Hardly slept- because they want me to be a manager

[Ns1]

Well at least with they new raise you can afford the increase in hookers and blow to keep your stress at a reasonable level

 

[ponyo]

It's why you get paid the big bucks. You'll get used to it. You'll look back later and wonder why you were stressing out over minor things. You become tougher and you'll be fine. We're all in the same boat. Some of us just make more money to deal with the BS.

 

[PowerEngineer]

OP, I think you already recognize that this offer says a lot about what your management thinks of you. They like you so much that they want to work with you more! It's quite a complement, and it should make you feel better about your contribution to the work.

They are offering you an opportunity to escape the PM grind (if you really are sick of that grind). Managing people is a whole different thing that requires a different set of skills (and despite this, the universal tendency is to promote the best individual contributor to supervise a group! ). You might find managing people to be something you enjoy and are good at.

As others have said, first-level management can be a thankless job without enough added compensation for the work involved. On the other hand, it's usually the only path to further promotions. The transition can be tough, especially if you will be supervising people who have previously been your peers. A common mistake made by new managers is not allocating enough time to management tasks. It's too easy to continue pouring your efforts into being an individual contributor. If you don't spend at least 30%-40% of your time on management, then you're probably shortchanging your management responsibilities.

The problem with these kinds of opportunities is that you may always wonder what life would have been like had you made a different choice. In my admittedly limited experience, it's been easier to live with the "I tried it and know how that worked out" than with "I passed on it and will always wonder what might have been".

Good luck whichever way you go. :thumbsup:

 

[Udgnim]

get more Corgis to try to offset the dread

 

[Ns1]

get more Corgis to try to offset the dread

I have many available for adoption, HMU.

 

[Fritzo]

Money isn't everything. You sound miserable already and you hate what you're doing... why would you take on even more work when you are barely capable of maintaining sanity now?

The bigger question here is "what's next?" in my opinion. What do you actually *want* to do with your career? If you cannot answer that, I would hit the brakes and take a long introspective look at your next 5 years. Where do you want to be?

That said, if you don't have any other possible career choices at the moment, and you already hate what you're doing, you might as well get paid more for your misery.

Also, don't say things like 'insecure pussy,' about yourself or anyone else. You're better than that based on your other posts.

Personally I would run like hell, not from the promotion, but from the job in general. But that's not very good advice if you have nothing else to fall back on right now. That kind of work sounds literally punishing, I can't imagine ever doing that for a career personally.

I was in that same position until January of this year. Left a place that sucked the soul out of me for 17 years and now I'm at the best place I've ever worked. Everyone deserves to enjoy their job this much

The point is, if you're not happy, put yourself out there. Not having any prospects doesn't mean there aren't people looking for you. It's amazing how everyone tends to downplay the skills that the rest of the world is looking for. It's amazing what a simple Monster resume can do.

 

[Imp]

Things sure are easier when you don't go to bed thinking, "Goddammit, I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow. That sucks."

At one point in time, I wanted to be at work. Interesting projects, good pacing, quiet time to think about things.... OT wasn't bad because it didn't feel like work. I had more energy to get things done at home, and was generally in a better mindset.
In the years since then, the technical demands at work have increased, while technically-oriented staffing has decreased. It's not been good for me mentally.

I know that feeling... First year of work at an old job, I couldn't wait to be there. Had a bunch of friends at work, got there half an hour to an hour early and left half an hour late, gave my company free time for fun...

Fast forward 2 years, I wasn't happy but could still wake up every morning. Add 2 more years, started dreading being at work. Did all my work to the best of my ability but I started doing everything to try to get out of my position. Add one more year and I started drinking hard liquor after work every night and contemplated ways I could miss work like killing myself. Took a 30% pay cut to do something else within a month or two of that...

If I were OP, I'd give the management thing a shot for a few months and remind myself everyday that I can do gay4pay if it gets too bad.

 

[Platypus]

I was in that same position until January of this year. Left a place that sucked the soul out of me for 17 years and now I'm at the best place I've ever worked. Everyone deserves to enjoy their job this much

The point is, if you're not happy, put yourself out there. Not having any prospects doesn't mean there aren't people looking for you. It's amazing how everyone tends to downplay the skills that the rest of the world is looking for. It's amazing what a simple Monster resume can do.

