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J

jobert

Senior member
HOW TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT:

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese Communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand; in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't, because the right people haven't been in charge.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar and probable sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that a homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger
scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that Al Gore really did invent the Internet.
 
A liberal is someone who believes the NRA is filled with murderers and Death Row is filled with innocents.
 
Yup Yup Yup - you also have to think eating red meat is wrong but killing whales to create hair spray is ok.
 
to quote Cartman "Democrats piss me off"
but so do all other politicians. I'm proud to say I'm almost 20 and not a registered voter.
 
I think it's pretty good. I agree with the "dumbing-down" comment though.

This year's election comes down to making a choice between 2 bad choices.

BTW reitz... If you don't vote you have NO RIGHT to bitch. Not being registered to vote is NOT something to be proud of...

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. (Dennis Miller)
 
Many of those are true, some are definitely stretching it. Amusing nevertheless.

I can't speak for "them" considering I'm not liberal, but obviously all Democrats don't believe Al Gore invented the Internet.


 
Clinton lies to cover up treason
Carville lies 'cause lying's "in season"
But AL GORE lies for no apparent reason!

If liberals had a clear vision, common sense, and integrity, they would be conservatives.

Liberal: A person who will give you the shirt off someone else's back.
 
Uh, teknoid, I'm 22, and I've never missed an election. I've voted in every primary and general election since 1996. Go back and read my post again; I was responding to someone else 🙂
 
OOOPS... My mistake reitz. Guess I should have shot that arrow at thraashman.

Humbly apologies...

I'm 42 and have never missed an oportunity to vote at both the local and national levels.

Like I said "you can't bitch if you don't vote" and I just LOVE to bitch.
 
so true.

and yes, people that think they're going against the establishment by not voting are idiots. they have every right to complain, as per the constitution, but they're just showing off how absolutely stupid they are.

i know several people (democrats) who refuse to register to vote because they don't want to get stuck with jury duty. and they complain like you wouldn't believe about "the evil conservitaves" in the government.

it's probably best that those people don't vote anyway, since for the most part their opions are they exact opposite of mine (read: don't matter).

my favorite on that list is #16. speaking of, does anyone here watch family guy? funny show. but anyway one the funniest lines i can remember was in the episode where peter creates his own country. that asian reporter goes to inteview lois and she says (not verbatim) "i sort of see myself like hillary clinton, just without the penis and all"
 
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