My financee and I have been talking lately about our financial situation and to be honest going off somewhere for a small wedding seems like the best plan. Of course we're going to fill in our parents out of respect to hear them out on this. I'd much rather put $10K down on a house in a couple years (I'm 25 now and she's 22) than spend it on one day. I am not very close to my Father's side of the family.. just my Mother's so it wouldn't upset too many people. My fiancee is close to her immediate family mainly so we're considering just including immediate family in a private wedding. Do any of you guys have experience with this? How did it go? Any regrets? Any suggestions of where to go to get married, take a small 2day vacation with the fam and then part off for the honeymoon? I don't mind spending around $2K or so. It was my finacees idea in the first place... I was seriously saving up a little for a medium sized wedding. But now that I think about it, I really don't want to have an extra payment every month for 10 yrs paying off the rest.
Has anyone here ever...
- Thread starter SirChadwick
- Start date
My parents were married by a judge in a court house. That's as small a wedding as you can legally get.
To this day they've never done a ceremony and have no intention of doing that.
What's best about your post is that your fiancee came up with the idea. Invite the immediate family, but it's still required that you have an open bar. You're an asshole if you don't.
To this day they've never done a ceremony and have no intention of doing that.
What's best about your post is that your fiancee came up with the idea. Invite the immediate family, but it's still required that you have an open bar. You're an asshole if you don't.
Yea, I'm so thankful that my finacee suggested this idea. I know that 90% of those who discuss eloping don't follow through... but then again we don't really want to call it "eloping". Moreso just avoiding extra costs and friends of friends, etc. Open bar? I think we'll just take the fam out for a good night of celebration on my tab.
The year was 1978, when I ran off with my fiancee, at her parent's disapproval, to Las Vegas, where we were married. We're still married. 
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
The year was 1978, when I ran off with my fiancee, at her parent's disapproval, to Las Vegas, where we were married. We're still married.
Awesome!!! I was seriously considering doing this until my fiancee told me how important it was that I ask her father's permission.... after getting through that hour of sweating balls, nothing could be worse.
Good enough on the tab idea since it might be cheaper with a small ceremony. People also won't be as likely to drink as much if you're just in a bar. It's unfortunate, but they won't think twice if the bar is simply open
Originally posted by: Eeezee
Good enough on the tab idea since it might be cheaper with a small ceremony. People also won't be as likely to drink as much if you're just in a bar. It's unfortunate, but they won't think twice if the bar is simply open
Well, my fiancees father doesn't drink.. nor does my mother or step-dad so basically it would only be about 8 of us drinking total - not bad at all. Oh, and her parents said they'd help out and I know mine will too.
Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Originally posted by: Eeezee
Good enough on the tab idea since it might be cheaper with a small ceremony. People also won't be as likely to drink as much if you're just in a bar. It's unfortunate, but they won't think twice if the bar is simply open
Well, my fiancees father doesn't drink.. nor does my mother or step-dad so basically it would only be about 8 of us drinking total - not bad at all. Oh, and her parents said they'd help out and I know mine will too.
I don't see the downside in doing this. If you regret it later there's nothing stopping you from holding a big ceremony after the fact
We've talked about that also. Maybe have a big 10 yr anniversary celebration and invite everyone.
Yes.
My wife and I were planning a traditional wedding, but her father and step-mother wouldn't stop acting like control freaks and overruling damn near every decision we made. Her father is a very successful divorce attorney with high-up "friends" that he's always worried about impressing, and he didn't "approve" of a lot of our choices. Because he was funding most of the wedding, he held everything over our heads.
After this went on for a couple months, I told my wife "look... this isn't going well at all and you need to talk to him. I'll start participating again once you and I have a voice in all of this". To my wife's credit, she stood up for us. The two of them had a few blow-outs, but it's one of those rare instances where my wife actually stood up for herself to her family.