Yep, had a similar experience. I now love waking up and going to work, I make a real impact in things that millions of people use and rely on every day, some with their lives. It took a bit to allow myself to get out of my comfort zone and leave behind a comfortable but awful career, but I am really glad I did.

 

[allisolm]

OP, I think you already recognize that this offer says a lot about what your management thinks of you. They like you so much that they want to work with you more! It's quite a complement, and it should make you feel better about your contribution to the work.

They are offering you an opportunity to escape the PM grind (if you really are sick of that grind). Managing people is a whole different thing that requires a different set of skills (and despite this, the universal tendency is to promote the best individual contributor to supervise a group! ). You might find managing people to be something you enjoy and are good at.

As others have said, first-level management can be a thankless job without enough added compensation for the work involved. On the other hand, it's usually the only path to further promotions.

The problem with these kinds of opportunities is that you may always wonder what life would have been like had you made a different choice. In my admittedly limited experience, it's been easier to live with the "I tried it and know how that worked out" than with "I passed on it and will always wonder what might have been".

I agree with all of that.

OP, a few years ago my son was facing this same dilemma. He wasn't sure he wanted to go the management route lest he wind up wasting all his time in multiple meaningless meetings. He and my husband (a career military officer) had a lot of talks about the pros and cons of management and eventually he decided that he would accept the company's evaluation that he would thrive in that environment.

Forward to today. Son is a division director, travels the world over, manages a many, many million dollar budget, gets paid big bucks, is getting his MBA courtesy of his company (a $76,000 outlay from them), is being groomed to be a vice-president - and loves his work.

It may not be for everyone, but you'll never know unless you try. Good luck, whatever you choose.

 

[ImpulsE69]

It will vary by company and culture, but in general most IT middle management sucks and is not worth the money, but if you want to do anything higher, it is a requirement. The problem is you say you hate your job already, taking a management position won't change that because now you are hating your job for everyone under you.

You may think, I'll be in charge, I know what the issues are and I can change them, however, due to upper management and red tape, just like government, nothing will change.

Also middle management is first to be let go.

Choose carefully.

On the flip side, it WILL be a change for you. You might find you LIKE being in charge and are good at it.

 

[BoomerD]

I've been a foreman before. I hated the headaches that came with the job. It finally got to the point where I'd quit a job before I'd let them force me to be a foreman. the extra money just wasn't worth the trouble, IMO.

If you already hate your job...this isn't likely to make it any better.

 

[Markbnj]

Honestly, I know this isn't satire, but it's almost too perfect. Good luck making your decision. Imo, no amount of money is worth hating your life, for the simple reason that time is the most valuable thing there is.

 

[Red Squirrel]

It's a trap!

Being promoted to management is an easy way to get you out of the union, then they fire you!

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

I work in IT. I'm a PM- app development.

My work has been mentally exhausting- to a point I feel like I don't want to be a PM anymore. As you know, being a PM means you are the punching bag for others that you don't have control over & external factors that delay your project. Sponsor management, resource management, vendor management, all sucks donkey balls.

I don't think I'm good at what I do. It takes a certain person with certain energy to do this. As I'm getting older, I'm feeling this isn't for me, and the feeling is getting stronger.

I have been struggling & the quality of my work has been declining.

Yesterday my boss pulled me in and her boss was also in the room. I thought I was in trouble finally.

You wouldn't believe this, it's like a scene from a movie. Based on whatever snippet of misinformation they've been having. They think I'm doing a great job. I think they liked some presentations I've done for sponsors.

And since my boss is getting too much work, she wants me to 'rise up' and manage other PMs.

I was utterly dumbfounded. I can't stand my line of work, now she wants me to have direct reports?

This isn't her just dumping work on me- it looks like they're priming me up for growth. HR talked to me afterward too- looks like it'll involve a good raise as well.

I'm not an idiot, this is an incredible opportunity others would die for. I have a gut feeling I'd regret it for rest of my life if I let this ship sail.

But the fact remains that I find all this exhausting. This doesn't come natural to me. I DREAD waking up daily.

I think I should have some kind of an introspection session to get over it & take this head on.

I didn't want to misspeak, and wanted to have the ball in my court first. So I told the bosses that I'll take it on. And they'll see how I do on weekly basis.

It's Friday and I'm not even enjoying it. When did I become such a miserable insecure pussy?

