. Seems to me that there are so many doctors and professionals that in a huge hurry to write stuff off to depression, PTSD, AADD, Bi-Polar, Hyperactivity... etc.. and write perscription too easily. Like never before, we are a nation of 'medicated for depression' society. Many times the meds will continue the cycle. I am not suggesting that you are not bi-polar, or that you don't have a problem. I am just suggesting that you get a second opinion.

And get counseling. Pronto. Might seem like a lame idea. But you need to do that. And talk to you parents. They will probably understand a lot better that you think.

🙂 Good Luck.
 
This thread is absolutely frightening... I had no idea so many ATOTers are so troubled...

Ever since I was a kid when I really wasn't "cool", I percieved most people of being hip and confidant, and myself as not. Here I am 26 years old, and believe it or not, I percieved the people on ATOT as being genuinely cool people... and myself as not. It's interesting to see the other side of people... to see all of your vulnerabilities... and to see that in reality, I'm doing quite ok.

Our perceptions of each other are pretty damn flawed when you really look at it huh?

-max
 
Well not suicide but more homicide. I want to get a HumVee and terrorize all the horrible drivers out on the road. If I get killed during this, oh well. At least I would have taken others with me.
 
eh like I've said, I wouldnt pull the trigger... but i hell dont care if someone else does. Though i would try to beat the crap outta them while i was at it.
 
Not so seriously I used to consider fairly frequently in HS. But once I did actually very seriously consider it. The irony is that the next day I had to give a presentation about teenage suicide. During the presentation I totally broke down, as did most of the class. My ten minute presentation became an hour long open discussion on peoples experiences with suicide and depression. A very touching moment all in all found out that I was far from alone in comtemplating it and that a few in the class had actually attempted it. I got an A on the presentation for eliciting such an emotional response.

Anyways after HS I've never considered it. I've enjoyed the hell out of life and while it has its downs there are too many possibilities to want to end it before my time. I'm here for the ride as long as it lets me stay.
 
Back in my teen years, yeah, I thought about it a lot. I guess it goes with the age, or hormones, or whatever.

Now that I'm a lot older, I guess I'm too lazy to do it. I mean, suicide takes a lot of effort. If I had enough oomph to do that kind of effort, I could do something worthwhile.

And then I stop thinking, grab another beer, and settle in at the monitor for some more surfing.
 
there were times i was frustrated beyond control, but i never came around to actually do something in an attempt to commit a suicide.
in my early days of military, i always hoped i wouldnt wake up next morning. scariest part is i am pretty sure i wasnt the only one at that, all my peers reminisce those days with scarred memories. yeah it toughens you out and blah blah blah but you had to be there to feel what its like. no, i am not talking about US military either, i am talking about mandatory service where you dont get paid SH!t and get abused by officers and all the 'elders' in the barracks and get treated like slaves in general; rarely yet sometimes we would tell GI's on our base what our life is like and they would look at us with such incredulous eyes 😱 consider yourselves lucky for not having to go thru conscription BS 😛
 
i too am shocked at how many people on these boards have honestly considered suicide, and even attempted it! the thought has NEVER crossed my mind. I also know that suicide is the pvssy's way out. it is very selfish and is the most pvssy to go out.

still .. after reading all these replies i am amazed at how many people have thought about this ... shocking.
 
Yes I have.

I still have a couple suicide notes stuffed in a notebook that I take out and read from time to time (gives me perspective now). I also have a list of the funeral arrangements I wanted in that notebook. Luckily, I have some AMAZING friends who kept me busy and helped me work through it.
 
Originally posted by: Nik
Yes. Tried it a few months ago.
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Again I have to say you must not have really "tried." It can't be that hard to actually commit suicide if you're willing. Otherwise it's almost certainly an elaborate attention-getter.
 
Originally posted by: bradruth
Originally posted by: Nik
Yes. Tried it a few months ago.
Click to expand...

Again I have to say you must not have really "tried." It can't be that hard to actually commit suicide if you're willing. Otherwise it's almost certainly an elaborate attention-getter.
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Not to kick someone when they're down but got to agree here. It's why I've never tried. Not much chance of surviving something like a shotgun blast to the head 😛
 
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