But despite digging her heels in, her father still wouldn't budge on a lot of things and was just plain being a dickhead. So one day my wife threw her hands up in the air and just said 'fsck it'. "We should just go to Vegas." She was kind of joking, but I was already booking tickets before she finished the sentence. "Fsck it... WE SHOULD! Seriously!"
So, we got married in Vegas. We still planned it out over about 6 months, but it was SO much easier! We just told everyone "hey, this is where we're going and this is when we're going to be there. You're invited if you want to come." A lot of the places in Vegas are very good at helping plan a wedding, too. You really don't have to sweat the small stuff. In most cases, they've thought of everything. It took all of the pressure out of it and it was a blast. We stayed out there for a week and just took in the whole atmosphere. We went back for our first anniversary, too.
NO regrets! Unless you're dead-set on a traditional wedding, I'd recommend it to anyone. We had so much damn fun, and the cool thing is that everyone who came also had a lot of fun. Most wedding are just about the two people getting married, and it's mean to put your loved ones through 6 hours of your self-adoration. Get everyone out to Vegas instead!
My wife and I were planning a traditional wedding, but her father and step-mother wouldn't stop acting like control freaks and overruling damn near every decision we made. Her father is a very successful divorce attorney with high-up "friends" that he's always worried about impressing, and he didn't "approve" of a lot of our choices. Because he was funding most of the wedding, he held everything over our heads.
After this went on for a couple months, I told my wife "look... this isn't going well at all and you need to talk to him. I'll start participating again once you and I have a voice in all of this". To my wife's credit, she stood up for us. The two of them had a few blow-outs, but it's one of those rare instances where my wife actually stood up for herself to her family.
But despite digging her heels in, her father still wouldn't budge on a lot of things and was just plain being a dickhead. So one day my wife threw her hands up in the air and just said 'fsck it'. "We should just go to Vegas." She was kind of joking, but I was already booking tickets before she finished the sentence. "Fsck it... WE SHOULD! Seriously!"
So, we got married in Vegas. We still planned it out over about 6 months, but it was SO much easier! We just told everyone "hey, this is where we're going and this is when we're going to be there. You're invited if you want to come." A lot of the places in Vegas are very good at helping plan a wedding, too. You really don't have to sweat the small stuff. In most cases, they've thought of everything. It took all of the pressure out of it and it was a blast. We stayed out there for a week and just took in the whole atmosphere. We went back for our first anniversary, too.
NO regrets! Unless you're dead-set on a traditional wedding, I'd recommend it to anyone. We had so much damn fun, and the cool thing is that everyone who came also had a lot of fun. Most wedding are just about the two people getting married, and it's mean to put your loved ones through 6 hours of your self-adoration. Get everyone out to Vegas instead!
Thanks for the reply jbourne... I'd love to go to Vegas and invite some to go with us or just go by ourselves and tie the knot, then come back and do a small family/friend reception.
PingSpike
Lifer
- Feb 25, 2004
- 21,758
- 603
- 126
I wish we could have done this. But by the time my wife came around to the idea, we were already heavily invested in the more traditional one. The wedding was nice and went very well of course...but was it worth all the hassle? No.
I think the big traditional overdone wedding is starting to die out myself. They're just to expensive, and all the companies that you buy from give you a super screw job because its a wedding. I could be wrong though, women seem to cling to the idea...but as the average weddings costs continue to spiral upward, along with everything else...I think the decision is going to stop becoming one they really have any choice in.
I think the big traditional overdone wedding is starting to die out myself. They're just to expensive, and all the companies that you buy from give you a super screw job because its a wedding. I could be wrong though, women seem to cling to the idea...but as the average weddings costs continue to spiral upward, along with everything else...I think the decision is going to stop becoming one they really have any choice in.
lokiju
Lifer
- May 29, 2003
- 18,526
- 5
- 0
My brother and his now wife did that.
It was me, my Mom & Dad on my brothers side and his wifes side her Mom, Grandma, two brothers and one sister and that was it.
They said they'd do a proper wedding down the road but that was over 3 years ago and I'm thinking it's not gonna happen.