TL;DR
1. Starting to hate my line of work as I grow older
2. Management thinks I'm doing a good job, wants me to be a manager
3. Don't want to manage, I dread it, yet I feel it'll be a huge mistake to let this go.

The more you do it, the more you get used to it. Be thankful you weren't stupid enough to let this opportunity go away.

I know where you are coming from, but just like anything else... the more you use it, the more you get used to it...

 

[Captante]

Although, the options aren't just Tridentboy or CEO of Apple.

Moderation in all things.

This nearly made me spit coffee all over my keyboard! :biggrin:

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Working at a job that makes you crazy, alters your perspective and changes your life in a bad way. You become rigid in your thinking and come to accept company policy as your guide to "success." Too many people put their lives on hold to do the "smart" financial choice while not realizing how their lives are changing for the worse. They become adept at lying to themselves and convince themselves that they'll start living after they retire. It ain't gonna happen.

 

[RaistlinZ]

I wouldn't do it.

I've been in the situation before where I dreaded even going to bed at night...because that would mean morning would come again. I would lie in bed for 20 minutes dreading getting up. I hated my job so much my health began to suffer - chronic chest pains, depression, anxiety. It was awful.

If you can't get up in the morning now, it's not going to get better with more responsibility and pressure.

 

[bbhaag]

So the question is. Do you remain a peon or move up the ladder. I'll be honest it is a tough call. Both sides have there draw backs and there upsides.
Honestly I didn't read your long winded post but if it were up to me I would go for it.

 

[cavemanmoron]

Do it, take the job.

Many years ago I said NO to a higher paying job at my former place of employment, It was 2 Grades higher than where I was and I would have had to go back on 2nd shift. I said no,and when asked again by Management to Please take the job, I said No Hell No, I don't want to go back to 2nd shift.

Well, 2 years later that job title was raised 2 grades higher; to 4 pay Grades higher than where I was, and I kicked myself for the next almost 30 years. If I had taken the job, it would have opened the door to even better Management High paying jobs. I retired 1 Grade higher than I was when I said Hell No.

Oh 3 months after I said Hell No, they switched me back to 2nd shift, because they were suddenly short staffed. I got stuck on evening shift for most of the next 20 years. I finally got back on days for the last 15 years.

Take the job.

I work in IT. I'm a PM- app development.

My work has been mentally exhausting- to a point I feel like I don't want to be a PM anymore. As you know, being a PM means you are the punching bag for others that you don't have control over & external factors that delay your project. Sponsor management, resource management, vendor management, all sucks donkey balls.

I don't think I'm good at what I do. It takes a certain person with certain energy to do this. As I'm getting older, I'm feeling this isn't for me, and the feeling is getting stronger.

I have been struggling & the quality of my work has been declining.

Yesterday my boss pulled me in and her boss was also in the room. I thought I was in trouble finally.

You wouldn't believe this, it's like a scene from a movie. Based on whatever snippet of misinformation they've been having. They think I'm doing a great job. I think they liked some presentations I've done for sponsors.

And since my boss is getting too much work, she wants me to 'rise up' and manage other PMs.

I was utterly dumbfounded. I can't stand my line of work, now she wants me to have direct reports?

This isn't her just dumping work on me- it looks like they're priming me up for growth. HR talked to me afterward too- looks like it'll involve a good raise as well.

I'm not an idiot, this is an incredible opportunity others would die for. I have a gut feeling I'd regret it for rest of my life if I let this ship sail.

But the fact remains that I find all this exhausting. This doesn't come natural to me. I DREAD waking up daily.

I think I should have some kind of an introspection session to get over it & take this head on.

I didn't want to misspeak, and wanted to have the ball in my court first. So I told the bosses that I'll take it on. And they'll see how I do on weekly basis.

It's Friday and I'm not even enjoying it. When did I become such a miserable insecure pussy?

TL;DR
1. Starting to hate my line of work as I grow older
2. Management thinks I'm doing a good job, wants me to be a manager
3. Don't want to manage, I dread it, yet I feel it'll be a huge mistake to let this go.

 

[KentState]

Did the manager thing and hated it. Went the architect/consultant path and have enjoyed life so much more. I will gladly end my career being a principal or associate fellow of some type.

 

[postmortemIA]

Take a job, if you don't like move to a different company. Or move to a different company outright.

Doing nothing is not a wise option. Expect backslash if you choose to do so.