I'm getting married in October, but we're not going over board, it's going to be 75 guest and a total cost of about $5,000 which isn't as bad as it could be I guess.
It was me, my Mom & Dad on my brothers side and his wifes side her Mom, Grandma, two brothers and one sister and that was it.
They said they'd do a proper wedding down the road but that was over 3 years ago and I'm thinking it's not gonna happen.
I'm getting married in October, but we're not going over board, it's going to be 75 guest and a total cost of about $5,000 which isn't as bad as it could be I guess.
Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
The year was 1978, when I ran off with my fiancee, at her parent's disapproval, to Las Vegas, where we were married. We're still married.
Awesome!!! I was seriously considering doing this until my fiancee told me how important it was that I ask her father's permission.... after getting through that hour of sweating balls, nothing could be worse.
What happens if her daddy says "NO"?
Originally posted by: bleeb
Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
The year was 1978, when I ran off with my fiancee, at her parent's disapproval, to Las Vegas, where we were married. We're still married.
Awesome!!! I was seriously considering doing this until my fiancee told me how important it was that I ask her father's permission.... after getting through that hour of sweating balls, nothing could be worse.
What happens if her daddy says "NO"?
"after getting through that hour of sweating balls, nothing could be worse."
I've already done it as stated above - fortunately after interrogating me with 1,000 questions he gave me his blessing.
My wife had a big ass wedding against my wish... so look at us now.. her mom is not well and constantly need surgery and medical care... I'm not paying 1 penny of that.
That wedding money was my down payment for a house a few years ago, and housing double and triple since then.. we could have live very comfortably... but she gone and blow it on 1 day... har har says me..
even my parent didn't want to shell out money for the "party"
That wedding money was my down payment for a house a few years ago, and housing double and triple since then.. we could have live very comfortably... but she gone and blow it on 1 day... har har says me..
even my parent didn't want to shell out money for the "party"
Sorry to hear about that man. Sometimes I think that we get the traditional wedding idea so soldered into our brain that we don't think about the future expenses... its just the moment that means so much to us. I'm fortunate enough that my financee suggested the smaller wedding. And yes, we'd definately like to use the saved $$$ as a dp on a house soon. Thank you guys for all of your input on this, it is much appreciated.
Its okay, i dont mind, i'm such a scum bag though... haha... no xmas present for them this year either...
i went out last year and bought her brother a $250 samsung portable dvd player and he thinks i got cheap ones, he went to the store to make sure its not a 80 dollar model..
so i made sure i cross that sorry ass off my xmas list..
That's exactly what we did, too. About 3 months after the Vegas trip, we held a small informal reception.
Again, no regrets at all
.Problem with Vegas is that I will want to gamble.... I guess I'd have to set a budget for blow money.
theknight571
Platinum Member
- Mar 23, 2001
- 2,896
- 2
- 81
My wife and I held a small gathering at her parent's house. Was approx 20-30 invited, but ended up with 50 or so showing up. lol
We hired a "minister" to perform the ceremony from a local wedding chappel, and provided pop, some booze, and the main dishes (chicken, pasta, salad, etc) for the "reception".
On the invites we stated that they were welcome to bring a dish to pass if they wished to.
If I had to guess... we spent maybe $1000-1500 total, including the maid service to help with cleanup (before in preparation, and after to get the house back to "normal").
We considered Vegas, but my wife and her family don't like to fly... and driving wasn't really an option... so we just kept it small.
We hired a "minister" to perform the ceremony from a local wedding chappel, and provided pop, some booze, and the main dishes (chicken, pasta, salad, etc) for the "reception".
On the invites we stated that they were welcome to bring a dish to pass if they wished to.
If I had to guess... we spent maybe $1000-1500 total, including the maid service to help with cleanup (before in preparation, and after to get the house back to "normal").
We considered Vegas, but my wife and her family don't like to fly... and driving wasn't really an option... so we just kept it small.
Wow, how'd you pull that off budgeting only 1500 bucks. 50 people showing up at my wedding w/ all the other stuff would easily run 5K+
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